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2/8/11

Observations: The Coffee Culture

I am writing this from one of the few good places in town to get coffee.

This place is called The Villa.  It's an independently owned coffee shop in the middle of downtown.  We have a couple of Starbucks in town, and another coffee shop inside a Music/Rental shop, but this place has the best coffee at the best price.



Now, every town I have ever lived in had different types of groups at each coffee shop.  This one would be the hipster hangout, and that one would be where all the older folks went.  Because the choices in this town are so limited, EVERYONE comes to The Villa.

Which makes this place perfect for me to set up camp and type.  PEOPLE-WATCHING TIME!!!

As you can guess.  Coffee + Wi-fi = Great place to hang out and bring your laptop.  There is no shortage of computers here.

We have one gentleman in his late 20's who has had too many refills on his latte and is practically shaking his laptop to death.  It's still early, I wonder if he has had breakfast?  The way he is jittering, his breakfast was a double-mocha espresso and a line of coke...

Another guy, slightly younger, has set himself up in the corner, with his back to a wall.  He doesn't want ANYONE to see his screen, and when people walk by he always stops what he's doing and looks at them nervously.  I smell a porn-surfer.  The bad news for him, though, is that he is kind of on the pathway to the restroom, so he gets interrupted a lot by walkers-by.  It's really hard to jerk off when you have so many interruptions.  Poor dude.

And of course, we have the hipsters.  No cool coffee shop is a true establishment without a population of hipsters hanging out.

I'm hip!  I'm with it!  I'm groovy like a movie!  Flavor-flav!!!
My favorite is the Old Hipster, who is sitting at the bar, flipping through his iPad, and trying to fit in with the scene.  Never mind he is in his 40's, and trying way too hard.  I mean, if you looked up the term 'hipster' in wikipedia, and you tried to copy the description to perfection, you'd be this guy.

I have seen him try to strike up conversations with kids 15 years younger than him, trying to 'get in with the cool kids' and fail miserably.  Over and over.  And over.

Another older gent, leaning back in his chair and just observing everyone with a sense of authority.  It's like he's the hall monitor, and his job is to make sure noone gets too loud or out of place.  He's glared once or twice at the 20-somethings who are doing what sounds-to-be Nursing school homework.  Apparently study groups aren't allowed in his den.

He's sipped that cup about 164 times in the last 5 minutes.  How is there still coffee in there?  Or is it all just an act?

Is there a portal at the bottom of the cup, with the Coffee Dimension on the other side?  Millions of java-beans worshiping him as their God, and sacrificing themselves to keep their sipping, glaring deity happy?

This girl is my absolute favorite.  I was surprised to find this picture online, because it fit her so damn well.  Glasses with no lenses in them, just to look cool.  Knit stocking cap and a huge puffy scarf on, and talking to her friend.  If only she really had the mustache coffee cup I would totally laugh my ass off.  They're across the room from me, so I really can't hear the conversation really well, but whenever scarf girl gets excited it's:

"I KNOW, RIGHT?"

"THAT'S TOOOOOOTALLY TRUE!"

"CHA!  I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE SAID THAT!"

She has been glared at by the Super Sipper so many times I'm surprised she hasn't given him whiplash.

But there he sits, sip sip sip...

Don't fuck with the Coffee Police, missy...

Time for me to jet.  Since I'm not a part of any of the social circles in this habitat, it's time for me to escape before this place goes any more primal.  Until next time!

Oh, and by the way, I ordered tea.  Ha-HA!!
Please Share it! :)

50 witty retorts:

bbmike15 said...

will be following
funny post even tho im about to get some starbucks... >_>

ironrager said...

What's funny is work at a coffee shop, so true. so true.

Zoe! said...

I love caffeine but I just hate how the hipster culture has latched on to coffee :<

Araita said...

I just love your people observating entries! Keep on the good work!

gekomaster said...

<3 space ghost, nice story!

Lost.in.Idaho said...

bbmike, there's nothing wrong with starbucks at all. I'm a big bux fan, but the baristas at the local places don't seem to know what they're doing. In town, if you want a damn good cup of coffee, and a pretty cool atmosphere, the villa is the place to go.

The.Blogger said...

Man i love starbucks

Autumnforest said...

I swear you could be in my trendy neighborhood's Barnes & Noble Starbucks. The characters are universal. Perhaps it's like The Truman Show and they're paid actors to make the shop look hip? Hee hee. Great post! Love your blog!

Twisted said...

Love the observations of people.

Good post, funny as shit.

