Ads 468x60px

Subscribe:

8/30/11

Idaho Falls *cough* Premiere Nightclub: Bliss

Ok, try not to laugh too hard...

*source*
A new club opened in Idaho Falls this weekend, and my girlfriend and her gaggle of slutty friends (I use that term with love and respect) wanted to go.  I did too... partying with them is fun.  They wear the 'slut' title with pride, and they make me feel like Charlie hanging out with trashed, scantily-clad, mostly-bi-curious Angels...

The Club's name is Bliss.  Formerly the 840, formerly Chick's.  With a new name comes new paint, a new 'concept' and the same old tired songs.

But... but... this is NEW!!  It's now owned by someone new, so it must be better, right?  ...right???

I was expecting another half-assed 'production' with this new nightclub.  After reading the teasers on their website, this feeling grew...

From the official Bliss Website: (my smart-ass-ness in red)



Like Nothing You’ve Seen Before In Idaho Falls  (aka: Fresh Paint, velvet ropes and pleather seating!)

We are proud to be the premier nightclub in Eastern Idaho. Drawing inspiration from Vegas style clubs (AHAHAHAHAHA), we have taken out concept (we weren't thinking) and completely built an entirely new atmosphere for Idaho Falls to enjoy (we made the bar 'no smoking' which will piss off a lot of old regulars, but we're trying to be 'trendy...'). Bliss Nightclub will quickly become your second home and the favorite spot for you and all your friends to visit.

Enjoy A Relaxing Night of Luxury

Are you looking for a nice relaxing night out in style? Bliss Nightclub is the place! We offer top notch security so that if problems arise they are quickly taken care of by the professionals (wait, what?  read that again?). You no longer have to feel threatened in Idaho Falls (I'm not black, so I don't feel threatened...), just walk in to our nightclub and experience the difference! Come join us for the many live shows that will be periodically happening (bwaa?) and world famous club nights with the best sounds system (I guess this is ok... there is more than one sound coming out of the system, so 'sounds' system is technically acceptable...) in Idaho Falls and guest DJs who will blow your mind!  (and...and...and...)


So, it's um, like Vegas, right?

Hokay... I'd believe that.

But one slight issue.  I've been to Vegas.  If I was raised in Eastern Idaho and this is all I've known, I might buy it... but anyone who has traveled, even to SALT LAKE knows this club is still lame.

First off were the swarms of guidos.  The dance floor is small enough as it is.  When three guidos try to command the entire area with their sorry "look at me, I can pop AND lock!" moves, it gets old fast.

Speaking of old... it seemed like the 45+ crowd was out in full force.  Not that it's a bad thing, but when the music being played is Deadmau5 and Pitbull, they seem a little out of place.  But hey, to each their own...

I liked the new paint, I liked the 'dress code' for the female waitstaff (corsets and short skirts).  But I didn't like the cheezy VIP sections that were scattered across the club (most of them stayed empty hours into the night) or the fact they put large posters on the restrooms.  The men's room had a poster of a sexy woman, and the ladies room had a picture of a sharp dressed man.  The more you drank, the more confusing this became.  I was using the restroom when a girl walked into the guy's room.  She looked at me, looked down, looked at me, and said "are you in the right one?"  I pointed to the urinal... "oh..."

Trying too hard?  Congratulations, Bliss.  You've taken that phrase to an entire new level...  and it's only opening weekend...

We arrived around 10, were gone by 11:30, and went to another local bar called DB's.  It's not as 'hip' as Bliss, and the tunes are even more stale, but it's a guido free zone, and had a more relaxed air.  Sorry Bliss, you couldn't even keep our attention until your lame 1am closing time.

Oh, and if you're reading this, check out The Hip Kitty.  Check out The Balcony.  Check out Sing Sing.  CHECK OUT SOME ACTUAL VEGAS CLUBS and do better.

UPDATE:  They're trying to throw 'The Best New Year's Eve Party in Idaho' this coming NYE.  I may go, just to see if they live up to the hype.  Then again, the best in Idaho... is that really saying much?
Please Share it! :)

25 witty retorts:

my day in a sentence said...

