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3/15/11

Wash Your Hands, Idaho!

I grew out of this phase when I was about 15.  And I don’t know if this is a guy-only thing, or if women in Idaho are guilty of the same crime.  Either way, I’m kind of mortified.

Why don’t people wash their hands after using the restroom

Washing Hands.
Not just for employees anymore...


Now, as you’ve gathered from some previous posts, I’m a pretty keen observer.  Sometimes I’m as dense as they get, and don’t see things in front of my face, but usually I’m fairly sharp.

My girlfriend calls this an understatement.  When we were living hundreds of miles apart from each other, we would send “miss you” pics of each other, what we were doing, etc.  Now, she’s a gorgeous sight to behold, but I’d always look at the whole picture.  When I point things out in the background, she sighs.  

Typical me.

Back to the handwashing.  I would say at least a dozen times in the past week or so, I have been in public restrooms, either at work, at a mall, department store, etc.  On MULTIPLE occasions, I have noticed people going straight from the urinal/stall to the exit door.

BLARGH!

When I was 13, I went through this phase where I thought my junk was cleaner than everything else, so I would wash my hands BEFORE taking a leak.  After all, I’ve touched doors, other people, dirt, etc.  I don’t want that crap on my manhood!

It took a while before I realized that my hands were going from my tubesnake to another’s hand when I shook hands.  That’s not fair to the other people.  And if put in the other person’s shoes, I don’t want your meat-sweat on my hands…

So I started washing before and after.  Paranoid much?

My gf’s lil bro is 14.  He and his friends are going through this phase now.  Hands never get washed.  You hear a flush, no running water, and 2 seconds later he's walking out of the restroom.  Ugh.  

Yet he doesn't understand why I don’t want any chips from the same bag he just had his grubby hands in… or why, when we sit down for dinner together, that I pass the food to him LAST.

Kids & Dirty Hands.  It's like Peanut Butter & Jelly.
They just go together.

Teens I can understand.  They’re not that bright.  They’re children after all.  We hope they grow up before they’re on their own.  Hand washing, teeth brushing, showering on a regular basis…  (Speaking of... dude.  If you're reading this, spend more time soaping up your pits and feet.  That Axe BS you use isn't helping.  At all.)

But adults?  I’ve seen numerous grown men do this.  Recently.  And often.  Some of them I shook their hands while interviewing for this job.  Some of them I have seen in the mall, go straight from the unwashed restroom to picking up their small children.

The more I think about it, the more I want to become one of those paranoid OCD people that carry around hand sanitizer in my pocket and go through a bottle a day…

I overheard one guy at a gas station use the phrase “God made dirt, and dirt don’t hurt.”  He was wearing a pair of 20 year old overalls, and smelled like he hasn’t bathed since 2009.  I’m sorry dude, but I don’t take hygiene advice from someone who smells like mud-butt and is missing half their teeth.

*Insert Banjo Music Here*

When I was in California, I lived in “The Inland Empire,” commonly known as the armpit of SoCal.  I’m used to grungy people to an extent.  But Idaho… sheesh… this is by far the dirtiest place I’ve ever lived.

If you come to visit Idaho as a tourist (WHY?  You poor fool…) be sure to wash your hands often.  You don’t know where we’ve been, after all…
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34 witty retorts:

Alphabeta said...

I hate seeing people not wash their hands. Worse still is when you have to share food/snacks with them.

Trapper said...

I wash my hands like a nazi! Morning to my favorite Idaho blogger!

D4 said...

I wouldn't really consider myself OCD, but if I shake someones hand, knowing they probably didn't wash it, I tend to try to go off and wash mine. Else I'll just feel dirty all day.

Kicking Rocks said...

This is completely true. This happens all the time in college. When I have the opportunity, I wash before and after too because I start thinking, what if my friend didn't wash his hands and then i'm touching my manhood with his manhood sweat, that would be gay...anyway...it's a nuisance that people don't wash their hands after going to the restrooms. Many people then ask themselves why they get sick often or why they are sick.....ughh.. Great Post!

Random Girl said...

Eww and Ewwww! I see it to, even in the ladies room. It skeezes me out to now end. I have hand sanitizer in every logical place, car, purse, etc just to be on the safe side. It's not that hard folks, really!

TheHarvester said...

LOL the last picture. hahaha i dont want to meet this dude in real life

Raw said...

I hardly ever wash my hands =X
It's one of those things that could bother you all day long if you worry about it.
Your hands are never clean, nothing is.

Jung said...

I agree, this happens way too much.

LilPixi said...

