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9/16/11

My Laptop is Female

...how do I know this?

...well, the clitoris kind of gave it away...
I was at a coffee shop, taking care of work emails and chatting up the staff, when one points out "What's up with the clit on your laptop?"

I'm confused... "excuse me?"

"The clit," she says.  "That big red button begging to be played with..."

And now, thanks to her, I can't get that thought out of my head.


It's a lenovo thinkpad, and it's my work laptop.  The button acts as a mouse when you don't want to use the touchpad, but I rarely ever use it.

But now, I can't take my hands off it.  I'm playing with it like it *is* a real clit, and I'm imagining my laptop enjoying every bit of it.

Speaking as a guy, it's never been so easy for me to find one and flick it.  Usually they're sneaky little buggers, and need a little coaxing before they come out to play.  Not with my laptop.  It's presented front-and-center, begging for your attention.

Now if only I could find the g-spot on this damn thing... I've heard it's near one of the USB ports, but I never seem to be able to find it.
Please Share it! :)

22 witty retorts:

my day in a sentence said...

Dude, you are weird. :D

I once used a laptop with one of these. I hated it so much. :D

Random Girl said...

That had me cracking up! It is so totally true! Only if you rub it right will it take you where you want to go...the laptop button I'm talking about, get your head out of the gutter pervs!

Haven said...

You know your comp is a girl the same way I know my car is a boy.... I drive manual = the stick shift gave it away.

Autumnforest said...

This is precisely why it's called a laptop, dear. Enjoy the ride.

Vinny C said...

I've always wondered why those little red buttons on the Lenovo laptops fascinate me so much. Now I know.

Adsila said...

Did you give your laptop a name? If you are going to mess with her, you might as well have a name to yell out.

Pickleope said...

At last, a purpose for that little nubbin! But wait...what if it's a poorly hung dude? Nah, it has all those ports to stick cables in.

D4 said...

I remember the first time I saw one of those. I thought the same thing, laptop clit.. I also played with it. I got bored though. Tsk.

Shaw said...

lol...

AllenTesch said...

You should try it out. My last comp had one and I miss it so much. It's much easier to use than a touchpad.

in bed with married women said...

hmm, never thought about it this way. mine doesn't have a clit and i think it might be sort of asexual. i would imagine it is quietly horrified by the things i make it search for me.

jill

Shutterbug said...

LOL! guys have one track minds, I tell ya! :P

The Lunatic Pope said...

does your laptop get mad when you talk to other appliances? mine does. :(

Zombie said...

Oh god my laptop has to be a chick too...

Al Penwasser said...

I could never find that thing. But, that's okay. I just wanted to quickly get done with my report and go watch the ballgame. Or take a nap.

Al Penwasser said...

But, the damn laptop made me buy it dinner.

Annabelle said...

Dirty boy.

Luv it!

LoneIslander said...

We've been calling it that for years. You aren't the only one.

Thank, Q said...

Man, you are nuts! LOL! I bet being on the road will give you tons of content to post. I'm sure you meet interesting people like this daily. My laptop must be a male.

Mooner Johnson said...

Brandini. I think mine is not only a female gendered device, but a psycho therapist as well. It corrects me more than my therapist prevents me from doing things I want to do, just like a woman.

But mine is missing the love button. Is that an add-on?

FUCK RICK PERRY!

Jazz bazooka said...

ow god this is killer :D

The Frisky Virgin said...

Seriously, this is priceless. Hilarious.

And, now, anytime I see a computer with a red freaking dot in the middle, I'm going to think one thing, laugh out loud, and probably offend the computer's owner. :)

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