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Those who can't do, teach. Those who can't compete, judge. #BloggerIdol

I love writing.

I love competing.

Most of all, I love winning.

But I have learned over the last (almost) 3 years that this blog needs a "does not fit into mainstream society" badge.

I use strong language.  I make fun of people, things, and whatever I can.

I have pissed off a LOT of butthurt Mormons and probably have a mafioso-style hit placed on my head.

Yet, back in 2011 and again in 2012 (I think), I auditioned for Blogger Idol.

Why?  Because I thought I was hot shit.  And I was.  And I am.  But I'm not really BI material.

I'm a very 'Rated R' blog, and the BI contestants that shine are a firm PG-13.  No feather ruffling, no pot-stirring.

So I'm friends with the wonder woman who runs BI.  She asked me to judge last year, as well as this year.  Finally I took her up on her offer, and I am now a judge for Blogger Idol 2013.

Be afraid, be very afraid.

Best of all, when I introduced myself to the panel, this happened:

Well, now I know for sure.  But hey, I know good writing when I see it.  I'll be judging you all from afar, but feel free to bribe me with sexy selfies, paypal 'donations' and other illicit things!

And if you think you have what it takes (better than me), go audition at

I'll be waiting.
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