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12/29/11

Bootylicious Countdown - My Top 10 Butt-Related Songs (Watch Yo'Self)

I like butts.  I cannot lie.

In fact, most people appreciate a good backside.  Even our President from time to time has to appreciate "Dat Ass" when he sees a good one.

Sorry.  It's not to be offensive.  We're just showing our appreciation.

Throughout the ages people have appreciated a nice rump.  In fact, I'd like to present a list of ten (plus one) songs made in honor of the booty.

You may argue with the ranking, but there's no argue about the theme.  It's time to get it right, and get it tight.

#10 - Big Bottoms by Spinal Tap.  When they see a fine ass, they turn it to 11.  Best Lyric:  "My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo / I wanna sink her with my pink torpedo..."


#9 - Ms New Booty by Bubba Sparxxx.  Best infomercial ever?  Best infomercial ever.  And half the song is whispering.  Bonus.


#8 - The Thong Song by Sisquo.  Dumps like a truck. Thongs were mildly popular in the 90's, but really took off because of this song.  Suddenly girls everywhere were wearing thongs, thanks in part to this platinum-haired man.  Thank you, Sisquo.  Thank you.


#7 - Shake Ya Ass by Mystikal.  Mostly because Mystikal is badass, but his lyrics started a revolution of girls getting freakier and freakier in clubs.  We can probably thank this man for playing a part in making the zillions of Girls Gone Wild DVD's.


#6 - Dazzey Duks by Duice.  One hit wonder, yes.  But what a hit.  I'd hit it.


#5 - Rump Shaker by Wreckx-n-Effect.  The quintessential Rump-shaking song.  Perfect beat, perfect tempo.  You want a girl to shake their rump?  Play this song.


#4 - Face Down, Ass Up by 2 Live Crew.  True, not their #1 hit, but 2 Live Crew's song about da butt is fantastic.  Cuz that's the way I like to fuck... and cuz they performed Live on the Phil Donahue show in front of an audience of mostly old white people...


#3 - The Shocker by Warner Drive.  I almost put this at #1, but I knew it would stir up controversy.  If you haven't had the pleasure of listening to this song, you really really need to.


#2 - Baby Got Back by Sir-Mix-A-Lot.  No, not the #1, but a close #2.  This song put big butts on the map in the 90's, and is still on 86% of iPods worldwide.  It's.  That.  Awesome.

FUN FACT!  This song is the first musical purchase I ever made.  I purchased the cassette single when I was in Junior High, and lip-synced to this song until the tape finally wore itself out...



#1 - Fat Bottomed Girls by Queen.  Why #1?  Because butts are so damn powerful, even a gay man like Freddie Mercury still loves them.  Besides.  Queen was lovin on butts before lovin on butts was cool.  That makes them ass-hipsters, and a strong #1.  GET ON YOUR BIKES AND RIDE!



Honorable Mention:  It Must Be Jelly (Cuz Jam Don't Shake Like That) by Glenn Miller.  Back in the 1930's, people were still singin about the booty.  Here's an old swing ditty that deserves recognition.  Enjoy!


Did I not get it right?  Did I miss a song that deserves recognition?  Do you like da butt?  Feel free to chime in!

Indeed...  indeed.
Please Share it! :)

15 witty retorts:

Zombie said...

SO glad to see that Queen made the top spot. Kudos sir! :D

Pickleope said...

This is the best year-end countdown I've seen. You may have forgotten LL Cool J's "Big Ole Butt" or my favorite (and could be argued isn't solely dedicated to booty) A Tribe Called Quest's "Bonita Applebum" and honorable mention to the only lady-generated song, Destiny's Child singing "Bootylicious".

Al Penwasser said...

Of course the Prez appreciates a smokin' backside. Look at Michelle....
Baby's got back.
Great list.

Adsila said...

I wasn't aware there were so many song honoring the butt. Thumbs up to number 1.

Random Girl said...

Excellent end of year list Brandon! As someone that has recently worked my way into having an ass for the first time, I am really struck by the amount of attention said ass has been getting. Makes me wish I had hit the lunges and squats so hard much earlier in my life...I had no idea that the booty pop could be such a social benefit....but it totally is

Workingdan said...

It's all about the ass isn't it? If it ain't the ass then it must be the boobs!

Tony Van Helsing said...

'Kiss my arse I come from Leeds
My father was a tinker.'
Bet you haven't heard that one.

Thank, Q said...

Best countdown ever. Nice picks. I have some that come to mind, but you've probably never heard of them. Some of the most exploitative videos are from the worst artists. I guess they have to do something to get people to pay attention to them.

Haven said...

You have Sir Mix-a-Lot and Queens. As far as I'm concerned you have everything you need right there! Awesome.

Josie said...

Laffy Taffy by D4L is my personal favorite.

The Reckmonster said...

OH MAH GAWD...a list paying tribute to mah back yard!

I'm sorry, even though I love your list, my ALL TIME favorite booty song is "Pull Over" by Trina featuring Trick Daddy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wxnv2vtyFpk

(warning: it's the explicit version - with the lyrics printed out)

And my all time favorite lyric - my own person "motto," if you will:

"Ain't nann hoe got more booty in the butt"

I know wayyyyy too many booty songs, but that's because I used to live in South Florida - and you know that's some supah dupah durrrrtttty south down there. (hence my love for Trina and Trick)

D4 said...

And not a SINGLE problem with this list. It's a fine list, I do enjoy it so!

Nuker Zero said...

I did not expect this.

Pleasantly surprised.

Sandra said...

The Thong Song just had me craving strobe lights and a vodka/grapefruit juice. I was suddenly transported to a sleazy bar in 2001.

Melanie said...

Great list! Happy New Year Ass Man!

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