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9/18/11

Why I Envy Al Bundy

I remember growing up in the 80's and 90's.  One of my favorite shows was Married With Children.

The premise of the show was the life of Al Bundy, a shoe salesman who hated his life.  He was married to Peg, a redhead wife that specialized in driving her husband crazy.

He hated his job, he loathed his marriage and family, and we all pitied Al.

Fast forward to present time.  I'm in my 30's now, and I envy Al Bundy.

Why?

He owns his own house and car.  Too many people I know can barely get into apartments, let alone purchase their own house.  I'm currently renting as it is.  Al not only owns a house, but a 2-story house with a decent sized back yard and a spacious-enough garage that can be converted into a man cave.  Lucky bastard.

He has a stable job.  Sure, he's a shoe salesman and hates his career, but how many people in the 2010's wouldn't kill to be out of the unemployment line and working at a shoe store?  It's not a 6-figure income, but with unemployment rates as high as they are, you take what you can get.

He's married to a woman who likes sex.  For his kids to be as old as they are, Al should statistically be divorced and paying child support.  Instead, he's still married to the mother of his children, and mom (Peg) is still fairly hot.  And craves sex.  This rarely happens these days, so Al can be considered ahead of the curve.

He has disposable income.  Al is constantly in The Jiggly Room, MwC's resident strip club.  You don't go to a titty-bar unless you have some money to burn, right?  That, coupled with household repairs mean he's got dough.  It seemed like every other episode resulted in a broken window, appliances destroyed, or other accidents.  Yet, week in and week out, they all get fixed.  My girlfriend's car broke in 2009, and we couldn't afford to fix it until December 2010.  Al, can you spare some change?

Yes, 20 years ago we felt bad for Al Bundy.  The poor man had a mortgage, a wife with a sexual appetite, a loyal dog who loved him, a stable job, and a close circle of friends.  Now, in the 21st century?


He'd be living the dream.

Note:  This post was the winner of a Dude Write "Diamond Man Card" award, being the best post of the week in the Dude Write lineup.


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33 witty retorts:

The Simple Dude said...

All true, he is an American hero.

Don't forget the four touchdowns he scored in one game back in high school - and he's a hell of a bowler.

Makes me want to go pick up an issue of "Big 'Uns".

TheSimpleDude.com

J. Antonio said...

I agree with simple dude,
God bless America,
Very good blog

Oatcake said...

Enjoyable read aha, and kinda what he said ^

Shaw said...

The one thing I never got is why he never wanted to shag Peg. SHES SO HOT!

The Writer Currently Known as Rory said...

Al Bundy's one of my heroes for those reasons. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a "No Ma'am" meeting to go to. ;)

The Red Mosquito said...

There was never food in the house but always money for Peggy to go shopping and Kelly to go out on dates and for Bud to buy inflatable women. I miss Al and crew, there just aren't shows like that on TV anymore.
If you're as young as I am (31) you probably enjoy watching the reruns to get all the adult jokes that went by us when we were young.

aamedor said...

Im confused why does leela have two eyes in this picture

D4 said...

Love the show. Never really understood why he as so miserable, always kinda had your current view on it.

JKiMS15 said...

I still can't get the intro / theme song out of my head! It's too catchy..

Pickleope said...

Very salient points. He's also neighbor and friends with Ted McGinly, or Stan Gable from Revenge of the Nerds. Maybe he was always bummed out because he had a hot daughter and was constantly worried about her being a dick magnet.

Adsila said...

Yep, his was the life sitting on his couch with his hand tucked in his pants watching his favorite shows, haha!

Shutterbug said...

life sure is complicated in the 21st century!

Smart Ass Sara said...

I'm apparently living the dream and it mostly blows. Like.. when you have no heat because you're too broke to insulate the house. I wish I could call someone to complain... but it'd come to my own voicemail. :/

Thank, Q said...

Dude, I think out of your six million posts, this one is the best. The analogy of how a man who appeared defeated in the 80's can now stand with his chest out in 2011 is amazing and spot on! Great, great post!

my day in a sentence said...

*And* Peggy is hot!

Tonya the Hobo Girl said...

Didn't you hear? Al divorced Peg and is now remarried to a much younger Colombian sex pot. Kelly is married to a realtor and has three children. Bud is gay and has a little Vietnamese daughter with his significant other.

A Beer for the Shower said...

Also, in real life, he's a jiu jitsu black belt and could probably kick all of our asses without trying. Seriously.

Lendo Khar said...

Now I envy Al as well... And I always feel bad for him. How I didn't notice before he was living the dream. MInd = Blown

Holysterini said...

He was leaving the dream.. delayed to realise it.. is it late already?

Wily Guy said...

Who knew Al Bundy would be our hero. Now I hear Peg's voice on a ton of commercials.

Funny work, B.

Chris Bird said...

Great post. Very true, and sad. Not for Al, but for the state of disrepair that our world is in.

Kevin said...

Great post but you forgot one thing...he had Christina Applegate as his daughter....wait that sounded kind of iggy huh? I retract that statement...kind of.

whowouldathought-Kevin.blogspot.com

Michael A. Walker said...

It's funny how life has a way of putting things in perspective. Al's misery is another man's paradise. Just goes to show you that when you think you have it bad, there are scores of others who have it worse.

Michael A. Walker
Defying Procrastination

Workingdan said...

I would kill to be Al Bundy right now....complete with the sex craving wife! Oh, who am I kidding! I am Al Bundy, minus the disposable income!

P.J. said...

And he gets away with chilling, watching some tube and sticking his hand down his drawers. Living the dream, indeed.

Addman said...

I can't say I've ever seen the show, so I read the whole thing as though you were writing about Ted Bundy instead. I still felt jealous of his life.

Chiz said...

I know. I'm still living at home with my parents and work in a tiny cubicle making garbage pay. What did he ever have to complain about?

I can't say that I didn't love the show, though.

The Six-Fingered Monkey said...

Great post bro. So true.

Rusty said...

Nothing but truth bombs. Al Bundy, legend

Youngman Brown said...

He really did have it all.

And now he is married to that hot chick in Modern Family. What a pimp.

Joe said...

Now I remember; Al is my hero. (Sorry, Sean.)

Michael G DAgostino said...

I know what you mean. It's all a case of how you look at what you've got, isn't it?

Blondie McBaffled said...

Just goes to show you can always find something to bitch about if you want to bad enough.

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