Okay, WHY did I get you confused with someone else's blog I had started following the EXACT same day & thought you were a mother, I seriously don't know, but I deeply apologize for my mistake. lmao. It hit me when I got to "manhood" & "my gf" & saw you were into sports & video games. Seriously, SOLELY my mistake & ADD.

Dude, I'm crazy about this public restroom thing. I carry multiple bottles of hand sanitizer, etc..

rinns said...

Tubesnake hands. The worst kind if you ask me!

Leila said...

My four year old nephew is going through that phase. When he goes "wee wee" he just points his little fella in the toilet and puts his hands in his pocket. babysitting can open you up to the grossest things ever.

kitkat said...

hahaha! the last pic is crazy :p
lol @ "God made dirt and dirt dnt kill". honestly, the more u tlk bout idaho, the more i wnt to visit,lool!

squatlo said...

"Didn't your father teach you to wash your hands after you use the bathroom?"

"No... but he did teach me not to piss on my fingers."

Bobby said...

I never saw the point of washing my hands after... especially since it's my own dick I'm dealing with.

Laughing Vault said...

i must wash hands. when i skip washing i feel wierd

mac-and-me said...

i always wash my hands!

Venus said...

very true... hahaha

Tony Van Helsing said...

I used to go in a pub after work which had pickeld onions and peanuts in snack bowls on the bar. Me and my workmates used to eat these with oil covered hands and you can bet we didn't wash our hands after peeing. How times change.

Christophe said...

My junk sure as hell isn't dirty, but I NEVER feel clean leaving the bathroom without washing my hands. Its fucking gross not to.

elexerdelex said...

Hahaha I always wash my hands ^^
But then again I know some people who don't and the food does not taste worse ^^
But then again I only accept chocolate from filthy hands....

Astronomy Pirate said...

HA, I remember going through that phase as well, I'm pretty good about my hands now. Sometimes I'll just wash them because, or before dinner. Who knows how dirty my keyboard is, and then putting my hands near my mouth? Ick.

becca said...

thank goodness that my son know enough to wash his hands and he is only 10

Chris said...

There's only two things that come out from Idaho. Potatoes and....and you!

Tasty said...

LOL I hear you man. I live on the east coast and sometimes I'm the only one in the bathroom who washes their hands.

And what's funny is that people think there is something wrong with YOU. I use the bathroom, I wash my hands. I am about to prepare food, I wash my hands.

I mean, if you can, then why not?

~Fabi said...

That's awesome.

The Reckmonster said...

It ain't just Idaho, dear! There are nasty mo-fos all over these United States!! I am CONSTANTLY on my son to wash his damned hands - he'll try to sneak out of the bathroom after dropping a deuce, and I swear, when I don't hear that water running, I'm screaming like a banshee!!! I work in a hospital, so I'm constantly washing my hands (or using hand sanitizer) all day long...I do NOT want to catch the cooties floating around that place!

THUNDERCAT832 said...

I've seen people I work with say they're going to take a shit and come back making food with dry ass hands! That's some nasty shit...but since I've seen more than a handful of ass hole customers, I won't complain if they get a lump of shit in their scrambled eggs ;)

Eric P said...

That's just disgusting. The fact that they've just touched those flushing knobs, the door knob, their penis, and other things without washing their hands is just disgusting!

On My Soapbox said...

I've seen women do this, too! It is SO gross. Whenever I have to use a bathroom that isn't in my house, I open the "out" door with either a paper towel or my elbow. What ever happened to common hygiene, anyway?

Araita said...

I think I should wash my hand more often...

Aaron M. Gipson said...

I grew up in South Florida where the ethnic diversity was so rich that the bacteria and viruses from all over the Caribbean and Latin America all congregated and created their own new home.

As a result you'd think that people would pay attention to cleanliness, but no. You pretty much had to carry around your own hand sanitizer lest you get any number of parasitical infections.

I really like your writing style and your upbeat direction. I've never been to Idaho myself, but everything I heard about it tells me that is beautiful. I will be following you from here on out!

Pura Vida from Costa Rica!

galivice said...

I'll admit it: ever since the university workload started getting heavy, I'm showering maybe a LITTLE bit less than I wish I had time for...

But I get pretty sweaty hands, and hate getting my mouse dirty, so I wash my hands ALL the time - even if I haven't been doing anything other than working on my computer.

hed said...

Mud-butt! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Oh the IE, what a bad rap you have :)

hed hed above water

Thank, Q said...

It's just nasty. I had a district manager visit our site at my last job. I didn't know who he was and he came in, pissed, and walked out. Five minutes later, my boss introduces him to me and dude extends his hands. I hesitated, but I shook it and immediately went to the restroom scalded my hands in hot water afterwards.

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