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6/1/11

Why the hell are there seagulls in Idaho??

Hng'uathua ngrlg'ngh t'krghu Cthulhu...
I was mowing my lawn this past weekend, when I heard a familiar sound.  It was the sound I have missed for the last few months.

I miss California.  The beaches.  The smell of the ocean, the crash of the waves hitting sand.  The cry of the seagulls....

...wait, why am I hearing seagulls in Idaho?

I look around, and there are about 3 of them flying and crowing.

Maybe they were lost??

Later that weekend, I was walking downtown near the river.  More seagulls.

Um, hey seagulls.  There is no sea in Idaho.  In fact, even if we were on the western tip of Idaho, you'd still be about 457 miles away from it.  So yeah, Eastern Idaho, wrong spot.

My girlfriend tells me that seagulls are everywhere up here.  "They like the lakes and rivers..."

But wouldn't that make them lake-gulls?  Or river-gulls?

I'm sorry, but when I look at the map of the US, I don't imagine seagulls in Idaho.  Are they in Nebraska too?  Tennessee?  What about North Dakota?  Or is this just an Idaho thing?

To make matters more confusing, I was driving home from my marathon day last night, and I saw a road sign that almost floored me:

Seagull Bay, Next Exit.

Um, excuse me??
Turns out yes, there is a Seagull Bay, Idaho.  But no sea.  This is a bay in a man-made reservoir.

So we have river-gulls, lake-gulls, and now reservoir-gulls.

Reservoir-gulls.  I still had about 2 hours of driving left to do, and the thought of 5 seagulls in black-and-white suits made me laugh.

Quentin Tarentino, if you're listening and like the idea of reservoir-gulls, call me.  As of June 1st, it's gimmick infringement if you, er, take it from me...

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get to work.  I hope my car didn't get pooped on by any of those pesky river-gulls....
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42 witty retorts:

Underground Dude said...

I can relate with your predicament and had a similar conversation with myself after I moved from the West Coast.

This is why I just call these birds an albatross. It saves me hours of confusion and self debate.

Not the Hero said...

I always wondered about the inland gulls. Alberta has a ridiculous amount as well. I can't even say they enjoy the lakes and rivers... I live on the prairies.

Ps. Why does Idaho have a road called "Quebec" Route... Either that is a long ass road or a way of confusing Canadians.

Cheeseboy said...

You are probably well aware that there are seagulls all over Utah too. Freakin rat birds! And they are our state bird, no less! I hate them.

Dwija {House Unseen} said...

Oh yeah...the infamous lake gulls of Michigan. So much so that our closest lake is actually called...you guess it...Gull Lake. Posers!

Rob said...

Michigan has em too, though I suppose it makes more sense because I got those lakes everywhere around me.

Josie said...

Seagulls are the state bird for Utah.....

squatlo said...

We have them here on the lakes and rivers, and especially around the sanitary landfills...

For some reason, Walmart parking lots and huge billboards seem to attract them here, too...

They're like mosquitos and Crimson Tide fans, they're everywhere. Of seagulls, mosquitos, and Alabama fans, I much prefer the company of the gulls. Far brighter and less annoying than the others.

cheers!

The Simple Dude said...

Seagulls are everywhere. We have lots of them in Minnesota.

They have apparently evolved, as they actually prefer hanging out in mall parking lots than being anywhere near water.

SD
www.TheSimpleDude.com

Kelly said...

Seagulls are especially tasty when marinated with garlic and butter- but make sure they're dead first. They won't put up such a fuss. Glad I could help.

BigMike said...

Call em what you want they are still just the cockroaches of the skys.

Autumnforest said...

Haha. I freaked out when I ran into some in Yuma, Arizona! It's not that far from Baja, but really only the Colorado River to attract them. Perhaps these particular gulls have a bit of ocean phobia and feel safer there. Glad you got a touch of home, though.

Astronomy Pirate said...

They are rats of the sky, where ever there is human garbage for them to sustain themselves, they will go. Scavenger species like this are starting to dominate ecosystems that have been disrupted by human development. So, less large birds of prey like hawks and falcons and eagles, and more crows and seagulls.

Alice X said...

Seagulls are scary beasts! I once saw one swip a pasty out of some guys hand.

Ally said...

This weekend a seagull grabbed a string cheese from my husband's hands. I always pack a few when we go to the beach. That sucker consumed the cheese stick WHOLE.

FourthGradeNothing.com

Lady Estrogen said...

Those shithawks are everywhere. Pour a bottle of water on the ground and they'll friggin' find it.
SQEEEEEE!!

Colin Biano said...

they go wherever the wind blows them, man

FREE BIIIRRRRRRRDDDDDDDDDD

Nia Langley said...

Oh my days. A seagull? In Idaho? Very bizarre.

I know how you feel, though. I miss San Diego so much.

nialangleyspeaks.blogspot.com

Zombie said...

oh my god it ate Patrick Star!!

Dale said...

haha, this is funny. I never thought it would be possible to miss seagulls. I hate these birds, they are everywhere in SF and they're pretty gross. But I guess if you haven't heard or scene them in a while I could see why it'd be nice to hear them again. that's funny, the idea for Quentin Tarantino. Enjoy the lake-gulls for the time being. Nice post

Dale

Asty said...

idaho is now san diego

KrowOne said...

Their calls and territorial fights are something which grinds my gears...

Annabelle said...

I very much do not like birds. A geographically challenged bird would just piss me off.

Jewels said...

I'm with SD on this one...they are all over PA and while we have plenty of rivers and lakes and aren't too far from the shore we still have no oceans. The majority of our gulls are parking lot gulls and a major annoyance. The sound of "sea" gulls is not one I enjoy at all.

JewelsTurning30

The Empress said...

Those pesky flying rats (seagulls) seem to have invaded just about everywhere these days but bird shit is still bird shit no matter the location.

ed said...

at least you guys dont have pigeons. pigeons suck

D4 said...

Rivergulls. I wouldn't have expected that. Know what I just realized though? I can now spot Idaho on the map of the united states. I couldn't have done that last year. It's your fault.

Zertuzzi said...

love the blog mmmm

jillsmo said...

Uhhh.... what's in that penguin dude's mouth up there?

kal said...

i was guessing migration, but the river gulls theory seems right

THE SNEE said...

Brilliant blog subject! Seagull habitat outside of the sea has confounded me for years. Now, I get it....Do I?

The Angry Lurker said...

Gulls are flying rodents.

Mynx said...

we have seagulls here. Mostly by the ocean but they also seem to like the rubbish dump and the cricket ovals. Certainly livens up a test match when one of them cops a hard hit "six"

Melanie said...

i have found that anywhere there is a possibility someone might feed them, they are there. we were just accosted last week by an angry flock in a burger king parking lot.

LilPixi said...

Seagulls are cool until they start threatening your life for your fish & chips. At times I've expected one of those to pull a knife on me. "Gimme your turkey bagel or you're gonna get cut, bitch."

Thank, Q said...

"Lakegulls?" "Rivergulls?" LOL! You need to stop! I do find that odd. How did they find the bay? Someone had to relocate them there or something. Is it true that if you throw an antacid in the air at them that they will explode if they eat it? :)

GamerGanz said...

Heh I'm so used to having Seagulls around that at first I didn't understand what your problem was. xD

Maybe it got lost.
Or maybe it found you by the your smell to tell you they all miss you back in California. :)

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