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5/9/11

More Blogging Awards - Facts & Farts Edition

I love these things.  They're like blogging crack...

Moar awards for me!  And you couldn't get a wider mix than these, folks.

Given to me by Kar @ Flipside: Sanity is Overrated

Given to me by the wonderful Shutterbug @ thingamajig
AND Astronomy Pirate @ Habitable Zones of the Internet
First are the Versatile Blogger and Sunshine Awards.  The rules are the same, so I'm sort of lumping these together.

1 - Link back to the person who gave you the award, and recognize their awesomeness.  (Thanks ladies.  Much love.  Oh, and AP, *brofist* to you)

2 - Share a little bit about yourself (sunshine doesn't give an actual number, whereas VB says 7, so I'm gonna do 8...)
  • I'm left handed, just like 12% of the population.  I'm green-eyed, just like 8% of the population.  Combine the two, and I'm a rare little mo-fo.
  • Big Hands, Big Feet.  My ring size is 12.5, and my shoe size is 10.5.  I'mma big boy...
  • I don't sing in the show, but I sing like a champ in the car.  Sometimes I miss having a long commute, because my singing time is so short these days
  • My favorite football team is the Carolina Panthers.  I have never lived in North Carolina, I don't know anyone from NC, and I have never seen them play live.  However, they're still my #1 team.
  • Speaking of football, when I was younger my uncle used to take me to see the LA Rams on a fairly regular basis.  He had season tickets near where the cheerleaders were.  He often sent me down as far as I could get, to go talk to them.  He used to call me "his little wingman" which I didn't understand until I was about 16.  By the time I was 7, I had pictures with me and over 25 different Rams cheerleaders.  No wonder I'm such a ladies-man...
  • I want to go back to school.  My practical, business side says to go back to pursue a career in web design, graphics design, or business management.  My passionate, artistic side wants me to pick up where I left off and finish my music degree.  This time, with more emphasis in writing/composing/arranging, since I love to create.  Maybe I'll eventually do both??
  • TMI:  I manscape.  
  • To bloggers with captchas (word verification) on:  YYYYAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGH!!!***  Please please PLEASE turn it off!  Do moderation instead, if you're trying to keep bots off your blog.  I'm tired of typing 'ryadigh' and 'abstinoscerous' whenever I want to show you love...
*** My scream was intended to be Howard Dean's
signature warcry.  Not as cool as Leeroy Jenkins, but
damn cool enough.... BYAHHHHHHHHH!!!!

3 - Share this award with others.

For the sunshine award, I would like to share this with 4 bloggers who make me smile on a regular basis.  They are the sunshine in my blog-reader:
  • Lady Estrogen @ Adventures in Estrogen.  She is 14 different kinds of amazing.  If you're not following her, you need to be.
  • Hed @ Hed Above Water.  I love this chick.  She's like me, with bewbs.  The only difference between her neuroses and mine is hers have a name.  Doctors still haven't discovered a name for what's wrong with me.
  • The Gucci Mama @ Mama Still Wears Gucci.  There is so much fire and passion in this woman.  It's an honor to just read her blog.  If I ever met her in real life, I'd be in too much awe to do more than just drool and stare like a fool.
  • Aunt Becky @ Mommy Wants Vodka & Band Back Together (and others).  She. Is. Amazing.  My words won't do her justice.  You just have to go and see her awesomeness for yourself.
For the VB award, I'm going to have to pass on passing this one along.  Seems like too many people have this already.  It gets around more than syphilis at a party school.  Besides, anyone I would nominate probably already has it.  If you want it, and don't have it, feel free to snag it.

The next award is kind of unique.  

Smells like victory...
...and Taco Bell.

It's the Silent But Deadly award, which I snagged from Jewels @ Jewels Turning 30.  There are no rules for this award other than sharing a fart story.  If you have one to share, take this award and feel free to tell us all about your flatulent frivolities...

My fart story involves my wonderful girlfriend.  Back when we were casually dating, you want things to be perfect.  That meant, for me, trying to abstain from passing gas in awkward situations.

In the beginning, there was a lot of sex.  When you're spending a long weekend in a hotel suite, you're in close quarters for long periods of time.  "What if I rip one in front of her?  That would be mortifying..." ran through my head all the time.

When I had to let one go, I'd excuse myself to the restroom, or offer to go get ice or something.  I'd leave the room, blast one out (or five...) and come back when my tank was empty.  

This worked for a few days.  One night, in the middle of the night, I'm sound asleep next to her.  Apparently all the sex tired me out, but she was still a little restless.  I pass gas, and in my sleep, loudly say "Awww CRAP!"

The next morning, she tells me this.  To this day, I still can't live it down.  If I use the words "aww crap" in any situation, she recalls the farting incident and starts laughing.


Turns out it's not a big deal, but still.  When you're new to a relationship, you try to keep things as kosher as possible. 

