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8/8/12

Ladies Love the Magnums

(After writing this post I knew, in my heart of hearts, that this would be my Dude Write 9 submission...)

My girlfriend was in the mood (and we were out) so she sent me to the local Drug Store for a box of Magnums.

Now, I have to say, I never get tired of buying these.  Every time I bring a box of Magnums up to the register, I get that knowing look.  Even moreso if the cashier is female.

They know I'm "that kind of man."  Four times out of five, I'll get a certain smile from the cashier...

This last time was extra special, and you'll soon find out why.  Here is the dialogue between me and the cashier.  She was 17, maybe 18... very cute and very ...forward.  Needless to say, this conversation had me blushing.

Her:  Are those Magnums?

Me:  Yep.

Her:  *stammers for a second*  ...so, what's the occasion?

Me:  My girlfriend sent me out for these.  We're out, and when she wants some I can't tell her no.

Oh, IT'S ON.
Her:  Lucky girl, to have such a caring man like you in her life...

Me:  *smiles*

Her:  *awkward silence*  Hey, how many are in that box??

Me:  *looks*  Three, why?

Her:  I know we just met, but ...um, I don't suppose your girlfriend likes to ...share?  How about you save one of those bad boys for me?

Me, startled:  Um, I dunno... I think I would have to ask her first.  She may not be cool unless she knows what's going on...

Her:  Are you sure?  It could be our little secret... she doesn't have to know...

Me:  I think she'd notice if I came home with a box of three with only two in it...

Her:  Ok, good point.  I guess I'll just buy some myself when I get off my shift.

It was hard to say no, because she was so persistent...


...I mean, don't they look delicious??
Please Share it! :)

35 witty retorts:

Al Penwasser said...

Whew! I thought you meant 'guns.'
Or a private investigator from the 80s.

Addman said...

I get the same effect when I'm buying ice cream with my wingmen, Ben and Jerry.

Random Girl said...

Love this story! Either way, if you're talking about ice cream or condom versions of the Magnum, it was totally inappropriate for her to want you to share!! Kids these days!

E said...

I have got to try some of those!

Workingdan said...

You sly devil! I thought there was no way in hell a cashier would come on to you when you're buying condoms. Turns out she only wanted you for your ice cream bars!

Clever post!

Stephen Hayes said...

Okay, you really had me going here. But are those Magnums ribbed for her pleasure? I think not! Fun post.

Lady Estrogen said...

They do look fabulous, especially when Rachel Bilson is running through a traffic jam so she can eat one. Mmmm, Rachel Bilson.

And oooh my - that was some hot & not really subversive food flirting there! lol

Brandon Lostinidaho said...

@stephen: No they don't, but oddly enough they do come in a gold wrapper...

Blondie McBaffled said...

You completely had me going. I was thinking "the little hussy!" lmao. Very cute.

Hey Monkey Butt said...

Oh you got me, here I was thinking Idaho slanging it magnum style, lmao.. Funny stuff!

the Tsaritsa said...

I KNEW THIS WAS GOING TO BE ABOUT ICE CREAM! lol, otherwise that girl would have been inappropriately presumptuous. Ice cream is easier to share than... other things.

Ladies do love the golden package, though. It's true, it's true!

The Reckmonster said...

BAHAHAHAH! Of course, my gutter mind was totally thinking, "DAWG! Who knew B was totally packin' like that?!" You sneaky bastard!

Christian at Point Counter-Point Point Point said...

Great. Now I'm craving chocolate and sex.

Brandon Lostinidaho said...

I'm not confirming nor denying the angle of my dangle, I'm just talkin about ice cream.

Some of my readers have seen 'The Beast.' To the rest of you, keep daydreaming... :D

AccordingtoJewels said...

what a slut! I mean nobody has the right to steal another woman's ice cream! ;) Great post.

Kianwi said...

Oh my gosh! You completely had me. I, being the dork that I am, almost googled Magnum condoms, because I couldn't for the life of me figure out why they would sell a box of only three!

Great post :)

middle child said...

You should have shared. Gotta say that at first I thought she/you were talking threesome.

Jessica ( frellathon ) said...

I love those things. They are sooooo yummy

City Girl Turned Country Mom said...

This just made my morning! I'm going to send my hubby out for some now-and I am not talking about the ice cream! ;)

suburbiainterrupted.com said...

Try the white chocolate ones. Not a huge fan of white chocolate BUT those Magnums are the best!
Loved the post
Dani
@sunshinemommy
http://suburbiainterrupted.com

Adsila said...

Hell yeah! They look tasty.

Bart said...

i thought u were talking about the condoms the entire time lol well played

The Six-Fingered Monkey said...

OMG!

I have no words... that was just too fucking awesome man...

Too. Fucking. Awesome...

Something Authorly said...

So the threesome happened after dessert?

Jeff Laws said...

Great post, like reading porn, she even took your money(shot).

Sorry, couldn't help myself.

AguiLeon said...

o magnum nice i like that

Kevin said...

Fantastic! Having a dirty mind you had me all the way to the end!

Wily Guy said...

Awesome post, Brandon. I almost knew it couldn't be what our dirty minds were telling us, because tht would be easy and you aren't easy...cheap maybe...lol.

WG

Brandon Lostinidaho said...

Cheap is a good word... one ice cream bar costs $1.50, and I didn't want to part with one...

I'm such a Scrooge.

Dick Stone said...

too funny

JHJohnson said...

Oh my god. You totally had me going there! Too funny

Thank, Q said...

Dude, you had me fooled. Especially when I saw the black lady in the first photo. LOL! I've never even heard of Magnum ice cream. You still should have smeared ice cream all over the cashier and did her. Dag, did I say that out loud?

Ken Degner said...

I'm a little jealous your wife sends you out to bring home Magnums. I usually get sent to buy tampons. And there's no whitty banter buying those.

Youngman Brown said...

Perfection

Kevin Routh said...

Great post!

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