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5/26/11

Spiders creep me out

No, I'm not talking about cute storybook spiders (even though, as a parent, I LOOOVE this book...) I'm talking about the big hairy scary spiders.  The ones you see on the floor, or in the garage and go "ROMG IT'S AS BIG AS MY CAT!

Today I'm going to talk about a spider local to the Idaho area.  They're big, they're hairy, and they creep me the fuck out.

I'm talking about HOBO SPIDERS.

According to wikipedia, they can get to be about an inch long.  It doesn't seem like a lot, but when you see one in front of you, they're pretty damn intimidating.

A few days ago, I hop out of the shower, towel myself off, and go about my evening.  About 3 minutes later my girlfriend enters the bathroom.  She immediately calls me back...

"How's your foot?" she asks... Feels ok to me, why?

"Well, you stepped on a Hobo spider and killed it.  I'm hoping it didn't bite you."

Spiders have always creeped me out, but after one quick google search on 'Hobo spider bites' made my heart drop.
They're not deadly, but are still poisonous.  As hobospider.com puts it:

"Very often, for the first 24 hours, the bite appears to be no worse than that of a mosquito; then it begins to blister in the center.  Within 24 to 36 hours the blister breaks open, leaving an open, oozing ulceration.  This ulceration 'scabs' over within three weeks from the initial bite, leaving a permanent scar.  If the bite is delivered in fatty tissue, the lesion may be very deep and extensive, not healing for over two or three years.  Systemic reactions to Hobo Spider poisoning include severe headaches, nausea, vomiting, soreness and flu-like symptoms.  In extreme cases where the bite was not taken care of early, skin graft, amputation, and the possibility of bone marrow failure may occur."

Extreme cases, ok.  I understand that, but my paranoia does not.  I had nightmares that night about my foot falling off, and becoming the first Idahoan pegleg pirate.
yarrr



I'm not ready to swash my buckles.  I'm not ready for my timbers to be shivered.  I like rum, but that's about as far as I go.

Luckily this was all about 2 weeks ago.  Every tingle and twinge in my foot spooked me for a while, but I think it's safe to say that I walked away unharmed.

...but it's funny.  Ever since then, if I feel a tickle or anything out of the ordinary when I'm in bed, I jump.  My brain instantly goes to "OH NOES!  TEH HOBOS ARE GONNA GET MEE!"  I'm not sure why, and I hope it goes away soon, but fmeh.

On the bright side: If my leg *did* fall off, I could be ogled at by the Amputee Fetishists who keep finding my site via google (thanks to this post).
Please Share it! :)

34 witty retorts:

Nom de Plume said...

OH dear I hope you don't lose your leg :O

Nom de Plume said...

On second thoughts, that leg is just slowing down your blogging....

Pickleope said...

The worst part, hobo spiders like to hide in clothing. It's true.
They also like to travel on trains sit around barrels they lit on fire, play the harmonica and drink 40 oz. beers (bad joke, couldn't resist...should have...couldn't).

Mynx said...

Ummm, might be a good idea to warn you that there are pictures of spiders on my blog today.. But not poisonous ones

Raquel's World said...

Here is the bright side...I watch a show called Hardcore Pawn and apparently you can pawn the fake leg. You will get $50 bucks for it in a time of need. So you always have $50 on hand. Lol

The Angry Lurker said...

In extreme cases where the bite was not taken care of early, skin graft, amputation, and the possibility of bone marrow failure may occur."

Good Grief.

Zombie said...

blehhhh... Spiders send me chills...

THUNDERCAT said...

That really sucks dirty booty! I can't believe you have to even live around shit like that! Spiders are just little assholes who don't pay rent but wanna bite on folks! We gotta kill them all!

Get better soon homie!

Anonwadi said...

ouch. well, still if anything goes wrong, better a leg than an arm. at least you'll still be able to blog. :P

Adsila said...

They sound as bad as the brown recluse (however spelled) spider we have around here. Their bite can cause the same symptoms and problems. Glad you are just fine and still have your foot.

D4 said...

The thought of hobo spiders turning you into a pirate makes me giggle all quietly.

Shutterbug said...

all spiders creep me out! :(

BigMike said...

"OH NOES! TEH HOBOS ARE GONNA GET MEE"
I had to clear out a nest of a black widow spider and her 100 babies last year... i still think i am going to die ...

kitkat said...

LMAOOO!! I need to visit Idaho. Seems like u always find the weirdest things :p

Red Shoes said...

What Adsila said... I was bitten by a Brown Recluse... it was bad...

Maybe Hobo spiders are a bit more sociable than the Recluse ones...

