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1/30/12

An Open Letter to Non-Cursers

'Son of a biscuit.'

'Shizz.'

'What the heck.'

'Freak this.'

Do you hear these often?  I do.  I live in an area where the majority thinks cursing is a bad bad thing, so they find creative ways to do it.  In essence, it's still cursing, but they're using different words.

So, what is wrong with the words 'Fuck' and 'Shit?'  If you read any article pertaining to the FCC and why you can't say certain words on television, it's because of their meaning and intent.

Taken from an article of the NY Times:

"The commission has, for instance, said that swearing in “Saving Private Ryan,” the Steven Spielberg war movie, was not indecent, while swearing by blues masters in a music documentary produced by Martin Scorsese was indecent. Nudity in “Schindler’s List,” another Spielberg movie, was allowed, but a few seconds of partial nudity in “NYPD Blue” was not."

But if you're saying "mother freaker" instead of "motherfucker," is the intent still not there?  Aren't you simply cursing, but with different words?  Vulgar vs non-vulgar use of certain words create a blurry line.  Doesn't the same apply when you leave the vulgarity and intent there, but use a different word?

And this is where I get confused, since the people doing this are of a certain "M" religion... doesn't the bible say if you sin in your heart/mind it is just as bad as the real sin?  Like lusting for your neighbor's wife being just as bad as actual adultery.

Well, if you're cursing with different words, I'm going to say you're still cursing.  Yes, you didn't drop the f-bomb, but that doesn't matter.

If you live by a moral code and are bound to follow it, using 'Son of a Bishop' when you drop your non-caffeinated drink on the ground should still count.  Think of it along the same lines as kids saying "oral doesn't count as sex, so I'm still technically a virgin..."

Even if you're half-assing it, you're still doing it.  Sex, cursing, etc.  Get over it, and either do it right or don't do it at all.

....fuckers....
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31 witty retorts:

DogsOnDrugs.com said...

Yeah, I've never been able to understand the mentality of people who don't like cursing and want you to soften the blow by swapping out some words It's like, what kind of fucking day care is this anyway?

Haven said...

I agree completely.

Pickleope said...

Freaking A. Cheese-and-crackers it's frustrating because those people are forcing me to translate their pseudo cursing into the intended word.

Lost.in.Idaho said...

Heh, my favorites are 'Dangit' (because dammit is SO bad...) and 'Cheese and rice!' (because taking the Lord's name in vain is bad)

Adsila said...

I hate when they hack up a movie for regular TV and remove the curse words. Those movies are not the same without the swearing. Some things just need to be left alone.

Michael said...

Fuckin A! Cursing should never be half-assed.

NoMoreTrouble said...

I don't know... sometimes cursing just seems tacky. It depends on the situation and what's being said. For most TV shows and Movies I could care less.

The Tsaritsa a.k.a. Alexandra Naughton said...

Baby curse words aren't any better than regular curse words. They're all just words. That said, I've used baby curses in writing/raps because I don't want to piss off my mom. She's sensitive to these kinds of things.

Kathy at Bliss Habits said...

Ha! Love it! I'm not afraid of dropping the occasional F bomb however I also enjoy saying "Holy Heck" more then the shitty alternative. Sometimes pretend swearing gets just the reaction I was going for! And I also have to admit not feeling too bad that my four year old heard "Bam it" instead of Damn it... if only to keep her Grandmother happy.

Thanks for a fun post!

Random Girl said...

Could not agree more Brandon. It is all about intentions, as are most of the important things in life. The only thing that has me swapping words at times if the presence of my daughter because she can get a pass for for saying "pickles" at school but not so much for "Fuck".

Sub-Radar-Mike said...

Very good points... never understood why people are so uptight about swearing. But, then again, if no one got offended then the swears would lose a bit of their punch, I suppose!

squatlo said...

Reminds me of the book I read on W.C.Fields and his war with movie directors and censors... he was a notorious bigot, but not confined to any one ethnicity (he hated 'em all). Found that one of his favorite catch phrases was not allowed, so he changed it to " I suspect an Ethiopian in the fuel supply". See if you can translate that back to WCF.

First time I heard his shout "Godfrey Daniel!" in a movie I knew what he meant...

Melanie said...

