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11/30/11

Your Welcome

I believe you left this over at my place.

It's your 'welcome.'  Here ya go...


Whenever someone in twitter, facebook or texting uses "Your Welcome," pull this image out and see if they get it.  If not, you can:

- Point

- Laugh

- and walk away like this...

Wordless Wednesday - More Muppet Fun



11/29/11

Mahna Mahna - Famous Muppets Song Inspired by Softcore Porn Flick?

If you're a fan of the Muppets, you probably know a few of their hit songs.

It's Not Easy Being Green.

The Rainbow Connection.

Swedish Chef's theme song (Bork bork bork!)

C is for Cookie (and that's good enough for me)

...and, of course, the Mahna Mahna song...

Just in case you need enlightening:

(and now, this song will be stuck in your head for the rest of the day... you're welcome)

Well, it turns out Henson and the Muppet crew may have been inspired to parody this song after watching a softcore porn film from the 60's called Sweden: Heaven and Hell.  Here's a clip, and you can judge for yourself:


Not that there's anything wrong with being inspired by a skin flick.

Personally, I think it's more than just the song with an adult theme.  If you look closely at the muppets singing the "do dooo do do do" part, they look suprisingly familiar to a blow up doll.

I bet I could fit my... er... I mean... um...

Once again, a childhood favorite like the muppets has been identified to have some adult overtones to it.  It's nice to know someone was doing it before Disney was adding dirty extras into The Little Mermaid, Aladdin and other Children's films.

Besides, any time you can add "muppets" and "porn/sex" into the same phrase, you're in for a few laughs.  Check out this parody of Katy Perry's Teenage Dream as an example:



As always, the Muppets rock.  Sometimes, in ways that you never imagined...

11/28/11

Bitch Be Trippin Balls, Yo.

I have been fighting off a cold for about 3 weeks now.  Waking up at night, coughing uncontrollably.  No signs of getting any better.  Finally, after much coercion on the part of my girlfriend, I went to urgent care.

Turns out it wasn't a cold, I had Bronchitis.  It was nearly gone, but the cough was lingering.

Doc gave me two options.  Just finish riding it out like I had been doing, and it'll go away in a few more weeks.  Either that, or medication time.

I was losing sleep.  More importantly, the gf was losing sleep (and getting cranky).  Meds it was.

And whoa, I had never taken prescription cough syrup before...

My Face When the meds kicked in...
 The prescription stuff is mixed with codeine, so I was in for a trip.  I decided to wait until I finished my day before taking the meds, since I was cutting down a Christmas tree out in the middle of the woods...  BAD time to be loopy, ya know?

Loopy was an understatement.  After getting home, I took a swig, and waited.

30 minutes later, I was high as a kite.  Everything was awesome.  I was switching back and forth between watching Football and Robot Chicken, and was trippin balls.

Right, Professor Oak?

source

So yeah, good times.  Prescription cough meds are THE BOMB!

The good news is after one night I feel much much better.  I haven't coughed in 12 hours, but the doc made sure to emphasize finishing the full regimen of pills he gave me.  The cough syrup is as-needed, and will be saved for another time.  Either when the cough comes back, or I just feel like trippin out after a long day at work.  We'll see.

11/27/11

Nightmares of Christmas Trees

A rendition of last year's tree.  Seriously.
For the second year in a row, I am going deep into the woods with my girlfriend's family to hunt for (and chop down) a Christmas tree.

Why?  Because in Idaho, you're not allowed to go to Target or a Christmas Tree Farm to buy a tree.  You need to go into the forest and earn it.

Thanks to last year, I'm dreading the trip.

Why?

Read this post about last year's experience.

I am thankful for the lack of snow on the ground this year.  For that reason alone, I don't think this trip will be nearly as bad.  But you can rest assured that I'm not only preparing for this odyssey, I'm probably over-preparing.

I refuse to die this year, like I almost did before.

If you don't hear from me tomorrow, mourn for me, mmmk?

11/26/11

Idaho Has Made Me Complacent

I have lived in Idaho for 14 months now, and I have to say, the slower lifestyle is beginning to take its toll on me.

Life in California (or any major metropolitan area) is extremely fast-paced.  You're always moving, always going somewhere, and you either adapt to the flow or get swept away in the undercurrent.

Such is life.

Idaho is very different.  People go at their own pace. You can still live a frenetic lifestyle, but you will be doing so on your own.  There is no current to go by.  You're either moving on your own or not.

