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5/13/11

Eight Days Until the End of the World (hide yo kids, hide yo wife...)

"It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine"  -- REM

I have been seeing a lot of doomsayers recently, spouting off that we are in end-times, and the Rapture will happen on May 21, 2011.

Wow, really?  That's, like in 8 days.  And me without a thing to wear...

DOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!
There have been billboards plastered all over the US, and in my local area, cars and RV's with vehicle wraps touting this message.  If you go to http://judgementday2011.com/ you can see what people are saying.

My initial thought was "I bet they paid for those signs on credit.  When it's time to collect, they're hoping to be able to say 'Joke's on you, Mastercard!  I've been raptured!'"

My second thought was "The bible guarantees it, eh?  So, with that logic... if it's May 22 and nothing happens.. the bible is bunk, right?"

But I think those are a bit pessimistic on my part.

I do believe, however, that we are a very cocky species.  Almost every generation seems to be certain that end times are going to happen when they're alive.  This goes back to when people feared solar eclipses, thinking they were a sign of doom from heaven.

Here comes a shocker, I'm going to use the bible itself to prove the 'thumpers' wrong...

"No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. Be on guard! Be alert! You do not know when that time will come." (NIV, Mark 13:32-33)

So, with that said. Stop acting like you know more than Jesus, dammit.  (hehe, I love using the bible itself to diffuse the logic of those that think they know it better than you...)

One thing to point out:  The only species to have it right, so far, are the dinosaurs...

From a bright side, if the Rapture does happen in 8 days, I'm gonna snag me a nice, newly-available Lexus or BMW to drive around.  If it's the end of the world, I'm gonna go down stylin.
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27 witty retorts:

Tony Van Helsing said...

If the bible guarantees it and it doesn't happen, can I claim some compensation or sue them for talking shit?

Bart said...

yeah i remeber that. gj. sharks played well last nite. and isnt that may 21st a long weekend. party it up. woop woop!

Nom de Plume said...

RAPTOR in 8 days? holy crap!

Dwija {House Unseen} said...

Gawd, I love it. So much for being "hopeful" right? Let's all live in fear instead!

People are dumb.

Well, not you.

:)

Rancher Mom said...

So on the 22nd, can we all hop on their website and mock them?

Lost.in.Idaho said...

You bet. Or, if TVH is a lawyer, possible sue them.

Guarantee is a strong word, after all...

Adsila said...

8 days!!! Damn, I better go shopping, get my nails and hair done so I look good on judgement day.

Rob said...

I've been waiting for the rapture for like, EVER. Every time its near the developers just push back the release date.

Astronomy Pirate said...

Well, if it is, which it isn't, I won't complain. That is the day of the Preakness, and my parents are having a party at their house. There will be lots of food and alcohol and friends. I can't wait!

Colin Biano said...

I'm ready to give jesus a rim job to secure my spot in heaven

Xenototh said...

What is even sadder is that it isn't even every generation, it is like every .75 generations with some old school end of world predictors claiming they "recalculated". Isn't it sad that some people need a feeling of imminent doom to make them feel as if the days of their lives are special?

Jazz bazooka said...

i'll have a party at that time, so i'll have my doomsday some other day.

Melanie said...

CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Company) reported that there are billboards across Canada too. I say bring it.

D4 said...

I embrace this with open arms. After the 22nd... I get to be right and gloat. C:

Al Penwasser said...

Damn! I thought I had until the middle of next year. I just planted a garden. Crap.

microdot said...

only in america...nobody else on the planet worries about this stuff...but if the world was going to end on the twenty second I would want to be in Toledo, Ohio.
I lived there for almost 10 years and every day it felt like it was already after the end of the world and it would probably feel some how ludicrously ironic for a few seconds anyway....
of course, my hero, Sun Ra said many years ago, it's already after the end of the world, don't you know that?

Paige said...

maybe we'll finally know what happened to tupac then

Sieger said...

The rapture is coming,grab yo guns...I'll be in my underground bunker if you need me.

Annabelle said...

8 days?

So, I guess I won't stress all that shit I've been procrastinating. Nice.

It feels like the whole planet is trying to shake us off, but doesn't have shit to do with a book.

FLOXIC said...

It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine"

Now I know what Idaho is! :D

interesting posts.follow.

THUNDERCAT said...

I just hope that I'll get "getting my rocks off" during or right before it happens! In he words of the Joker..."if you gotta go, go with a smile" !!!

Jersey Diva Mom said...

That's great it starts with an earthquake, birds and snakes... um- (gulp) Japan? Bronx Zoo cobra? the the escappe peacock the other day??? Uh, maybe REM was on to something. WTH am I worrying about Weight Watchers points for anymore if the end is near- cake, pizza & beer-- all meals all the time!!!

ps- congrats on the win for Q's blog contest. I got bumped so early it was pathetic

Al Penwasser said...

Plus, it's the frikkin' weekend. Double crap.

Mynx said...

Thanks for telling me, I had no idea. Bugger. Guess I won't be going out the following weekend then and I was so looking forward to it

L.S.B said...

I have heard a rumour from a friend that this latest judgement day has all been formulated by one man. He somehow got it into his head that the apocalypse was nigh and spent his $90,000 of life savings on bill boards and posters etc to warn all us sinners.
nutjob.com

hed said...

Jeebs. I read an article where this family is SO CONVINCED the world is going to end on the 21st that they quit their jobs and sold their house and are living on savings. Those are the people I feel sorry for.

hed

Thank, Q said...

Dude, I've been trolling their message boards to see if I can find someone willing to give me their life savings since they think it will be worthless on 5/22. I'm one who believes whenever "the rapture" occurs, it will be unexpected and there will be a lot of running around and screaming. Kind of like what happens after a Nicholas Cage movie. I consider myself a believer, but I'm not one of these "you're going to Hell and I'm not types." I keep my beliefs to myself and mind my own. I wish these people would do the same. The amount of credibility lost on 5.22 will be tremendous. They'd better be right. Since the NFL is still in a lockout, what exactly do we have to look forward to anyway? LOL!

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