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11/10/11

I Won a Sales Award. Which is Cool. But....

I have only been doing this job since June.

I'm the new guy on the block.

And I won a 'top sales' award this week.  I'm stoked.

A manufacturer rep gave me props for selling the most new stores during a period of time.  I smoked the other sales reps, so he wanted to thank me for my hard efforts.

...by giving me a pair of boxers...
He begins to tell a story about an old business owner who coined the phrase "Farting through silk."  When a salesman is paid on commission and is making a lot of money, he apparently buys nice things like silk underwear (I wouldn't know because I'm making decent money, but not 'silk panties' money...).  If a salesman is selling well, he's "farting through silk" because he's spending money on nice things.

So, in honor of me being the top salesman for this product, I was awarded a pair of silk boxers so I too can fart through silk.

I... was... stunned.  What do you say to a dude who says "thank you for your efforts, here's some drawers..."

But hey, I'll take it.  Because the new guy in town is selling better than the rest.  Like a boss.

Please Share it! :)

17 witty retorts:

Pickleope said...

"Farting through silk"? And here I always thought it was "sex on velvet" which took the place of the historic "wiping with corn" (to indicate you had enough money not to use your hand). Huh, live and learn.
Congratulations, Big Timer. Well earned.

Smart Ass Sara said...

Good lord--- that is absolutely horrible. Like, yay for getting top sales and being relatively new, but boo to your incentive. Because does this means raises aren't really raises? Maybe you just get a wider variety of silk? HAHAHA.

Lost.in.Idaho said...

@Sara: I still get raises, bonuses, commissions and the like, but this was more of a "You're awesome, but you're new, so we need to play with ya a little bit" award.

With this contest, each new store I opened earned me cash. I earned a lot of cash. The pretty panties was just the icing on the cake. :)

Jeff said...

Give those bad boys a good washing. They might be the originals. Farted through for generations and generations of excellent salesmen.

Well done, sir.

Michael said...

Congrats. Clearly you've earned them. I say fart it up!

Shutterbug said...

congrats on the award! that farting in silk undies must be an american saying. never even heard of that! let us know how it feels in you new boxers!

Anonymous said...

My fovorite site is www.lostinidaho.me !

AllenTesch said...

Should've asked if they can keep the silk and just give you the money.

the Tsaritsa said...

Why didn't he also give you a can of Heinz beans? It would only be appropriate!

Congrats on the award! Shoot some bunnies!

Autumnforest said...

You know, that's kind of the equivalent of being with a company for 25 years and getting a sweet platinum money clip--but no money. Congrats, though. Seriously, the way you do anything is the way you do everything. In the long run, it'll pay off in more than just silk shorts. Maybe a silk wife beater tank top to match!

Al Penwasser said...

Is "farting through silk" anything like "shittin' in high cotton"?

D4 said...

You haven't worn them yet have you? You think it's all jokes right now, but when you feel your junk against that silk, mmf. It's like the one t-shirt some of us have had for too many years, the thing is ugly as sin and has holes but it feels PERFECT... but in boxer form. You'll see. You'll see.

Anonymous said...

just remember to hand wash, and never stick in the washer

Thank, Q said...

Silk boxers? Aw, man, that sounds like a Saturday on the couch in heaven! I wonder how much they cost because now I want a pair.

Wait. Your boss doesn't recycle the same pair of drawers each month, does he?

SkipHopz said...

wow congrats dude, u ballin' now

Lady Estrogen said...

More importantly - how often are you expected to wear them?

Congrats, though! YAY!

Lauren said...

Creepy.

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