Well, living in Idaho has slowed me down a bit.  I can still hustle, and now and then I'm known to bustle, but normally I just do my own thing at my own speed.

But Black Friday is a day where the entire nation is moving at a break-neck speed.  For Californians this is just another day:  Fight the crowds, dodge and weave, and survival of the fittest.

In Idaho, it's kind of a big deal.

Driving around town at 9pm on Thanksgiving, I could see the crowds.  Walmart was packed.  Best Buy was flooded.  The streets were a war zone, and not unlike California, many people had guns in their vehicles (although this time it was more for hunting than gang-related).  People were in a 'survival of the fittest' mode, and you had two choices:  Compete at their level or get out of their way.

I chose to get out of the way.  400 people at Best Buy, 4 hours before store opening, all fighting for the same 12 TV's?  No thanks.  I went at 6am, was in and out in about 15 minutes, and still snagged some pretty good deals.

Maybe next year, I'll ramp myself up so I can compete.  Do some extra gym time, maybe spend a week in Cali to get back my edge.  Or maybe not.  We'll see.

11/25/11

So, I Black Friday'd...

I scored a sweet BF Television.  My first 1080p masterpiece.

The first thing I watch in full, true-blue HD?


Scott Pilgrim vs The World.

I'm such a geek.

Also snagged a few Blu-Ray box sets.  Merry Christmas to me.

What did you score?  Feel free to share below...

11/24/11

Book Review: Full Rising Mooner by Mooner Johnson

Buckle your seatbelts, wax your ass-hairs, plant your tongue firmly in your cheek, and get ready for a swear-riddled ride you'll never forget.

Mooner Johnson and his madcap crew of ex-wives, family members and supporting cast shine brightly in Full Rising Mooner.  This novel joins Mooner on one of his escapades, and will suck you in from page 1.

Even the dedication is fantastic:

This book is dedicated to Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, without which I would be but one more listless and uninteresting man.

And it gets better.

Murdered environmentalists, seductive grandmothers, and Rick Perry jokes galore fill this book.  For someone that typically reads slowly, I devoured the 438 pages of hilarity.   I also learned a few things from this book:

  • Going forward, I will help conserve water by peeing in the sink.  I don't have a water bill of my own, per se, so I'll be doing this at friends' houses, to help them out.  (I'm such a giver)
  • I learned about 23 new ways to incorporate swearing into my life.
  • I'll never look at someone's grandmother the same way again.
  • The same goes for the pat-down ladies at the local courthouses...
If you are easily offended or can't take a joke, this book is not for you.  If ass humor turns you off, you're best buying another book.  But if the inner child in you loves low-brow-yet-witty humor, you're going to love this book.

My autographed copy
I'm trying my best to skirt around the plot, because you really need to read this book for yourself.  It's part murder mystery, part ass-themed circus, and completely insane.

But therein lies the beauty of it.  Mooner is crazy.  There's no denying that.  Hell, even he admits it.  But you'll be right there with him, conducting the crazy train and laughing your ass off.

Full Rising Mooner is available on Amazon.com and for e-readers galore.  For a taste of what to expect, make sure to go to Mooner's blog and start catching up on the many characters in Mooner's life.

Finally, if you love Rick Perry as much as the rest of the nation, check out Mooner's store for various "Fuck Rick Perry" gear.  More to be posted soon, once I can get cafepress to let me upload again (blargh).

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

11/22/11

Bored in a hotel room, wishing I could be doing this instead



Bad.  Ass.

I need to get a flute again, so I can do this when I have time.

What dreams did you have when you were younger that faded with time?  Do you have any regrets?

Black Friday is Starting Early - BOGO on Ad Rates

The Holiday season is becoming more and more focused on Money.  Stores have sales starting as soon as the Turkey hits the table, and it goes all the way to (and through) Christmas.

Spending money, making money, getting money as a present, etc.  Cash is King.

Which is why I have decided to do my little part in the mix.  I would like to offer a discount on ad rates from now until Christmas.

Purchase an ad on My Own Private Idaho, and I'll double the amount of weeks.  In other words, if you by ad space for a 4 week period, I'll leave the ad up for 8 weeks total.

Think of it as one more BOGO deal for the holidays.  But this one will draw more eyes to your website.

