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1/14/12

Online Dating in the 21st Century

You've seen it on TV commercials:  Online dating websites telling you that 1 in x (usually 4 or 5) couples meet online these days.  Part of it is marketing blather, but it's partially true.

I myself met my current girlfriend online.  Not on a dating site, per se, but on World of Warcraft.  We were online friends for a few years before we 'leveled up' our friendship, but it still counts, right?

There are so many dating websites out there, ranging from religious to ethnic to political and beyond.   Some of the best dating sites are so crowded, you can easily get lost in an ocean of 'fish in the sea.'  So what is a single person to do, when you're ready to mingle?

Firstly, be honest. Why?

There are a lot of people who put up a flattering or misleading photo on their dating profile, and are surprised when they hear "You look different in your online photo."  I have friends that do this.  They go on a lot of first dates, but not a lot of second dates.

...I wonder why...

Secondly, go in with mild expectations.  If the statistics are true, 1 in 4 couples met each other online.  How many of those lead to marriage?  A long, happy marriage?  You may or may not find your soulmate on an online dating site, but you never know.

Lastly, do your homework.  Most online sites, especially the best dating sites will charge a membership fee of some sort.  Think of this as not only an investment of your time but also actual money.  I personally don't like throwing $20/30/40/50 away on a whim, and you shouldn't either.

Once you have a plan, stick to it.  Be consistent.  If things don't work out the first time around, keep plodding away.  If you're one that reinvents themselves after every failed relationship, you're probably never going to find a true match.

Best of luck.  I got lucky, and found an amazing friend and partner online.  Bonus points for her being a hot gamer chick.  You too can find a match!  They're only a click away!  (or something...)
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15 witty retorts:

A Daft Scots Lass said...

What an awesome story...

and

"soo romantic, okaaaay"...*in my best Pepé The Prawn voice*

Alex D. said...

haha great post but meeting people online just isn't for me.

Pickleope said...

The stigma of online dating is definitely a thing of the past, and it has to be better than drunkenly meeting someone at a bar...although, I met my spouse hammered at 2 in the morning.
Why do people bother putting up fake pictures? Do they think they're dazzling personality will make up for predicating a date on a lie?

The Reckmonster said...

Ahhhhh, online dating...such mixed emotions I have when I think about it. I think it's a good way to see what's in the dating pool that you might not otherwise encounter in person. I have met my fair share of trolls (cheater pants, scammers, ex-cons, and just plain liars), but I also met someone I dated who turned out to be one of my best (guy) friends (not so success in the dating department, but he is one fine human being). I've met some good guys who, for one reason or another turned out not to be a perfect match - but they were decent dudes that I am still friends with. I'm even dating someone right now who was quite persistent after almost a year of very friendly, civilized messaging (at first I wasn't feeling him, but the more I yakked with him - the more I saw what a great guy he is)- and was patient enough to wait me out before we met in person.

Personally, I tend to downplay the pictures part - posting some less than flattering pictures (a la no make up and the like), so that if I DO meet someone in person, they say, "Oh! You're much cuter in person!" tee hee hee

But, I agree - online dating can be cumbersome - you have to do your homework (which I say AFTER the fact, having been burned by some jackasses!) and be discerning - but you also have to make sure not to judge a book by its cover, or you could pass up a really outstanding person. I AM glad to say that I have no dating profiles on any sites right now. I'm hoping I won't need to go that route again.

Autumnforest said...

I tried this in a desperate moment and learned some creepy things like men will request you send a photo holding something odd up so they can see that it's a recent pic. One guy, because on my profile I put I only wanted to get to know someone by email and that I wanted someone affectionate, angrily emailed me "How the fuck am I supposed to show you I'm affection if I can only do it in email." I replied. "You just did."

Thank, Q said...

You met your girlfriend on WoW? That's pretty cool. I subscribed to two online dating sites back when I was single. I actually met one of them and we're still (FB) friends to this day. She looked even better than her photos on the dating site, too. She lived in AL and I visited her and we went to a concert and had a pretty good time. Unfortunately, she was kind of dating a guy at the time, so she didn't make time for me. By the time they broke up and she wanted me, I was with who eventually became The Mrs.

Lady Estrogen said...

I put some of the most UNflattering photos on my profile. I don't see the point in false advertising - it just hurts your self-esteem even more if they are repulsed by a 'true likeness'.

So, yeah. I also met my husband online. I spent a total of $10. Not too shabby, I'd say ;)

Baur said...

Ehh that picture eww man that lady is gross haha

klahanie said...

Oh yeah online dating sites. One boldly claimed that if I didn't get a date within six months, I would get the next six months free. Great idea! Prolong my humiliation :)
Enjoy your weekend.

Melanie said...

every time my husband pisses me off (which is often...and right now) a commercial for some dating site will come on (which, too, is often) and i get over being upset, because i can't even imagine dealing with that stuff.

and i love how you and your girlfriend met...TOTALLY different than a dating website.

Random Girl said...

I've done my share of online dating. I don't really have anything bad to say about it other than the whole process is annoying, but not really any less annoying that dealing with losers in public the "old fashioned" way... only I don't have to get all dressed up and go out to be annoyed. I've met some solid guys, a few of whom I still hang out with from time to time, and may or may not still be dating...ahem...

Raquel's World said...

I'll never forget about a year or so ago I spent 45 minutes(literally) filling out an EHarmony profile. I wasn't asking for much in a guy so I thought I was golden. After all that time I spent filling out the profile I hit the submit button' they responded "that we have no matches for you" In the whole effing USA!!! This is SERIOUS. They even sent me a lil profile/personality report basically outlining what made me so undateable.

Vapid Vixen said...

Why am I even surprised by the WOW thing? I LOVED that game. So much so, that I had to give it up. I allowed my brother-in-law to take over my account. My sister is still pissed at me for that. Whoops.

The Frisky Virgin said...

I'm actually really glad you posted this. I've been contemplating the whole online dating thing. I've had enough weird dates the old fashioned way, so I don't have to worry about high expectations going into online dating. lol

totally free online dating said...

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