Ads 468x60px

Subscribe:

9/25/11

Love me long time?

I went shopping this weekend for the usual supplies:  Soap, shampoo, razors, etc.  You know.  Grooming stuff.  I have to look my best, and smell good.  I embrace my metro-tendencies in this way.

While out, my girl and I spotted this new body soap.  It's called "Thai Massage" by Axe.  With a name like that, I was expecting a "happy ending" with my $3.58 purchase.

...then I remembered how much it hurts to do THAT and use soap...  I started to walk away.

But my girl picked up a bottle and gave it a whiff.  She loved the citrus scent, and coaxed me into buying it.  She was even tempted to use it herself from time to time.

My mind starts wandering... does that mean shared showers a little more often? If so, this will be worth it.  Score!  Let's do it!

I buy the bottle, and use it my next shower.  It's not too bad.  It has an invigorating scent, doesn't dry out my skin, and feels good on the body.  But me and my overactive imagination keeps waiting for the bottle to ask me if I want "Full release service" followed by a slew of cops pouring into my house shouting "THIS IS A BUST!  HANDS IN THE AIR!"

I really don't want to end up on the 9 o'clock news, so I'll only be using this Thai Massage discreetly, and when I know all the doors are locked.

And, you know, only when I have an extra $50 or so to drop on... well.... THAT sort of thing...

The worst part of it all?  As far as massages go, this one wasn't that great.  I still have that kink in my shoulders, and my lower back still aches.  As a soap, I'd give it a good 3.5 out of 5, but it really needs to work on the massaging aspect.
Please Share it! :)

17 witty retorts:

D4 said...

Got me smiling by the end of it! I needed that, hehe

Zombie said...

well you could always just give yourself a happy ending with that. just sayin'.

Shutterbug said...

LOL! That was an entertaining read, as always! :P

Thank_Q said...

Did it come with a Thai? If so, I'll take two. This is pretty interesting! I've never heard of anything named after something like this. Only you would find and post this type of thing. LOL! Your blog is on fire with randomness!

Random Girl said...

those Axe boys are so naughty, always going to the strong mental image and setting totally false expectations... boo!

Autumnforest said...

So, a pack of wild women didn't storm your shower? Those commercials are so misleading.

Bart said...

man good idea, i need some of dem supplies too. well just deodorant.

Tony Van Helsing said...

Axe is called Lynx over here and it's smells like Sex Panther.

Vapid Vixen said...

I just had this image in my head with you standing in the shower with an axe bubble beard and mo-hawk with your hands in the air when the cops bust in on you.

Pickleope said...

WHAT!?! An Axe product that doesn't smell like a rotted squirrel marinating in offal nesting in a bed of Gorgonzola left out in the sun? Shocking. But considering their advertisements, you'd think a fleshlight at least would be included with every purchase.

aamedor said...

post made me smile, funny

The Angry Lurker said...

Axe/Lynx is full of faeces, I'm still waiting on the orgies.

Al Penwasser said...

From reading this, I learned a new term: "Full release service."
And who says blogging isn't educational?

Technosauce said...

LOL, classic. Funny reads you have.

Smart Ass Sara said...

Hey- that stuff DOES smell good. I tried to get Matt to buy it but he said no way because he would smell like an asshole. But from all of my experience, I've never come across an asshole scented like that. ;)

Lady Estrogen said...

THAT and soap?
I am unaware of this phenomenon; please explain :)

i_love_weed said...

fukin love this stuff, smells sooo good

Post a Comment

Comments are always appreciated. Sometimes they end up being better than the initial post! Come join in on the fun... (and remember, you can post anonymously)

And if you like the post, feel free to share! Stumble, Digg, Tweet, go bananas!