For more information on ad spaces, please go to the advertising page.  In order to qualify, the transaction needs to be completed by 11:59pm (Mountain time) on Christmas Eve.  Once I hear Santa's sleigh hit my roof, the sale is over.

Merry Christmas!  Happy Thanksgiving!  And enjoy the cold weather!

11/21/11

Meet Pandora (aka: Dora the Explorer)

Against my better judgement, I decided to get a kitten one random afternoon.  I'm not entirely sure why, but it just seemed like a neat thing to do.

At this points, I already have 2 cats, a dog, and a feral girlfriend, so what's one more animal in the mix?

It started off casually, just looking for the right cat.  I was picky with what I wanted, partly in a way to talk myself out of it.

And there she was.

Her name was Narnia.  *ack*

The second we brought her home, it was her house.  The other animals were simply there for her amusement, and she had to explore every inch of the house.  Dora the Explorer fit her well.

After talking to my boys about what would be good names, they were torn between Dora (Youngest's pick) and Sammy (Oldest's).  I already have a dog named Sammy (kind of. ex's dog now, I lost Sam in the divorce so to speak) so I decided Dora was the fit.

But not completely.  Not sure how I got there, but Pandora ultimately fit better.  Big name for a little kitten.

I now have two cats that can't meow properly.  Weeble makes more of a SQUEEE sound, and Dora creaks like a rusty door.  They need to start a sound effects company, because the noises that come out of their tiny mouths are hilarious.

So, three cats.  Doe that make me a crazy cat lady?

Do I need to get these kinds of stickers for my car?

11/20/11

Sunday Silliness: Thanksgiving Edition (Let's Cook A Turkey!)

Next week is Thanksgiving, if you live in the US.

So what am I going to share with you today?

Let's cook a turkey.  With Coolio.


Granted, he's no Rachael Ray.  But even Rachael Ray cooking a thanksgiving dinner in her lingerie isn't as cool as Coolio frying up a turkey.

Source
As for me, I'm still not sure what we're going to be doing for Thanksgiving.  Maybe some football, maybe a talk with my boys, but either way, it'll be fun.

Oh, and if your turkey is in the freezer, now would be a good time to move it to the fridge so it can thaw.  Happy Sunday!

11/19/11

If we can use gum as currency, why not sex?

"Of COURSE you can pay me in sex!!"
(This post was partially inspired by Lady Estrogen... surprise surprise... THIS is why we can't have nice things!)

Most TV watchers have seen commercials for Trident Layers gum, where people are being paid in gum instead of money.

Babysitter:  "Of COURSE you can pay me in gum!"

Sad phone repairman:  "I wish they paid ME in gum..."

So it got me thinking, since I'm a dirty-minded guy:  What if you could use other forms of payments instead of money?

Thanks to this commercial, the first thought in my mind was "cum."  It rhymes with gum, and if you do a quick word transfer, the Trident commercial takes on a WHOLE new meaning!  The look in the babysitters' eyes makes it even funnier.

Oooh, she's getting paid in CUM!
But cum is kind of messy, and how do you accurately measure it for a form of currency?  I took that basic idea, and changed it to "orgasms."

They're easier to measure, and married couples have been using O's as a transaction for many years.  I myself, when married, had a few conversations that played out like this:

"Hey Brandon, can you replace the brakes on my car?  They're going bad, and I'm afraid to drive like this..."

"Sure, if I get a bj for it..."  Guys have been using O's as bargaining chips since the stone age, and I think it should be given a fair market value.

After all, the Orgasm is more stable than the Euro, can be universally traded like gold, and has a value everyone can appreciate.  I mean, who doesn't like orgasms?

I wish they paid ME in sex...
But sometimes an O is hard to give.  Guys can get them without blinking, but the female orgasm is a tricky beast.

I personally think every female O should be worth 3 male O's, but my point of view could be a little biased...


Ultimately I decided on sex.  Sex is an easy alternative to money, and people do chores and tasks for sexual favors all the time.  In fact, there's been a few occasions where I've helped out friends and neighbors where a quick "wham bam" would have been an acceptable payment.

So, I ask you:  Would you rather be paid in gum, or in sexual favors?  Or is cold hard cash still the method of choice?  Feel free to share your thoughts by leaving a comment below.

11/18/11

Fun With the Homeless

I recently walked into a coffee shop on a cold, snowy afternoon.  A homeless man had set up camp at the entrance, and was introducing himself to everyone who walked in.