Coming from a girl who swears like a sailor...I could not agree with you more. Just fucking say it and be done with it.

This.is.me said...

I completely fucking agree with you! Will definitely share your post among my friend... people do it in Spanish too and it's a real pain in the ass to hear them saying such stupid things. You're cursing anyway, you idiots!

D4 said...

I'm down with this. I'll sensor myself online for silly reasons, but I don't think trading for words like freak or anything makes a difference, aside from sounding like an idiot.

The Tsaritsa a.k.a. Alexandra Naughton said...

I remember when I was taking classes to get my First Holy Communion we learned that words like "fuck" and "shit" weren't bad, but to take the Lord's name in vain was one of the worst things you could do.

My mom says "Cheesum Crackers" instead of Jesus Christ, and we're not even a religious family.

DogsOnDrugs.com said...

I think we're all in agreement. We should swear whenever the fuck we feel like it, and if the people at this baptism don't like it, they can just fuck off.

ResCogitans said...

lol back in june i did a post about swearing that was inspired by one of your posts...

and don't forget swearing is good for you!

Lady Estrogen said...

Love your ending. That should be your new sign off handle... for shizz, baby!
I say muthafukka a lot, but mainly because I like spelling it dumb like that. Sue me...

fucker...

G said...

I have an issue with cursing...I blame my upbringing. My mother took a similar view to you but with the corresponding forthright moral stance on the issue. As I result in an act of rebellion I descended into the sewer of profanity...leading to many interesting situations where swearing just wasn't cool.
Like when I was driving my other half's Father (the local Archdeacon) to the rugby when some fool cut me up. Road rage overtook me and a series of four letter expletives flowed out of my mouth before I could stop them. Horrified I turned to the Father-in-law to apologise...who just said "what an arse"

Thank, Q said...

LOL! This is great! I could care less about cursing if it's done in the right place. I think people who curse around kids are idiots, but that's just me. I don't think kids know when and when not to use curse words, so to do so around them baffles me. But, I agree with you that not saying a word is just as bad as saying it if you have intent.

Tony Van Helsing said...

People who wore those FCUK t-shirts annoyed the hell out of me. Just wear a shirt with FUCK on it and stop trying to be clever. Fuckers.

According to Jewels said...

I use some of those "curses" but only when I start to slip around the kids and have to cover or get inventive. It doesn't fool anyone but they aren't my kids so I can't full out curse in front of them. Otherwise, not around children, I do not hold back the cursing. I am pro-cursing, big time!

after3 said...

I love it... It always seems weird to me that their are sounds you cant make with your mouth. for fear of upsetting people to stupid for societies own good.

a3

Out of Barnes said...

One thing that goes along with this is how some people can't even write the words but use sh*t or f*ck like leaving out the vowel really makes a difference.

The Reckmonster said...

Well, coming from the Queen of All Things Profane...it's quite obvious that I could give two shits less about people who are offended by my potty mouth. I do watch my mouth around my kid (and other people's kids) - but only until I'm sure that he knows exactly where cursing IS and ISN'T appropriate. Like, I'm not going into a business meeting cussing my ass off if I'm trying to pitch an idea - or to his school conference dropping "Oh fuck no!" like it's hot. In "regular" situations, it's all fair game. I warn people who are just meeting me that I have Tourette's Syndrome, so they shouldn't be surprised at anything that comes out of my mouth. I do, however, like to fuck with those "holier than thou" types that talk the talk, but don't walk the walk (I'm talkin' 'bout my Southern Baptist hypocrite neighbors here). I will drop a "Holy Mother Fucking Mary, mother of Jesus Horatio Christ!" in their presence just to hear the delightful sound of their gasp. Cracks me up every time.

in bed with married women said...

"cheese and rice"? that makes me fucking livid.

i love cussing. fucking love it!

okay then,
jill

Mooner In The Perti Dish said...

Brandini. What the fuck can I say about this?

Fuck Rick Perry and Santorum Too!

Annabelle said...

Absofuckinglutely!

aamedor said...

Love the fake curse word Frack though but otherwise completely agree

Wombat Central said...

I used to make the same argument to my sister when she and her hubby used their fake f-word all the time. Gah. Also? I want to bitch slap people who say mothertrucking.

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