I was at the local office supply retail outlet center place, and I had a few things to do. Make copies, FedEx out my ka-busted laptop, etc. I get to the copy/print center and I wait. And wait.
Finally this dude comes out to help me. He's about 6 feet tall, 6 feet around, and looks like the definition of a basement-dwelling nerd.
- Scraggly neck-beard goin on...
- Thick glasses, out of breath, wheezes and snorts a lot
- Had a pin on his vest that said "Ask me about my cleric"
It took him nearly 10 minutes to finish whatever he was doing in the back (probably playing WoW) to come out and help me. I get my copies, package my laptop to ship, and keep waiting for him to call me a "noob" or challenge me to a duel...
He had this interesting way of talking too. Every sentence was ended with a grunt or sigh, like he was verbalizing his punctuation marks...
"Did you need these in black and white or in color, heh?"
"What is the destination zip code for this package, fmeh?"
"That will be $42.01 sir... huph."
Every. Single. Time.
I was tempted to agitate him to see if his punctuation grunts would get louder if I angered him...
"NO, sir... we do NOT take Staples rewards cards, HURF!" and so on.
The conversation lasted about 10 minutes all in all, and it took every ounce of my strength not to chuckle or laugh or mock him (fmeh...). I wonder if he just takes in too much air when he breathes (heef) and needs to let it out at the end of the sentence (foop) or whenever phrasing permits (yowm)?
|meep meep meep...|
All I know is I want to keep going back. I need to record this guy and play it for you, so you can hear it for yourself. Imagine actually playing Dungeons and Dragons with this dude for hours on end, listening to his grunts and exclamations...
"A-HA! (swif) My magic missles damage your druid for 20 points! (whooph) Aren't I a badass, (heef)?"
Or, imagine if this dude ever gets laid... (sorry ladies, for putting that mental image into your brain)