"Hi, I'm %^&*(@ and I'm trying to get a hold of such-and-such company in a city that's 200 miles away.  It's cold, and I don't want to walk anymore, so I want to call them for a ride...."

Over and over he tells people this, and finally one guy offers to help him.  He looks up the business on his phone, and no such business exists.

"The owner's name is chuck.  See if chuck is there..."

"I'm sorry sir, I can't even find the business, let alone a number to call..."

This sets the homeless guy off.  He's been called a liar, and all he wants is some dude that lives 200 miles away to pick him up and give him a ride into town...

....yeah.

I silently sip my coffee (in the opposite corner) and watch the drama unfold.  He asks to borrow another person's phone to call his friend chuck.

...but he's never operated a phone.  Doesn't know how to dial.  "Which button is for the operator?"  Now he won't give the nice man his phone back...

I finally got up and left when the manager called the cops.  As entertaining as it was, he was harassing every person who came through the door.  Bad for business, and all that jazz.

But I do feel sorry for the guy.  It was 15 degrees out and pounding snow.  And he's 200 miles away from his final destination?  Sucks to be him.

If he weren't so smelly and confrontational, I may have given him a ride.  I stayed at a hotel in his goal-of-a-town, and slept like a baby.

Oh well....  off to work!

11/17/11

What's the deal with Google+?

Ok, so Google Plus has been around for a few months now, and I'm not seeing a lot of buzz anymore.

I'm on Google+, as the link will show you, but I'm still seeing much more traffic on Facebook and Twitter.

Have any of you had moderate successes with G+?

Is there something I'm doing wrong?

I always like to stay abreast of the latest and greatest internet fad, but G+, to me, seems like a dud.

Please share your experiences and insights on G+ and let me know what you think.  Also, if you're on and haven't added me yet, please do so.  Thanks!

11/16/11

Dear Idaho

Dear Idaho -

Yes, you're a dentist.  Yes, you went through endless years of schooling, to call yourself an 'educated' man.  You bestow your opinions on everyone else, always assuming you're right, and arguing your stance until the other side gives up.

Well, Doctor:  When you say "I thought a farrier was when, you know, you have more than one gay dude, and one is farrier than another..." and you're totally serious?  I just lost a little respect for you.

Also, asking if racism still exists is laughable.  No, black people should not just "get over it and let it go."  If it were that simple, the issue would have been dropped long ago, but it's not.  Sorry.  For an educated man, you're more or less an idiot.

Dear Idaho Teens and Twenty-Somethings -

Yes, I know you're trying to separate yourself from your peers.  Identity is key in the 21st century, and you have to make sure to stand out from the herd.

But come on, leave the fedora in the 40's through 60's.  It died out for a reason, just like wearing a suit to work has died out for the majority of the nation.

We are no longer a generation that 'suits up' every day, unless your name is Barney Stinson.  The fedora looks great with a tailored suit, but not with a popped-collar polo.  You're not Indiana Jones, you're not Don Draper.  You're a douchebag, and you're trying to hard.

Hats are accessories.  If you don't know how to properly accessorize, you're going to fail when you put one of these on.  And, although we're not laughing in your face, I promise we are giggling inside.

Dear Medical Professionals of Idaho -

When going through med school, you did a lot of disgusting things.  You learned to put your morals aside and follow the hippocratic oath.  The human body is your playground, and your job is to keep that body well.

But why is it, that when a woman comes in for an infected mammary gland due to breast feeding, you get all flustered?  Do you treat her?  No.  Silly Mormon, you tell her that you don't feel comfortable looking at her breasts, and tell her to come back when a female doctor is on staff, thus letting the infection worsen because you can't look at a booby.  You might be compelled to, you know, touch it...

I'm sorry, and I know this goes for a lot of people in a lot of areas, but some people in Idaho are just plain dumb.  It surprises me how many of those dummies have "Dr." in front of their name, and let their personal beliefs influence their practice (something they were taught against in school).

11/15/11

#PETA vs #Mario in a Tanooki Suit (and a fun game to play)

Oh PETA, you so crazy.

If you're a Nintendo fan, you probably know about a new Mario release on the 3DS.  You probably also know Mario is famous for wearing different 'suits' in his games, including penguin costumes, 'fire spitting' suits, and a Tanooki costume.

A Tanooki costume helps mario fly, as well as bash enemies with his tail.

