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3/5/12

Liberal Brainwashing: Hey Kids, Sniff Markers!!!

This post is a satire, so deal with it.

As a child, I had a pack of scented markers.  I remember the fun scents:  Grape, Cherry, Green Apple, Orange, and...

**SNIIIIIFFFFFFF**   Aaaaaahhhh...

...

Wait, what was I saying?

As I grew older, I was confused by the existence of scented markers.  You see government ads steering kids from inhalants like canned air, spray paint, and markers.

From one such government site:

click to enlarge
So, big business makes these markers for you to sniff, killing brain-cells.  The government tells you not to sniff such things, but if they sanction the business it would create a political outrage.

What's a kid to do?  Side with the corporations or the government overlord?

Must... watch... Storage Wars....  YUUUUUP...
It is my belief that these markers are keeping society stupid.  Kill the brain cells, and don't worry about people thinking for themselves.

These markers create an army of mindless drones, with grape-scented purple mustaches.  The markers are why so many vote along political lines without thought or logic.

These markers may very well be why Mitt Romney is a presidential front-runner...

One advantage to a marker-high is it mellows you out.  I had a former boss that would sniff sharpies from time to time, and when you saw that tell-tale dot under his nose, it was going to be a good day...

So.... denizens of the internet.  Are you pro-or-anti markers??
Please Share it! :)

22 witty retorts:

Lady Estrogen said...

I frigging LOVED the red cinnamon smelling marker. I'd huff that thing for ages.

That might explain things......

Jessica ( frellathon ) said...

Sniff it, sniff it I say!!!

Zombie said...

Oh god I used to huff those things like there was no tomorrow.

Bozo said...

If something smells as good as that purple grape marker... it would be a sin not to sniff it! My friend has a set of them and I never missed a chance to take a sniff!

Pickleope said...

More of a glue, helium, and computer cleaner inhaler myself. But I judge not your choice of markers. It's like preferring cognac over beer (you choose which is which).

Michael said...

Sniff away! Btw, are these markers still available? I need a good huffing.

Haven said...

I recall owning these as a kid, but I didn't particularly like them. Perhaps my sense of smell just isn't that developed. I do distinctly remember the cherry scented one, and it was a bit, off.

JJ said...

Um... I STILL have a pack of those in my desk drawer. Grape helps me get through the day. Don't judge.

A Beer for the Shower said...

My favorite was always the cherry marker. It didn't smell like real cherries, but come on, even as a kid I knew that stuff was as far away from 'real' as you could possibly get.

Orang3 said...

wow, I didn't know those exist

Hey Monkey Butt said...

I don't know why, but every time I take the lid off my sharpies or dry erase markers. I have to sniff them. Oh gawd Im one of them aren't I?

the Tsaritsa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
the Tsaritsa said...

I totally remember Mr. Sketch-- all the kids in my third grade class would fight over the grape scented marker.

I've never sniffed a Sharpie because I feel like it would damage too many brain cells. Sniffing the ink stamp in my office though because it smells like band-aids? Yes, I'm going to keep sniffin.

Remember scratch and sniff stickers. Maybe we found the reason why our country is lagging behind in math and science...

Just Keepin It Real, Folks! said...

I'm a sucker for the plain old black marker scent. Something about that smell is just MMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMM GOOD to me. I also like the scented colored pencils.

Leon Kennedy said...

sniffing the mr scent markers as a kid led me to be a chem major, where you can smell all the glorious solvents you want. And benzene actually has quite a pleasant smell... sort of like cherry

Alice X said...

I have never had the privilege of using these scented markers. I used the classic crayon, it smelt waxy and tasted waxy too.

G said...

I'd never see these before...what a concept to really encourage substance abuse. Just like candy cigarettes

Zyu said...

Never really like marker smells, probably because of the fact that it usually smells like crap.

Shockgrubz said...

I couldn't reach the sharpies, so I did the next best thing with my collection of gasoline-scented scratch and sniff stickers.

Liberal Bias  said...

It feels great to drop by here on your site. Lots of information i have gathered here. Thanks for providing!

Random Girl said...

Ok, so obviously Liberal Bias is a spam bot,,, he/she is not nearly clever or snarky enough to post here Idaho!! Banishment is the only answer.
As for the markers, I think the scented markers were the only thing that got me through third grade. I love the smell of black permanent marker, not the sharpies but the big ones you use for marking boxes when you move. Yeah, that one...

Anonymous said...

The color was brown. Red was the cherry scented marker.

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