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4/24/11

You Will NEVER Forget This Easter Post

Happy Easter!

This post was inspired by a conversation between my girlfriend and I.  We moved into her grandmother's house when we moved to Idaho, and had to pack up grandma's things before we could unpack our stuff.  One thing grandma had more than anything else:  Jesus. es.

Jesus figurines, Jesus pictures, Jesus everywhere.

And from a smart-ass perspective, I was amused because no two Jesuses looked the same.  It was like Jesus snowflakes.

When we finished packing, we had a "Big ol' box-o-Jesus."  Reminiscing about that box, the conversation that inspired this epic post began.

Me:  "So what exactly is the proper plural of Jesus?  Jesuses?  Jesuseseses?  Jesusii?"
Her:  "I'm not sure.  But it really doesn't matter.  The wonderful thing about Jesus is he's the only one."

And then, synapses in my brain began to fire rapidly.

This was the result:

Meet Tigger-Jesus
Yes, like Tigger, Jesus is the only one.

Once the avalanche started, I couldn't stop.  I was singing "oh the wonderful thing about Jesuses, is Jesuses are wonderful things.  Their tops are made of salvation, their bottoms are made out of miracles."

And so on.

Images of Jesus bouncing on Pooh and Rabbit came flooding into my mind.

This picture didn't look right before I photoshopped it,
and it certainly doesn't look right now.
This is when I say no, I'm not atheist.  I just have a beliefs system that doesn't fit into any church's moldings, and as you can see, I have a very warped sense of humor with very little limitations.

Anyway, happy Easter.  For me, it will never be the same.
Please Share it! :)

34 witty retorts:

elexerdelex said...

Happy easter! You are correct, I will not soon forget this!

Choirchick22 said...

Hahahha I love that picture of Jesus-tigger on Rabbit. I did a post a long long time ago titled "Would you like to buy a box of Jesus" about when Mormons tried to get me, and the picture that came in their pamphlet looked dirtier than that. How great is that? Happy Zombie Jesus day! P.s. What did you do with that box of Jesus?

Shutterbug said...

Happy Easter! :)

Smart Ass Sara said...

Well, one thing I have learned is that Tigger and Rabbit were lovers. And now I can never watch Winnie the Pooh again.

Zombie said...

Tigger Jesus! :D

becca said...

wow that was a new one happy easter

Rorschach Redemption said...

As I was reading the post, I kept hoping (hopping, it's Easter) to see the bastard child of the words Jesus and Tigger put together.
Jigger? Tigus? The Passion Of The Pooh?

amBored said...

jesus poundin christ oh wait rabbit :D

Autumnforest said...

Yeah, I agree. Jesus equals Tigger. He wouldn't be Pooh. Pooh was a grump and a fatalistic and chronically depressed. I love those kinds of conversations. You sometimes wonder how you got there in the end.

Bart said...

that looks creepy!

Shona said...

Happy Easter my friend!

Lhosreiff said...

Hahahaha I cant stop laughing!

And Im pretty sure its Jesus' I guess, I dont know.

D4 said...

AHAH! The song, the catchy song! Jesu-fied! I approve.

XD

zepdragon said...

Lol, OMT! (Oh My Tigger!) I definitely will remember this post

Craftsie said...

I laughed so hard at the second picture. Also, I believe it is "Jesusii".

Tony Van Helsing said...

I've got an image in my head of Tigger being crucified now. It's not pleasant.

Astronomy Pirate said...

You are now aware that Winnie the Pooh is an entire Jesus allegory.

Kicking Rocks said...

ROFL!!!! Thats just too funny!

On My Soapbox said...

We hear about adult Jesus and baby Jesus all the time. I want to know why we never hear about adolescent Jesus. Didn't anyone want to paint Jesus with acne? Did he rebel against Mary and Joseph, staying out late and raising....?

klahanie said...

Hey, this was fantastic and I'm thrilled to the point of having a religious experience, seeing 'Tigger-Jesus' have a rather intimate moment with rabbit. Yes, I think it's a rabbit, or am I just 'splitting hares' :)
Nice one friend, I like your style and that worries me LOL
Have a peaceful, positive Easter.

Colin Biano said...

tigger jesus is best jesus! :O

Scott said...

Congratulations sir, you've written the funniest easter blog this year!

THE SNEE said...

(LOL)You're right! I will have this image etched into my brain forever! You might say that Jesus was res-erected.

Kelly said...

Tigger-Jesus. lol. Funny. I like that pic of the dancin' Tigger Jesus. The one where he's holding down Rabbit is kinda alarming, though. It looks like Tigger-Jesus is putting some naughty moves on poor Rabbit. Will Rabbit let Tigger-Jesus have his heavenly way with him- or will Rabbit become the aggressor and use his trusty flyswatter on Tigger-Jesus's ass.

Tune in next week. Hoppy Easter!

The Wired said...

ha, sounds like you made a good time out of a chore. Thats always fun to do with someone you love.

Lemons Don't Make Lemonade said...

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.

ScottD said...

You need to shoop some tongues touching on the tiger rabbit one! win!!

-DO- said...

Tigger Jesus ftw! not going to forget that

mac-and-me said...

tiger zombie raptor jesus next!

Venus said...

that last image is really disturbing. also I want to see some Black Jesuses, Chinese Jesuses, Space Jesuses... LOL

hed said...

Well, this post may have earned you a one-way ticked to Hell.

See you there!

hed

FunkyDuckman said...

Nice blog. I think, like any other grouping of names youd just pluralize it or to make it easier, say what kind of jesus it is and plural the modifier "jesus statues" or "jesus coasters"

sp3nny said...

great idea! very funny

Xenototh said...

Every time I see a crucifix now... lol.

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