However, PETA (people for the ethical treatment of animals) takes offense to Mario's use of the poor Tanooki, and has created an awesome website showing their outrage.


At Mario Kills Tanooki, you see Mario as the ruthless killer he is, slaughtering poor tanookis and wearing their skins for malicious purposes.

Yet, they're fine with him stomping sentient Mushrooms (aka: Goombas) to his heart's content.  After all, mushrooms aren't animals, so it must be ok to murder THEM in cold blood, right??

To save these poor, defenseless creatures from sadistic Italian plumbers, you can go to their site and pledge to be fur free.

Or, just go there to play their video game.  It's actually kind of difficult.  Difficult like the old NES games of the 80's (Battletoads, anyone???)

In the game, you're a sad skinned Tanooki, chasing mario to claim your skin back.  If you can get past the fact you're playing a bloody fictitious animal, it's actually kind of fun.

Other fun games on PETA's site include Super Tofu Boy and Super Chick Sisters.  What I'd love to see is "Save the Lorax from Gucci Mama's Wrath."  Just saying.

So yes, PETA.  You caught my attention.  I think you guys are fucking crazy, and I'll be glad to eat KFC in front of you while saying that, but you made a entertaining website, and a damn-fun game to play.

And I'm talking about you, which is kind of what you were aiming for.  It's all about the publicity, right???




***SIDE NOTE***

I'll be on the Talk 2 Q radio show tonight!  Go HERE for more into, and to get information on tuning in!  I have no clue what we're talking about, so expect a free-for-all in randomness!

11/14/11

Is it can be Christmas tiem now plz?

Monday, November 14, 2011.

Still a long-ass time from Christmas, right?

Well, not in Idaho.  We have not one but TWO local radio channels playing Christmas music now, non-stop.

Which is interesting, because I always thought the rule was to wait until the day after Thanksgiving before dusting off "The Chipmunks Christmas Special" or one of the many holiday-themed movies.

But not in Idaho.  When it starts to snow, the bells start to jingle.

Which honestly, I don't mind.  I love Christmas, I just think it's a bit too soon.  I also like Thanksgiving, and I don't want to put the cart before the horse.  I'd like to get my stuffing on before I start thinking about candy canes and chopping down another fucking tree.  (click on the link if you want to see why I have nightmares about Christmas trees)

Oh well, this just means more time on my iPod, and staying away from Target and Walmart.   Just, one request, if I may, to the radio stations in town?  If you're going to play cheezy Christmas songs, give these two a look-see...



11/13/11

Planking is SO 2010 - Presenting: Angry Birding

Did someone say Angry Birds?

Yes, I did.

And I'm about to make them even more popular.

How, you may ask?

Well, you see, I've decided to use these fine feathered friends in an attempt to be the new 'planking.'

Wait, what's planking??

Plank da police...
Planking is an internet phenomenon where people take pictures of themselves in precarious positions, laying as flat as a board (or plank, as it were...).

It became wildly popular, then became passe.  Planking resulted in owling and other copycat "person in a pose" pictures.

Well, now I present to you:  Angry Birding.

This is where a person commits an act of terrorism using angry birds.  For this example, I'm going to blow up the LDS Temple in Idaho Falls.

Why the mormons??   Hi, you must be new here...

I waited until the people visiting the temple was an absolute minimum.  I'm here to blow up a building, not the people.  Once thinned out, I pull out my bird of choice.

For maximum carnage, always use the black bird.

Especially against stone buildings.

I measured trajectory, calculated for wind conditions, and studied the best place to plant my bomb.  I only had one bird, so I had to be as efficient as possible.

One bird, one shot, one gigantic building.

You ready little guy?

The wind-up...
AND THE PITCH...
SUCCESS!!!
And with that, the Temple is no more.  I escaped with some minor scrapes and singes, but it was well worth the effort.

Next stop, California's Crystal Cathedral with a handful of blue birds.  Wish me luck!!

11/11/11

There Ain't No Rest for the Wicked

4am, and I'm up.

I have a plane to catch, after all...

6am flight, 8am land time, so I can still have a full day's worth of work?

Why?

Because I'm crazy.

But that's what I need to do, to keep things rollin.

I guess it's true.  There ain't no rest for the wicked.


Oh, there ain't no rest for the wicked
Money don't grow on trees
I got bills to pay, I got mouths to feed
There ain't nothin in this world for free...
I know I can't slow down, I can't hold back
Though you know I wish I could...
Oh there ain't no rest for the wicked
Until we close our eyes for good....

