Ads 468x60px

Subscribe:

6/29/12

The X-Hose - Prepare to Giggle!

I was watching TV late last night when I saw this infomercial:



I couldn't stop laughing.  I just kept thinking 'this hose is a grower, not a shower...

...just like me!'

Yes yes, Condi.  It shrinks.  You can fit a 75 foot hose in the palm of your hand!

And then turn it on, and watch it grow to full, behemoth size!

I mean, come on, how can you NOT have penis jokes with this kind of product?

I'm tempted to purchase this, just so I can say 'my hose is cooler than your hose' on a regular basis...

But then again, it's hard (hahaha) to trust anything you see on an infomercial.  Those products are usually worthless...

(and, of course, how can this NOT be my Dude Write submission for the week??)
Please Share it! :)

32 witty retorts:

Lady Estrogen said...

Hahaha!! I'm all about the growers!

Workingdan said...

I already have a "hose" that grows and shrinks, why would I want another one?

L-Kat said...

I saw this infomercial on Tuesday! I was waiting in a bar for a friend to join me, watching infomercials and giggling out loud to no one. :)

Brandon Lostinidaho said...

@Workingdan: Because you can show THIS one to the neighbors without getting arrested?

ken said...

I can't help but wonder id it disappears if you put it in cold water?

Hey Monkey Butt said...

That hose is frakin AWESOME! lols. Someone buy it and run a product review. !!

Workingdan said...

@brandon Ahh! I never thought about that! I always wanted to show of my hose to my neighbors....who happen to be Amish!

Kevin said...

What about shrinkage?

Adsila said...

Is it bad that my mind went straight to the gutter?

Brandon Lostinidaho said...

Believe me, you're in good company.

I said 'that's what he/she said' at least 5 times during this infomercial!

Just Keepin It Real, Folks! said...

DANG, it works just like a teenage boy when he sees a hot chick and shrinks when her DAD catches him in the act.

Brandon Lostinidaho said...

Replace DAD with husband/boyfriend, and the same applies to us adults...

Bart said...

lol wtf did i watch? it was trippy, im buying it!

Chris Bird said...

My hose shrinks every time I see my "X".

Squiglet said...

That seems like it could be a quality pro....I just can't finish that statement.

Melanie said...

Wow. I mean. Wow. I'm a little freaked out. Think of that damage something that grows that much could do...

Al Penwasser said...

And therein lies the story of my teen years.
And here I thought shake weights were funny.

The Beans said...

I...kinda want this hose, too. If I ever see this commercial on TV, I'll probably bust a gut laughing from it! XD

-Barb the French Bean

Joe said...

I'm certainly tired of tugging my heavy hose. At first I thought it was a joke. I want one. I don't do any gardening or cleaning; I just need it to make crude erection jokes.

Brandon Lostinidaho said...

"See baby? When you twist the knob, it gets bigger!"

Wily Guy said...

That is a bit disturbing. It's like gardening porn.

WG

AccordingtoJewels said...

Oh wow...this is fantastic! light weight, expandable, shrinks right back up when you are done with it, easily stored. I almost got turned on watching the water flow through that hose and plump it up. I'm a sick fuck.

Mynx said...

I'm kinda disappointed that we dont get them here yet

Michael A. Walker said...

Man.... so... many... jokes... here...

It doesn't help that those infomercials come on late at night.

Funny!

Michael A. Walker
Defying Procrastination

NellieVaughn said...

I don't care if it's worthless. I want one. I want one now.

Michael G DAgostino said...

Wouldn't want to accidentally step on that...

A Beer for the Shower said...

It's true, I AM tired of lugging around this big heavy hose. What relief to my aching back!

Zombie said...

Dafuq kinda black magic is this shit? O.O

Youngman Brown said...

Only expands to 3x its size? Psh.

LogAllot.com said...

LMAO! I started laughing too..because I was thinking, what was going through your mind!

Thank, Q said...

LOL! I'm so ordering one of these! I hope it works when it gets cold.

Sue said...

Only when it is cold...lol. I bought a 59foot one, just used it tonight, amazing, I want another, longer one.so light, I actually rolled it up and hung it over the water turn on knob. All you do I'd turn the water on, turn the valve on the hose off and it expands. Too, shrink it, turn the water off, empty the hose and it shrinks down. I have a very bad back and this is amazing. Worth the buy!

Post a Comment

Comments are always appreciated. Sometimes they end up being better than the initial post! Come join in on the fun... (and remember, you can post anonymously)

And if you like the post, feel free to share! Stumble, Digg, Tweet, go bananas!