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How do people find you?

Google is a powerful tool in the 21st century.  Hell, it's even a verb (have you goog'd lately??). 

 So naturally, when you manage a blog, you want to make sure your site shows up when people search for relevant topics.

What I would like to consider relevant to my blog:

  • Humor
  • Cultural Obervations
  • Idaho (mostly making fun of it)
  • Internet pop-culture (from time to time)
But how do people find my blog?  Let's look at some search results, shall we?

If you think god is a pimp, you'll get me.  If you're racist because you're white, you'll get me.

Um, what?

Some things make sense, like the '7th day Idaho' search, because of my post on Sundays in this town.  But other results just baffle me...

I don't ever remember doing a blog post on trying to lick my own junk, let alone providing pictures about it.

So, denizens of the blogosphere... what crazy search results pop up on your statistics?  Let me know.  I'd love to hear some of the best...
Please Share it! :)

43 witty retorts:

Evan said...

haha thats really funny man. I don't understand why your key words are so all over the place.

mine are all stupid and related to hockey haha

Gregzilla said...

Look at you Mr. Popular!! Ive only been located through one google search.

edgefest vii lineup

I need to get out there more!

Gucci Mama said...

Most of mine have to do with some variation "panties" or "dirty panties" or "where I can I buy Gucci's worn panties". My favorite one ever was "Gucci's husband killed her and is writing the blog under her name".

That one should be engraved in stone.

Autumnforest said...

I get "ghost sex" which is okay with me. I'm totally pro-incubus. said...

@Evan: I think it's because my blog as a whole is all over the place. Read through a handful of my posts at random, and you'll understand.

@Autumn: I like ghost sex. Who doesn't?

@Gucci: I love that search! And what if it's true! Millions of men pretend to be women on the internets... how do we know this is really you???

D4 said...

So lucky. All mine are music related, which like, well people are getting what they want, that's great. But I wish some one would find me through some ridiculously amusing search too.

Sonia said...

Instead of using one word "keywords", I try and write it as if I was online searching myself. I use a plugin called Jetpack that lets me see what others use to find my site. Although I liked your analogy and way of searching for your site. That was hella funny!

Matthew MacNish said...

Most of those were me, it's a game I play.

Venus said...

mine are not funny :P

zepdragon said...

Currently I am nowhere near your amount of lovely followers, but here are the major keyword searches that have landed on my blog:

9 oak island money pit
7 the money pit oak island
2 наска
2 daniel mcginnis
1 money pit oak island
1 nova scotia money pit
1 oak island inscription
1 oak island money pit 2011
1 oak island stones
1 oak island treasure

Random Girl said...

I crack up at some of the searches that land people at my site. Never a day goes by that doesn't involve some sort of search with "threesomes" and "Soft-Core" coming up at least once each. Lots of "cheating" and even a "wacky porn" reference for today. I have been called a lot of things..

Random Girl said...

F'ing blogger just ate my comment. So here I go again. It cracks me up what people search to land at my site. Never a day goes by that doesn't include a search for "threesome" and "soft-core" along with "men vs. women" and a few "wacky porn" searches mixed in for fun. Glad to be of service! said...

It didn't eat your comment! But it showed me only 1 to moderate. I clicked 'publish' and it tells me 2 have been published.

Blogger's playin some games with you today...

Bart said...

i try to search mine on a regular basis. found it a few times

The Simple Dude said...

Those are great.. it always cracks me up to see the random ways people find my blog too.


ScottD said...

I can lick my own junk pics! ROFL! congrats

Lhosreiff said...

"I can lick my own junk pics", AHAHAHAHAHAHA! I laughed way harder at that than I should have.

becca said...

who knew Google was so powerful and all great post

Astronomy Pirate said...

I can say that I do not come here for junk licking pictures.

My favorite from my blog is луна, I have no idea what this is. Anyways, everything else is about moon photos, the solar system, and stars and galaxies.

Jazz bazooka said...

google just has a great sense of humor :D

Anonymous said...

Couldnt agree more with that, very attractive article

Kicking Rocks said...

we are still waiting for pics or it didnt happen!!

Lady Estrogen said...

Hahaha.. yeah - where ARE those pics, anyway? If you're expecting me to put on a tight teddy bear tutu costume - you'll have to return the favor. LOL

Arcee said...

I got one that says "minotaur fucking someone" which was searched for twice apparently. I don't know how to feel about that..

A Beer for the Shower said...

'iphone animal porn' brought us 4 visitors. Don't even ask me how. 'Massive heaving breasts' brought us 5. That... I can own up to proudly.

klahanie said...

"How do people find you?"
Well, actually, I like to think, they find me witty, charming, polite and almost mildly amusing :)
Oh, I know all about this finding me via key words on Google. I did a blog that mentioned a nursery rhyme that has the words 'ride a cock horse to Banbury Cross', in it. And thus folks have been googling 'cocks' and 'horses' and 'riding horses cocks' etc. Strangely enough, they visit my site, see it aint exactly what they were looking for and stay for zero seconds. The biggest search I get is for a blog about 'horse manure'. Maybe that tells you about the horse crap I write.
Your post was effin' hilarious and man, can I relate :)
Take care and mind what you lick :)

Dale said...

haha, that is really funny some of your key words that show up, but at least you're unique. And this post is quite helpful because I really don't understand much about google analytics so I'm always trying to learn more.

Have a good 1st day of the week in Idaho. :)

ResCogitans said...

mine were mostly sensible but one was "and therefore". WTF?

Anonymous said...

I check mine all the time and post the results. I freaking love seeing how people reach my blog and then laugh over what their faces must be like when they search for random shit like "benjamin franklin porn" and reach my blog instead. *Yes that did come up on my search keywords!*

Shutterbug said...

I haven't had any crazy search results yet...

Josie said... do you find this stuff out???

Colin Biano said...

terrible fortune cookies
terrible photos
school closings
terrible xxx photos
"please don't **** in my mouth"
1's... oh god, it's everywhere
acm awards
amazing race 18
april fools pranks

i'm not even going to question it, man

Zombie said...

Soon Google will become self aware and take over the world!!

=dgrphx= said...

google is god google it

hed said...

"Creepy Mormon Idaho" kind of nailed it, don't you think?


kitkat said...

hahaha it seems like most bloggers get crazy search keywords. Mine are just boring and not unusual :/
i better start giving my blogpost funkier names lol

Kelly said...

After doing the blog for almost four years now, I've come to the conclusion that most people are typing in any search words having to do with "strange", "odd" or something sexual. There are so many fuckin' freaks out there, it's scary. Like you, I would like most to find mine with Humor or Cultural or Societal observations. Anyway, here's the keywords most assholes are typing in to get to my blog:
psycho carnival, animal genitals, dolphin penis, cat cake, female animal genitalia, sick jokes, extreme muscles, dropa stones,
strange occurrences

So there you go.

Something Concupiscible said...

Google comes up with the silliest of things.

The Wired said...

hmm interesting post! I was actually going to do a post on Google in a while!And yea its strange what google returns sometimes

Tony Van Helsing said...

'Cat obssessed with wet hair'? Brilliant.

Mike Litoris said...


Thank, Q said...

Knuckle scratch? Funny. Didn't know you were bulimic. I get hits on the following: black hockey players, Dwight Howard's girlfriend, Monster's Ball, and Jillian Barberie. Go figure.

Anonymous said...

Hi there, I found your blog via Google while searching for a related topic, your site came up, it looks good.

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