Sometime about a month ago, out sweet-old-lady of a next door neighbor moved out and her son (or son in law?? not quite sure) moved in. According to our new "friend," she went chasing her boyfriend to Arizona, or Alabama, or Alaska (one of those pesky 'A' states...)
So she's out, he's in. But he didn't come alone, he had a friend.
A female friend, but not in the way you think.
|hurrrrrrr... herp herp derp...|
Maggie is more than just your average pug. Mostly because she weighs about 3 times more than the average pug. Imagine a furry walking barrel with derp-eyes, a 6-pack of hot dogs for a neck, and a wheeze that sounds like she's gargling a pair of balls while trying to talk...
And Mags is the ice-breaker of the bunch. My girlfriend or I get home, and we are greeted by a snarling, snorting barking little dog.
That's like the doorbell for our neighbor friend. He comes walking up, and starts a conversation about anything and everything.
"I had a girlfriend once. She didn't like my dog, so she had to go..." (no, I'm not making this one up)
"Washing your car, eh? Well, if Maggie gets on your nerves, you can go ahead and squirt her..." (What about you? Can I turn the hose on you?)
He has an anecdote for any subject you can think of, and he will talk to you until you (forcibly) end the conversation. The dude doesn't take a hint either. We try not to socialize with him, we don't reciprocate in the conversations, and we try to end things as quickly as possible.
Yet he keeps on talking. And keeps on smiling.
Maybe we're the only friends he has?