Try the coffee shop at a Barnes and Noble or other book stores. It gets even worse.

rickysha said...

I worked at a Tim Hortons (Canada's version of Dunkin' Donuts you could say) and I caught a dude jerking off watching porn on his netbook. He was drink a latte at the same time. This post reminded me of that awkward moment, it still haunts me in my sleep lol.

Lost.in.Idaho said...

Until i discovered this little place, the local B&N was my coffee hangout. There's a music shop called Hastings that has an inside coffee area as well, but it's always empty. When I want silence, that's the place to go, but I like people-watching too much.

lifes a carnival said...

Hm... I would've thought that coffee is too mainstream for hipsters.

This post provided much amusement haha ^_^

Tasty said...

Lost you had me laughing throughout the ENTIRE post. Funniest thing I've read yet today. Keep up the awesomeness.

@Autumnforest
I lol'd so hard at the Truman reference.. it could fucking be.

Mr. Hate said...

It's what white people like! hahaha

Bass-blog said...

coffee is the best ever, i need to buy a new mug for my desk

-DO- said...

thaha funny story *sip*sip*

Johnny Drama said...

haha very funny, love it

Okko said...

so that'd make you the creep with his laptop glancing at people over the screen und chuckling ...glancing again and writing down notes?

Lost.in.Idaho said...

lol exactly!

Super Bloggerman, coming soon to a java-establishment near you!!!

Linksss said...

yea I heard the ceo of starbucks say he was really trying to sell an atmosphere, not the coffee and that is why it was so successful. If a small shop can make a great atmosphere it will be enjoyable

Fascist for Fashion said...

I would chug a bunch of coffee at this place then beat the shit out of these kids and break their iPads

donga5000 said...

Thats awesome. haha, it's like a nature show.

Moxy said...

Dude supersiper just has a cup with the bottom extending into a dimension full of coffee.

efren said...

If I had a laptop I would be they guy surfing porn.

teamswatsticker said...

sipping slow. lmao that shit was funy baaa

Tristie said...

Lmao. Space Ghosts <33333333

Bonzo said...

mustache coffee mug! =3

Jessica in Wonderland said...

Space ghost coast to coast, throwing hipsters in lava since 1955.

L. T. Fawkes said...

Dude. Like, far out. Felt like I was, like, there.

Chris said...

Batman: "Alfred, bring me moar coffeeeee!!!"

Zennith said...

The starbucks near me is where all the hipsters and druggies hang out. They're so pretentious lol

fadedline17 said...

You're a great observer/story teller. I felt like I was sitting there right with you dude. Great image use! :D

seankenny08 said...

My sis is the manager at a starbucks So thats where I spend all my time lol. Free drinks 24/7

LacedNFitted said...

Haha thats pretty funny. space ghost!

May said...

Hahahah, isn't people-watching fun? =D

pv said...

you know what, ima go make me some coffee

Doc_Waffles said...

haha love coffee, used to work at starbucks...damn hipsters.

The Almighty Lewis said...

Sounds like every coffee house I've ever been to, sadly enough.

Haezer said...

Lovely post!

Frosty said...

I work in a starbucks so this is all so very true, it's hilarious

L.S.B said...

Loved this! haha. so true. :')

The Pokemon Master-er said...

I don't even like coffee :(

squatlo said...

I'm so beyond being "hip" I've only been in one Starbucks in my life, thought their coffee sucked and I had to pay $5 to taste a cardboard cup. What am I missing?

sigh...

Lynn | TOAR said...

LMAO! wow, I love this post.. lol "sip sip sip" and FLAVOR FLAV! OMG.

Thank, Q said...

Man, the Space Ghost sipping his coffee is too funny! People watching is my favorite past time and you doing it in your blog post is priceless! Makes me want to start visiting coffee shops and drinking a cup of joe.

EmDottie said...

Space Ghost is killing me softly.
Where I'm from there has to be a group of gay guys or else the place isn't cool enough.

Lost.in.Idaho said...

@Em: the problem here is the Religious right-wingers keep the gay population in the closet. I have a few gay friends up here but they try not to be too obvious. You think I see scorn for being from Cali? Or not being a regular church goer? If I were homosexual too, I'd have to know kung fu.

Lady Estrogen said...

I've just decided my favorite line is Groovy like a Movie. I've gotta work that into a conversation today.. and every day after that!!

Chunky Mama said...

Hehe
This was a fun read. :)
Happy weekend!

theTsaritsa said...

Great post! Coffee shops are an interesting microcosm.

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