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7/1/11

Further proving the lunacy of this town: WATER IS DANGEROUS!!

Do you know what dihydrogen monoxide is?  It's water.

Yes, wonderful water.  Our bodies are roughly 70% water, and we need at least 64oz of water a day to remain healthy.

The average american uses 80-100 gallons of water a day (mostly by flushing the toilet... did you know if you pee'd in the shower, you could save up to 1,157 gallons of water a year??  eeeewwww, but interesting...)

But water has an evil side....

Not too long ago, a student at Eagle Rock middle school in Idaho Falls won first prize at his science fair for his presentation on dihydrogen monoxide.

He stated the following:

  • Dihydrogen monoxide can cause excessive sweating and vomiting.
  • it is a major component in acid rain
  • it can cause severe burns in its gaseous state
  • accidental inhalation CAN KILL YOU
  • it contributes to erosion
  • it decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes
  • it has been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients
He then asked 50 people if they supported a ban on this chemical.  Of the 50:
  • 43 supported the ban
  • 6 were undecided
  • 1 knew that dihydrogen monoxide was water
The title of his prize-winning science fair project was "How Gullible Are We?"

If you look at wikipedia, this kid wasn't the first or last person to fool people into thinking water is evil (link) but it caused enough of an uproar in this town that people were talking for days.

Remember, people... these fools can vote...

Granted, there was no widespread panic.  This wasn't as epic as a zombie apocalypse, but it did cause quite a stir.

What's next?  Parents outraged to find out their children are masticating in public schools?

I personally masticate many times a day.  Often with others.  Sometimes, depending on who I'm with, a prayer is said before I masticate...

Sometimes you can use facts as scare tactics.  Businesses and politicians do this all the time, and people eat it up.  All I can say is this:  Please, folks.  Before you drink whatever koolaid people are handing you, do a little homework on your own...

...or the dihydrogen monoxide is GONNA GIT YOU!!!
Please Share it! :)

21 witty retorts:

Mynx said...

Good old H2O. Always knew it was bad for you *as she refills her wine glass*

blorriepoes said...

lol you shouldnt let those people vote at all !
+1

Claude said...

Oh god water, it's gonna git me! The fact that facts like these are used to have such effects on people is sneaky and sly, but an undeniable truth.

Jeff said...

Didn't you see The Crazies? That shit'll mess you UP.

D4 said...

Pen & Teller did this once. It's not just peeps from Idaho, it's a worldwide thing.

Ally said...

water is my favorite drink. :(

Leeanna said...

People aren't gullible. They're secretly Scientologists. They're just screwing with us.

E said...

LOL that is great - so much fun to play on the ignorance of people.

Did you know water really can kill you if you don't actually pee? Some radio station did a water drinking contest called "Hold your Wee for a wii" back in 2007 see... http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16614865/ns/us_news-life/t/woman-dies-after-water-drinking-contest/

The contestant died. See it is bad for you

Charlene said...

I pour water all over my body at least once every 24 hours. So far nothing has melted because of it!

Bart said...

beer....just beer. thats like a 6 hour drive or so...

Underground Dude said...

"All around the world stupid people are breeding!" -Harvey Danger

It's pretty crazy how quickly people will latch onto speculation without doing the research for themselves. And by crazy, I mean sad.

On a related note:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNGGNomLx_c

RedHeadRob said...

I want to do something like this. I want to fuck with people so badly in my town.

Jazz bazooka said...

i knew water was evil, i knew it all along, that's why i only drink my own piss

PeaceLoveandSharpies said...

Don't try masticating with dyhydrogen monoxide.
It gets all over your face...

Lost.in.Idaho said...

Can I just point out that I really enjoyed posting this piece right after my religion vs gay marriage post?

I had a lengthy debate on that topic with the dad of a childhood friend. He'd rattle off statistics he heard on Glen Beck, and I'd counter with actual facts (citing actual sources).

The moral of this water post is this: With the right rhetoric (and a touch of fear) you can fool 86% of people into believing whatever you say. My (former) FB friend helped prove that point. Drink the koolaid if you choose, but you're not going to win a debate without some actual truth.

Cosmo 'The Ass-man' Kramer said...

Seems like fair fears to me. I never drink water unless it's from my own personal reserve.

becca said...

maybe i should cut back on my H2O drinking habit

Everyday Life

Leila said...

The kid who won the prize should be in business relations or advertising.

Heather said...

At least yours is usable, we had a sewage thing leak into our city's water supply so all of our water has to be boiled before consumption. Imagine our surprise when 15 minutes after we got our drinks at Subway, they went over and turned off the machine lol

Zombie said...

and now I'm thirsty. lol.

Anonymous said...

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