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12/8/11

BYU Idaho Bans Skinny Jeans (But Doesn't) - Mormon Hipsters Cry Out in Protest

Skinny Jeans.  Form-fitting denim making hot girls hotter and hipster boys look weird.

And now, subject of another Mormon controversy.

Recently, BYU-Idaho in Rexburg has banned skinny jeans on their campus.

But they haven't.

But they have.

You see, all BYU students have to agree to an Honor Code that tells you how not to dress, how not to act, and what you're not allowed to do while attending their school.  If you break the Honor Code, you're out.  (Example:  BYU Basketball player has sex and gets suspended)

Some rules in the Honor Code include:

  • Use Clean Language (...yeah, fucker...)
  • Abstain from alcohol, tobacco, coffee, tea, and substance abuse  (TEA?)
  • Live a chase and virtuous life (aka: NO SEX)
  • Observe the Dress and Grooming Standards, which includes a ban on form fitting clothing and short skirts.
Posted at the BYU-I Campus
Form Fitting clothing?  Yep, that's skinny jeans.  So, in fact, they've always been a major no-no.

Once again, BYU is in the news because of their Honor Code.  It seems excessive, yes, but if you go to school there, you agree to those rules.

If you don't know what you're getting into, poor Mormon students, IT'S YOUR OWN DAMN FAULT.

(oops, I said 'damn...')

A few months ago, the BYU scandal was a major sports player getting in trouble for (GASP!) having sex.  Now, it's about skinny jeans being vulgar.  I give the major media outlets until February to jump on "STUDENT SUSPENDED FOR HAVING A STARBUCKS CUP IN CLASS" just to keep the Mormon taboo in the news.

To the outside world, these rules look silly.  And, in my opinion, they are.  Go to college and NOT have sex?  Men aren't allowed to have long hair?  Women aren't allowed to have more than one piercing in their ear?  TEA is banned?  TEA?

But these kids know what they're getting into when they enroll at BYU.  And they agree to these silly rules.  They, in essence, should know better.

Sadly, Mormon Hipsters everywhere are up in arms...

Poor mormon hipsters...

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20 witty retorts:

Pickleope said...

"If you can see the shape of your leg, your jeans are too tight." What pants CAN'T you see a leg in? Does that mean everyone has to wear sweats or MC Hammer pants all the time? (You see kids, MC Hammer was a terrible Pop-rapper from...y'know what, nevermind, you're better off not knowing who he was.)
With all that repression, Mormon's are probably FREAKS in bed.

Haven said...

Oh those wacky Mormons, at it again.


I violate pretty much every rule they value as often as possible. Just a personal policy.

A Daft Scots Lass said...

LMFAO @ Pickleope!!!

Zombie said...

Is that a college or a super strict church? lol.

Unknown said...

Between my coffee, piercings and clothing I already have multiple violations and the day has just begun. I'm sure I'll break the language rule within the hour. And people choose to go to this school? Do they know there are other colleges out there?

J.Day said...

A friend of mine attended BYU in Utah for a short while, and she was considered scandalous. She wore short sleeve shirts and *gasp!* tank tops.

The whole thing about "if you can see the shape of your leg, your pants are too tight" deal means you probably have to wear the "mom jeans" or make sure everything you wear is at least one size too big.

And tea is probably banned because of the caffeine. Mormon's aren't supposed to drink anything with caffeine. So, I wouldn't be surprised if that whole Starbucks thing takes off. lol

Underground Dude said...

I have a disdain for hipsters, so I am sure Mormon hipsters are no different. Except they evoke god to scoff at others for violating their trend standards...Shit, this can't end well.

Mooner Wears Tight Jeans said...

Brandini. My personal best offering on this dealie lies in the basic alpha-construct of the word "Mormon"[.]

One too many m's would be my personal observations.

Great post.

Sub Radar (Mike) said...

Reason #39847 not to go to BYU if you're not a strict mormon.

Jeff said...

Cam,

Of couse they choose to go there. They want to get a good education while having a good time. Personally, I’d never go there because I don’t want to be around that many so-called “Mormons,” but I sure wish my college had been more like that. Maybe then I wouldn’t have gotten banned from the dorms after my floormates caused $23,000 in damage, my Freshman year. (And I even reported some of it!)

Like the original poster said, those are the rules. If you want your college experience to be one of repression and slavery, go somewhere else.

Workingdan said...

Those are pretty crappy rules that they expect hormonal college students to follow! No sex?

All I can say is C'MON MAN!

Life, Liberty and Accountability said...

Dont worry guys, they can still dry hump just fine with normal jeans.

D4 said...

... TEA?!

And thee whole Mormon hipsters thing makes me smile every time it's mentioned. I can't even say it without cracking a smile. Mormon hipsters. HAHA!

Out of Barnes said...

The Mormons have nothing against having sex. In fact they encourage people to have sex and making more babies. The only thing they want people to do before having sex is to get married.

Unknown said...

I'm a firm believer of "kicking the tires and going for a test drive" before marriage.

My gf is a prime example of why. She waited until marriage, then found out the sex was horrible. When ANYTHING in a marriage is horrible, the foundation begins to crumble.

Anonymous said...

I woke in a cold sweat after a nightmare that I was suddenly Mormon...what the hell. I'm anti skinny jeans but tea? What the hell did tea ever do to anyone? Ridiculous.

Jessica ( frellathon ) said...

I would last a whole 5 minutes at this school not even that long considering I'm wearing skinny jeans as I type this. Also if I had it my way people would be required to live together for 6 months before being allowed to get married. That should cut out the fakers. And this must be why Utah has the highest porn viewing or downloading rate I know it's one of the two. Secret closet freaks the worst kind! Let your freak flag fly damn it, then at least people know what the hell to expect and not find farm animals , kids or hatchets in your closet.

Unknown said...

Jeff,

$23,000 in damages? And I thought I went to a party school!

I'm not sure where you're getting "repression and slavery" but you do have a point about the their choice. The Honor Code is clearly available for review before one signs up to attend. Therefore, students shouldn't be surprised when they are expected to adhere to that code.

My question was really about the deeper, long term impacts of such a strict code. In my opinion the college experience is about the experience. It isn't just what you learn in class but the life lessons you learn on your own. If the rules of a college are so specific and restrictive that young adults don't have a chance to make a few poor decisions then they miss the opportunity to flounder, to recover, and to learn from those decisions. They may earn a degree but they don't leave with an education.

Choirchick22 said...

@ Pickleope. I go to a Mormon infested college in AZ. Mormons are freaks in bed. Not that I know from experience, but in the girls locker rooms, all the chicks are jumping on the married women asking them about how awesome sex is. It's sort of terrifying.

Anonymous said...

This school has issues all by itself and their dress code is a Fucking joke. i live 30 mins from BYU Idaho and i can't stand being in that town longer than 15 mins. im surrounded by mormons constantly and all their shrewd up-tight asses.its "illegal" for them to do anything! im looked down on continually for having more than one piercing in my ear! Fuck their made up Joseph smith. i sound brutal but just try not being Mormon and living here. Ridiculous!

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