Now we're much more relaxed.  We are still polite, and don't let things rip on a regular basis.  (But if it happens it happens, ya know?)  I forgot exactly what I did, but a few nights ago I made her laugh so hard she blasted one out.  That, in turn, made me laugh.  I wouldn't be surprised if my ass reciprocated....

Anyway, there's my fart story, and my newest cache of awards.  Happy Monday, all!  I hope your week is a BLAST!
Please Share it! :)

41 witty retorts:

The Angry Lurker said...

Especially like the Silent but Deadly one, congratulations.

Pappa Püllï said...

i loled at that last picture, nice blog! great write!

Lady Estrogen said...

Thanks!
You totally stole my syphilis joke. LOL

BTN Hip Hop said...

haha that pic is hilarious

sp3nny said...

that pic is hilarious! thanks for the post

Random Girl said...

Congrats the all the lovin'...much deserved, especially your story for the SBD award, that was comedy!

becca said...

congrats on all your blog bling. plus great story for the SBD award.

Zombie said...

Silent but deadly is by far the best! lol.

ScottD said...

congrats!

i.Mo said...

followed

Mike said...

Congratulations on your awards!

Gucci Mama said...

Thank you, love! Love this.

João Rodrigues said...

Congrats! :)

D4 said...

Congrats on all the love, and thank you for the story. I love those. I love those forever.

AllenTesch said...

I just got my first, and it was from the guy posting above me.

Jazz bazooka said...

congrats

Jazz bazooka said...

congrats

Dwija {House Unseen} said...

Only 8% of the population has green eyes??? Then you and I, my new friend, were MFEO. Which is code for "So cool that 92% of the population could be as gorgeous as us".

ChaCha said...

Howard Dean! lol I love this blog :D

G said...

Congratz on the award! Especially loved the fart one lol

b4 said...

Haha, so funny, last pic is great :)

Kim @ Coffee Pot Chronicles said...

I just stumbled on your blog from Man Wife & Dog and boy am I glad I did! This is hilarious.

Farting has become a sport in my household and it's usually "Who can fart the loudest or the most?" My husband usually wins but I kick his ass when it comes to belching. We're rude and crude, sure, but we have a lot of fun. Haha.

I'm bookmarking this site now!

Liquider said...

farting ! no more words needed! I lol'd

Astronomy Pirate said...

Thanks for the mention. *brofist* Good laugh on the fart story, a great and interesting 'award'.

Fashion Mom said...

congrats ! x

A Beer for the Shower said...

Congrats on many well deserved awards.

You can try to hold in a fart all you want, but in your sleep... no one is safe.

Kicking Rocks said...

silent but deadly......happens after eating beans...

Al Penwasser said...

So, you like the Kansas City Royals (via their minor league team) and the Carolina Panthers (see, I pay attention)? Wow, now there's spreading your fandom. What about Boise/Boysee/Bosie (whatever) State? They're a real good football team. Plus, they have a wicked cool field (blue not generally known as a grass color).

Annabelle said...

8% you say? Wow, I am special. You, I mean you're special ; )

That's a lot of nods, well done.

I lived with a guy who, 2 years into living together, was still mortified when he let one slip. Glad you're striving to keep it classy.

Mom Taxi Julie said...

manscaping is good!

My man farts NON STOP. It's disgusting. Especially when he does it as soon as he gets in the car.

Bart said...

lol where is eveyrone getting these awards from

On My Soapbox said...

Love the fart story! It almost makes me wish I had one.

Colin Biano said...

90% of my farts are silent- fact.

Kelly said...

Congrats on the awards, dude. I love that fart award. That fart story was hilarious. You really haven't shared the love until you've put the sheets over your significant other's head in bed and cut a loud juicy fart. It shows how much you care. You may want to check every few minutes to see if they're alive, though. Great facts about yourself. You seem like you are a big dude with a lot of talent. Take care, man.

Kelly said...

Oh... and I'm snaggin the SBD award here. I plan on doing another fart story on my blog and this will fit in quite nicely. Thanks!

Nia Langley said...

Hahaha congrats on your awards, sir!

I think you have a nice collection that fit you well :)

nialangleyspeaks.blogspot.com

Shutterbug said...

I also find captchas annoying!! :(

Dale said...

Congrats on the AWARDS, definitely well deserved and that's funny about you being the Ram's wingman, at least you got some memorable photos. ALSO, I totally know what you mean about the word verification. It seems so unecessary in most cases. I almost always mess up on the first try too. UGH

Nice post!
Dale

-E- said...

thought idahoans were supposed to be denver broncos fans. go broncs!

Nom de Plume said...

lol yeah the first open-fart in a relationship is always tense. It's almost more nerve-wracking than saying I love you

hed said...

Look at you! Grats on all the awards, and I'm so humbled what you said about me <3 awwwwwwwwwwwwww.

hed

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