The only good thing here is the dress code you mentioned. Everything else... Awful.

Zombie said...

All those guys look like they belong in the Jersey shore... lol.

GT said...

Looks like fun!:D

In bed with married women said...

Have you found your niche? Club reviews....? You and the angels travel the land in search of premiere nightclubbing. Or premiere-ish.

mjunta said...

looks good!

GAG me said...

My oh MY! That was funny!!

D4 said...

Sounds pretty lame, not terrible.. just.. lame. Short skirts TEND to make up for it though.

Annabelle said...

There's so awful it's fun. There's so bad it's good.
There's so lame it's cool.

That club and those dudes are NONE of those things.

wow. so. so. tragic.

Shutterbug said...

haha...those guys do look like they are from Jersey Shore!

MRanthrope said...

douchebags....douchebags everywhere!

Jazz bazooka said...

you know how they say, "fun fun fun..."

Matthew MacNish said...

Whoa. Is that a real photo of the clientele? Each one of those cats would set off my douche-bag meter from a hundred yards. I would be running for my life from that place.

Bart said...

u should have drank all of ther booze first

Smart Ass Sara said...

I didn't get to go to any strip clubs while in Vegas. Next time, FOR SURE.

Inverse said...

Jersey Shore much?

Thank, Q said...

LOL! I didn't get freaked, I didn't have a ball. Nice! Why do night clubs "change management" and try to fool you into thinking it's a new club? We have a club here in Jackson that has "changed management" at least a dozen times and I swear the same guy owns it. The Patio Club, Stage 52, Highlights, Name of the Game, Snooty Fox and the list goes on. Enough already! LOL! Just call it "Bar with a Dance Floor" and be done with it.

just me said...

They don't even look Italian! These guys look like white guys with waaaaaay too much spray tan! Not even close to looking like the Jersey shore guys!

Anonymous said...

Club bliss is the most popin club in the east Idaho area. a great addition to Idaho falls. u guys are trippin. With their new policies they're a step above the rest. creating a true club environment; clean , classy and no drama. just sexy people and good times.

Anonymous said...

Sorry, anonymous, but nothing about Bliss is classy, and most of the people are far from sexy.

Funny thing is, it's the same bar with a fresh coat of paint and the same management! The old owners/managers of the 840 couldn't keep the place afloat so they sold it to some guy with money and a small penis so he could build a monument to himself and screw all the hookers for free.

Anonymous said...

78 Productions does not own any part of Bliss Nightclub. While I agree with this post, please get your facts right. They do occasionally book shows at Bliss.

Anonymous said...

HaHa Great read! This club is a joke. And event the HOT girls that work there, well there are really not. They are the run of the mill skanks that every town has and can not escape. The "Owner" and by the way it is NOT 78 Productions is a creepy asshole he is sleeping with 90% of the girls at the club. He is a rich scum bag doctor that works at EIRMC and most all the staff there hate him. You nailed it with this blog! Well with the exception of the wrong ownership, in fact I love all the shows that company has brought to town Alice Cooper, Poison, Pop Evil, Cinderella, Ratt, Skid Row, Powerman 5000 and tons and tons more thats hardly C+ and for a small town to even get concerts we should praise the people bringing them!

Anonymous said...

The coolest part about this place is when DJ Jah from Spokane mixes his sick beatz for us. Watch for him!

Anonymous said...

Jah is the man! It was IF happy hour that brought him out. Their going to to more events there with djz spinning up bass so give that a chance. It was a good idea to get rid of the hillbillies.

Anonymous said...

The greasy worthless mexicans just need to stay in their own clubs and bars

Brandon Lostinidaho said...

...Nick?

Well, no need to worry there. After 7 short months, Bliss tanked. It tried too hard, and was too posh for Idaho.

Post a Comment

Comments are always appreciated. Sometimes they end up being better than the initial post! Come join in on the fun... (and remember, you can post anonymously)

And if you like the post, feel free to share! Stumble, Digg, Tweet, go bananas!