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1/20/12

Freaky Friday: Dogs, Sex, and Dog Sex (kind of NSFW, but not really)

Fun fact:  2 out of 3 households have dogs.

Fun Fact:  3 out of 5 households have some sex toys in them.

(another fun fact: 42% of all statistics are made up, and totally full of crap)

If you do the math, odds are good at least SOME readers have both sex toys and a dog (or dogs) in their household.

Now think about this... Dogs like to chew, yes?  Bones, toys, tugs, whatever they can get a hold of.

...which explains why there are so many pictures of dogs gnawing on sex toys when you do some image searches...

I have a dog at home (Melody the German Shepherd), and there are a few toys locked away (I write from time to time for edenfantasys).  I make sure the two are never combined, because I don't want my dog to be just another silly picture on the interwebs.

...because you know... if she ever found one and started gnawing on it, I'd take a picture first... when done laughing, I'd scold her...

But dogs sure do love their sex toys...

So what do you do when your pooch has a fetish?  Do you buy it it's very own vibrator?

To have and to hold?

(and to chew?)

Why not, instead of getting it a people toy, get it it's very own designed-for-dogs sex toy??

...yes... they do exist...

Meet the hotdoll.  It's made in France.  It's designed 'for trendy dogs.'

...and it can be yours...

You can purchase one at the hotdoll website for a cool 149 Euros (plus shipping, if you live in the states like I do).  They come in black or white, and you can buy extra 'receptacle' cones for an additional fee.

The last male dog I had was Spike, the horny Chihuahua.  I was 10, and was in the phase of 'outgrowing' a lot of my stuffed animals.  Remember Pound Puppies?  I had one.  Cooler.  Around the time we got Spike, I was done with Cooler, so I gave the stuffed toy to the dog.

Spike loved it.  Loved it long time.  Loooong time...

That poor stuffed animal.  When we finally threw it away it was stained and crusty.  But you know what?  Spike was happy.  And that toy was a hand-me-down, originally $15.

Would I buy my dog a sex toy, if it were obsessed?  Maybe.  But would I spend over $100?  Probably not...

Still, if it exists, there's probably a market for it...
Please Share it! :)

19 witty retorts:

Pickleope said...

I remember seeing the doggie sex toy somewhere. For some reason my "pussy pussy" never took off. Cats are just too aloof, I guess. If your dog was constantly humping everything around, the Ashton Kutcher of dogs, you'd probably be willing to spend whatever it takes not to have another pair of suit pants soiled.

Bart said...

lol this is wrong on so many levels. also ron paul 2012 and im not even american :)

Alex D. said...

That's just.... ODD! I mean sure dogs love chewing on everything (mine included) but sex toys for dogs? Dang people just get another dog! haha nice post.

Mooner Johnson said...

Brandini. Dude. The Squirt will love you for this if they make a male version of that French toy.

B said...

Sex toys for dogs. I know I shouldn't be shocked anymore in this day and age, but that... that surprised me. I have no words.

Lil Dreamer said...

I hope they make doggie condoms... otherwise clean up could be tricky!

in bed with married women said...

I wonder if those dogs owners are proud that their dog is the dog model for the dog humping sex toy ad.

It's kinda whoring out their dog. A little. Though the dogs don't seem to mind.

Annabelle said...

So ....

I'm sitting, I'm scrolling through my google reader...I'll be honest, I'm skimmin a little...

and then I see your post...

and then I see dogs humping dildos...and I snicker a little..i click to come directly here...

I get here....I scroll some more to see the Doggy Sex Toys and the little dogs giving it to 'em and I DIE LAUGHING....

best laugh I've had in a week. thank you.

thank you.

Jen said...

We've made the joke that many dog toys seem like sex toys, and that a picture of Doberman with dildo would be funny.

...and then I see this post!

The Simple Dude said...

That is amazing. And as a new dog owner I now have a whole NEW appreciation for sex toys.

SD

Haven said...

That's awesome. I grew up with Great Pyrenees and Great Danes. Thankfully none of them ever had this proclivity! What a mess that would be. Scary. I just, don't think I could, deal, with having to clean up after my doggy doing his business. Ew ew ew ew ew.

Thank, Q said...

Brandon, you're one sick puppy. Pun intended.

D4 said...

I just what'd at the screen and the screen almost replied.

Anonymous said...

Bleh! Get the dog to a vet for a neuter I say. Where mine headed when he was trying to hump my 2 year old twin daughters. Bleh.

Get the bitches spayed too while you are at it. The world does not need any more puppies!

Mynx said...

If i had a dog (and I don't)
I sure wouldn't let it near my bottom drawer. Those toys are expensive.

As for the doggie sex toy. nope. I don't think so. Just weird and who would want to clean it?

My New Blog – “Lizard Happy”

Games All Day said...

I don't have either of those in my house!

Youngman Brown said...

Wow that is so awesome. Some people really love their dogs.

Youngman Brown said...

Wow that is awesome. Some people really love their dogs!

pet supplies chicago said...

I guess sometimes innocence is a double-edged sword. I'm sorry but this post was really hilarious!

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