11/10/11

I Won a Sales Award. Which is Cool. But....

I have only been doing this job since June.

I'm the new guy on the block.

And I won a 'top sales' award this week.  I'm stoked.

A manufacturer rep gave me props for selling the most new stores during a period of time.  I smoked the other sales reps, so he wanted to thank me for my hard efforts.

...by giving me a pair of boxers...
He begins to tell a story about an old business owner who coined the phrase "Farting through silk."  When a salesman is paid on commission and is making a lot of money, he apparently buys nice things like silk underwear (I wouldn't know because I'm making decent money, but not 'silk panties' money...).  If a salesman is selling well, he's "farting through silk" because he's spending money on nice things.

So, in honor of me being the top salesman for this product, I was awarded a pair of silk boxers so I too can fart through silk.

I... was... stunned.  What do you say to a dude who says "thank you for your efforts, here's some drawers..."

But hey, I'll take it.  Because the new guy in town is selling better than the rest.  Like a boss.

11/9/11

OMG WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!1! (Don't worry, this is only a test...)

November 9, 2011.

Doomsday.

But not really.

We're just testing to see if we're ready for doomsday.

At 2pm Eastern Time, the United States will be conducting a nation-wide test of their emergency alert system.  It's only a test.

...but it may not look like a test... but don't worry, it is...

Wait, what?


I have been seeing commercials for the last 2-3 weeks, trying to assure the public "Don't worry, it's only a test... we promise..." over and over again.

I'm sorry, we have been seeing these tests for as long as I can remember.  Any 80's kid remembers the 45 seconds of BYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO on the TV, so annoying you'd want to cover your ears or change the channel to the People's Court.

So why is this any different?

I guess we'll find out at 2pm Eastern.

...if we survive...


Just remember!  You have nothing to fear!  (except Herman Cain's gropey hands...)

11/8/11

Oh, #Montana. Can't you think of better names?

Driving through Montana recently, I see towns, rivers and mountains named in a very simple way.

Bear Mouth Pass.

Beaver Tail County.

Elk Hoof Inn.

Rabbit Ear Ridge.

Pick an animal.  Then pick a body part.  Boom, simple name.

And the rest is history...
I know, I know... most of these are native american names, and hundreds of years old.  But it seems oddly simplistic.  So much so, it deserves a little mocking.

So.... the Animal + Body Part formula.  Let's think of some, shall we?

Wolf nipple?

Elk taint?

Buffalo nostril!

And of course, the ever-famous camel toe (and the less popular moose knuckle...)


What funny names can you think of?  And, bonus points, what funny names of towns or locations are in YOUR area?  Feel free to share below...

11/7/11

More fun than football on a Sunday? Power Tools & Beer (Don't try this at home)

Way back in April, I posted about a woodworking project I'd be starting once I had the time.  I would be building a scrapbooking desk for my girlfriend, so she would have massive amounts of workspace and storage.

As I mentioned back then, I have never done this before.  Nervous then, nervous now.

Yesterday, we finally began the actual process.  She had designed the blueprints for the desk, and we had purchased the wood.  Now, it was time to start cutting, and turning planks into a desk.

*gulp*

She called her friend D, who works in contruction.  She brought the tools and the expertise, and in return, I brought the beer.  While D was drawing out the cut lines and the gf was assisting, I went to work cutting.

D fucking rocks.
Surprisingly enough, things went very smoothly, and we are now ahead of schedule.  We should finish up with the cutting by the end of next week, and can start on painting/assembly a week sooner than expected.

So Brandon, why is it taking weeks instead of hours?

Just look at the amount of wood we purchased:

  • 7 planks of 1/2 inch thick wood
  • 6 planks of 3/4 inch thick wood
  • 1 thin board for shelving
This is a big project.  There is going to be storage and shelves galore, and over 125 square feet of tabletop work space.  Gigantic desk, but when finished, the girlfriend is going to have a much easier time getting projects done.

By the way, drinking and power tools don't mix.  Don't try this at home, kids.  By the end of the evening, we were doing 'saw off' races with jigsaws and goofy stuff like that.

As the desk progresses, I'll post pictures.  Mainly because this is my way of bragging.  I have never created something so massive before, and it's overwhelming me that I can actually do it.  Plus it's fun.

It makes me feel... manly.   Like I'm actually good with tools... or something.