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3/27/12

Have You Seen The Masturbating Grass Monster?


Clorox 2 Grass Stain Monster Masturbating Caught Awkward Fap
Yes, you saw right.  Clorox bleach will help defend you against masturbating grass-monsters, but the bleach won't take the image away...

The first time I saw this commercial, I was stunned.  A patch of grass was caught rubbing one out into some clothes... gets caught, rubs it a few more times, then runs away.

And I wasn't the only one amused by this.

Comments on the youtube video include:

"It's like when your mom catches you and you have no choice but to finish"


"So... you wanna cuddle or what?"


"Lock eyes and finish... like a boss"


"So close, but yet so far"


"I TOLD YOU TO KNOCK FIRST!!1!"

"I don't know much about grass stain anatomy but Im pretty sure that he is not jacking off unless, of course, he has genitalia under his chin. This little grass stain is not innocent but come on. He is obviously not jacking off and anyone who watches this and sees that needs to get their mind out of the gutter."

"It's beating off in to a kid's shirt! What is he, Catholic?"

"The grass monster was about to make another stain... a hot liquid stain..."


and much more...

Some argued that this little guy wasn't really masturbating, but most thought he was.  Probably the guys, since they recognize the grunting, the look when you get caught, and the reluctance to finish anyway (I mean, if you're close...).

What do you think?  Is this a 'dirty' commercial (ha! pun!) or are people reading too much into it?

And.... can you think of anything better to say that hasn't already been said?

Please leave a comment below.  Either sharing your opinion or leaving a funny comment (or both).
Please Share it! :)

31 witty retorts:

Bozo said...

Ha! I don't care what it's meant to be - in my mind it's definitely masturbation lol... that is the best commercial I've seen in a long time. So funny! I don't have any comments to add to the already brilliant ones that you've posted... ahhh... I think I need to watch it again.

Gia said...

Hahhahahahah and the first comment was absolutely funniest! That's great.

Pickleope said...

He was totally masturbating. And it's not unintentional either. It's just innocent enough for them not to get in trouble with censors, but dirty enough to get people talking about the commercial. If it wasn't spanking, it would be rubbing the shirt in its head.
Would he spray fertilizer? Would he think of a mowing as a circumcision?

Katsidhe said...

I just showed my mother (we have an awesome relationship like that where I can show her obscene shit and she accepts it) and, granted that she's nearly as warped as I am, but she even said that he was flogging the one-eyed snake.

Wow. Just wow.

Ash-Matic said...

Yep.
Definitely mas-turf-bating.

Workingdan said...

Give that grass a piece of ass! That will put an end to its jerking off!

Or give it a taste of its own medicine! Just make sure it's not crab grass when you do it!

Zombie said...

oh yeah, you know he was jerking hit little grass blades. thats when you just throw the shirt out, not wash it.

The Host said...

Ah, man. Now I need bleach for my eyes. It's almost as bad as the Tums ad with the corn dog. Almost, but not quite.

Random Girl said...

Oh I don't think you can deny the reference on this commercial....naughty naughty Clorox!

Lady Estrogen said...

OK, so he is MEANT to be just rubbing grass stains into the clothes... right?

The problem, or rather, fun thing is that we're all perverts.

CrazyTragicAlmostMagic said...

I love this commercial. When I first watched it I'm thinking here's some nice grass trying to dirty the clean clothes again. BUT... this is exactly the point of advertising, the subliminal messages.

And this, I have to say, is a great one!

The Empress said...

Oh, it is doing what it looks like it's' doing.

I mean. Come on.

The backview of the head bobbing up and down, the mother's dismayed smirk.

IT"S ALL RIGHT THERE.

The Beans said...

I must admit, I didn't make the masturbatory connection until I read this post. Oh, my poor eyes...

-Barb the French Bean

The Simple Dude said...

It's beyond visual... think about it, the result of his masturbating and the bleach both share a common scent.

Gross? Sure. But you can't deny it's subliminal on multiple levels.

SD

Youngman Brown said...

At least he had the wherewithal to leave out the front door- oh wait.

Just Keepin It Real, Folks! said...

SO FUNNY!!!!! Thank God my teenager doesn't leave green stains when he spanks his monkey or I would be buying stock in Clorox.

Sweety Darlin said...

Female here,

Comment from the discovering individual. Seriously you couldn't close or lock the freakin door? I do not want to see your junk! I can't unsee that now you perv! I will use this against you for all time now you realize that right?

Yes it is a dirty commercial, and it's dirty too. LOL I know I suck LOL gutter brain!

www.sweetydarlin.blogspot.com

Brandon Lostinidaho said...

I want to know why the monster just doesn't use a tube sock like the rest of---

...I mean... It's so disgusting, what he's doing!!

Brea said...

I can't decide if my brain is that dirty of if it was the power of suggestion from your post. What I do know is that rather than being a pissed off mom (like i probably should be) I smirked, amused at the thought that the marketing guys didn't catch that...or they did.

Brandon Lostinidaho said...

As someone in marketing who has designed tongue-in-cheek campaigns like this before, I can assure you we know EXACTLY what we're doing... :)

Tony Van Helsing said...

After watching this I've just gone outside and had a fight with my lawn, the dirty bastard.

Annabelle said...

"Lock eyes and finish... like a boss"

is my favorite

meandmythinkingcap said...

"Keep the bush trimmed and smooth, else hand the towel to handle the itch bitch"

Pish Posh said...

The comments to this and your post are so funny :)

And... now I'll never see grass stains the same way!

Shutterbug said...

LOL! sometimes i wonder where you find all of these crazy things! ;)

D4 said...

I'm glad the commercial exists. It made me laugh heartily the first time, and it will continue to bring a smile to my face. Isn't that the idea? I think so!

Jira said...

So....... what's masturbation? ;)

THE SARCASM GODDESS said...

I cannot think of anything better, but that is one perverted piece of grass.

Magaly Guerrero said...

I think her face made me laugh more than the rubbing. Hm, I wonder if the stain smelled like bleach before it was treated ;-D

Thank, Q said...

"Nothing like a nice piece of grass..."

Wouldn't this have been a good commercial for Shout?

DJrelAt7 said...

I wonder if this commercial had a panel of people that said similar comments, and they went forward with it because it was memorable....I know after watching it if I have grass stains I'm going to reach for Clorox LOL

Stopping by from FBF on Chasing Joy

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