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12/15/11

Don't Commit a Crime in Utah, Lest You End Up HERE

I'm sure a small handful of my readers have been arrested at one point, or know someone who has been subject to the ugly hand of the law.

I myself am lucky.  No criminal record, and I'd like to keep it that way.

Those less fortunate know the feeling of having your mugshot taken.  It's embarrassing, and technically public record.  Which means, if someone wants to take your mugshot and put it in a widely-published paper, they can.

And in Utah, they do.

Maybe it's just to keep the Mormons entertained, and on the righteous path?


Meet Utah's "Jail Mugs" periodical.  For only $1, you can purchase this smut and sift through local arrests and mugshots.

Find your friends!  Look for old school chums!  Are there any coworkers in there?

The publisher takes full advantage of the term "Public record" and sells this mini-newspaper to those who thrive on scandal.  Crimes listed include Impersonating an Officer, multiple DUI charges, some Immigration Enforcement, and petty stuff like Failure to Appear.

Yes, if you forget your court date, they'll haul you in, take your picture, and you'll be immortalized in print.

Featured areas include:

Mugshot of the week, if you're the best looking person to get arrested.

"All Smiles" for those that like to grin as they're being booked.

Best tattoo, usually reserved for those with facial tatts or anything extra-ridiculous.

And my personal favorite:

The Naughty Hotties.

Could you imagine if every major metropolitan area did this?  Utah doesn't sell lottery tickets, and their alcohol is severely watered-down, so I guess they have to entertain themselves in other ways...
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18 witty retorts:

Pickleope said...

As entertaining as it is, that's kind of messed up. Sucks to be you if you're proven innocent because you're already in the mugshot rag. They are really stretching the definition of "hottie".
Best tattoo would have to be the best section because there's nothing more ill-advised and representative of poor life choices than a face tattoo in a mug shot.

Workingdan said...

So if I want to be famous all I have to do is get arrested in Utah? Sweet!

What's one last time in the slammer going to hurt!?

sugar-free-thoughts.com said...

Fucking Utah. That's all I've got.

Autumnforest said...

Utah, really? I'm rather surprised they'd find that so titillating, but then they probably find the word "titillating," titillating..

LogAllot.com said...

LMAO! That is so cold, but hella funny. Talk about exploitation at its best. As long as people buy the paper, they will keep printing it.

Now if they did that in California for celebrities, I am sure it would be a "best seller". Now how pathetic is that? Wow, nothing like entertainment, but if you do the crime, you do the time.

According to Jewels said...

Oh my goodness! That is insane but hilarious! I kind of wish they did have something like that here. haha.

The Angry Vegetarian said...

I'd actually buy that for a dollar.

after3 said...

I guess you have to wear your shame. a3

Vapid Vixen said...

Sadly, we finally realized why Angie hadn't shown up to work all week and her supervisor wasn't talking. DUI apparently. But hey, the good news was she made the Hotties page. She had to have felt pretty good about that.

She was fired shortly after that.

D4 said...

Get arrested? What? You're supposed to not get caught, man. What's wrong with these people?

Anyway. Easy way to make a buck.

Lady Estrogen said...

Oh my god... that's pretty awesome. Would I have made it into that paper? Hummm... I'll let you decide.

Wow, that was awkward said...

There used to be a JohnTV channel in Denver. It showed the mugshots of guys soliciting prostitutes. The things people will do to get on television!

Melanie said...

I might be entertained by that for a minute, but really?

Jessica ( frellathon ) said...

Utah the state with the highest porn downloading lol ah fun day when they show up for judgement.

Michael said...

Utah is officially off my states to visit list. Watered down alcohol? That's a no-go for me.

Bart said...

lol why would anyone want to pay for these? just get too drunk to move and you'll get one for free

Thank, Q said...

We have one of those publications here called "Mug Shots" except it tends to have photos of weird-looking people in it. Crazy tattoos or implants and stuff. I question the validity of the mag since the photos are so outrageous, but then again, there are some weird people in the world.

LadyNgo said...

LMFAO...they have a publication like that in Tampa too. I remember when we found out a friend of ours had gotten arrested we went searching for her mugshot. too funny

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