While out, my girl and I spotted this new body soap. It's called "Thai Massage" by Axe. With a name like that, I was expecting a "happy ending" with my $3.58 purchase.
...then I remembered how much it hurts to do THAT and use soap... I started to walk away.
But my girl picked up a bottle and gave it a whiff. She loved the citrus scent, and coaxed me into buying it. She was even tempted to use it herself from time to time.
My mind starts wandering... does that mean shared showers a little more often? If so, this will be worth it. Score! Let's do it!
I buy the bottle, and use it my next shower. It's not too bad. It has an invigorating scent, doesn't dry out my skin, and feels good on the body. But me and my overactive imagination keeps waiting for the bottle to ask me if I want "Full release service" followed by a slew of cops pouring into my house shouting "THIS IS A BUST! HANDS IN THE AIR!"
And, you know, only when I have an extra $50 or so to drop on... well.... THAT sort of thing...
The worst part of it all? As far as massages go, this one wasn't that great. I still have that kink in my shoulders, and my lower back still aches. As a soap, I'd give it a good 3.5 out of 5, but it really needs to work on the massaging aspect.