I dunno...

~shoes~

Dwija {House Unseen} said...

All I can say is at least it wasn't your head. Every time someone tries to get their head amputated, something seems to go terribly wrong...

PeaceLoveandSharpies said...

Spiders are horrific.
Even the super tiny ones make me shit myself with fear. >.<

Skankin_Pete said...

I hate spiders, they just look so sinister all of the time

jorg wobblington lopez said...

This is great. I never heard of Hobo Spiders. That's amazing. I dreamt about spiders all around me last night. They are so ugly, but I admire them anyway. They have their webs, that's cool. And the ladies often eat their men. This is a good find these hobo spiders.

Autumnforest said...

Yeah. AZ spiders are not any better. I type the medical reports on people who were bit by ones and they necrotized. Ick-o-rama!

Underground Dude said...

EGADS! Spiders and Squirrels! I am sure to have a doozy of a nightmare tonight...

The Minute Man's Wife said...

I heard the Hobo spiders actually hang outside of showers just waiting for the optune moment to pounce on their unsuspecting victims and have extreme foot fetishes.

LOL! Great post! I'm sure my skin will be twitching for hours to come. Thanks a lot!

Choirchick22 said...

Fuuuuuuuuuck! That bite thing isn't on you is it?? I'm deathly afraid of bugs of all kinds. Bleh. One more reason I will never move there!

Astronomy Pirate said...

The Hobo Spiders just want a home, and to feed on your flesh.

ThePeachy1 said...

As someone who actually burned her house to the ground over seeing a bug because she is a complete idiot and all freaking blood flow shuts down to my brain stem when the thought of a bug or spider in my dwelling is processed. I feel you. But as I was building this house 8 years ago and doing the final inspection, I noticed SPIDERS in the brand new garage. the contractors laughed and said, yeah as we were building these darned black widows just took over. WHAT???? double WTF what? yeah, so I enlisted 3 extermination companies for 3 years and they assured me that the BLACK FREAKING WIDOW SPIDERS would respect the fact that I had apparently build a 2.5 car garage just for them and as long as I never opened the door to the garage via the house they would never come in. So anything that's went in the garage has never come out, I park my cars in the yard and those spiders own the garage. As you know ( per my blog) my crotch has been attacked by fire ants in my own bedroom, and just yesterday, ( hold on while I gag here) a freaking TICK, was seen on my white tile. it was fast moving and I lost sight of it when I nearly passed out. it was found today. I am sure this is all a very elaborate plot to kill me by my husband, I give him props because it's working. This morning as I was hiding from the tornado/weather in the 1/2 bath a cigar smoking 2 inch poker playing wolf spider walked in and asked me where the beer was. I am done, I need to move. No wonder I keep having heart attacks?

The Empress said...

Hairy spinders creep me the hell out as well. Just last week I sensed something underneath my lap top. When checking I discovered a large bodied spider that was trying to decide if he wanted to eat my arms, leaving me to die alone in the middle of drafting my latest brilliant blog post. Well, there was no way I was letting that litte effer wander around my house and have thousands of little spider babies who would commence with eating the rest of my dead body. A drawn out battle ensued and somehow I came out the other side alive. Whew!

On another note, having one's timbers shivered sounds like it could be rather fun ; )

The Ranter's Box

Kelly said...

I hate spiders, too. And the big ones scare me a bit. Your story about stepping on one was funny and luckily, it seems, you weren't bitten. You may want to think about calling an exterminator, though. One of those Hobo Spider could hitch a ride on your ballsack while you're in bed asleep and bite down on your nuts.

And that would suck.

Plixx said...

romg I HATE spiders!!!

Greg said...

I have an employee where I work that got bit by a spider that came out of a banana box, almost exactly the same symptoms, after three days the wound looked awful its taken weeks for it to heal they are nasty fuckers.

Chunky Mama said...

Every time I see a spider in my apartment, I have nightmares that they are in my bed crawling all over me. I wake up completely FREAKED.
So I get it. I totally get it.

Thank, Q said...

If a spider can do that kind of damage to a full grown person, then I feel bad for the small animals and insects that they bite!

Ally said...

dude, that's it, i'm sleeping with one eye open and the lights on. we recently relocated to florida and i swear we have these spiders that creep into our condo and they are HUGE. even my hubs is afraid of 'em. i have no idea how we're gonna survive down here with these unwanted house guests.

p.s. i found you on studio 30+

FourthGradeNothing.com

Kicking Rocks said...

holy shit!! I think id rather get bitten by a zombie!! lol

Bart said...

spider bros ftw

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