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So I Think I'm Engaged...

Looking at the title, you're probably thinking:  "But Brandon, you either are or your not... what's the confusion?"

Well, it's more complicated than that, and it has always been complicated in this relationship.

Do you know the saying 'You can't be half-pregnant... You either are or you're not'?  Well, in this relationship, we would find a way.

It's just that odd.  But it works.

It started on Father's Day weekend.  We had a lot of driving to do (and I had enough 'frequent renter' points) so I rented a car.  Enterprise surprised me with an upgrade from super-compact to this:

For the weekend, we were driving around in a Mitsubishi Eclipse Spyder convertible, with upgraded engine, sound system, and all the perks.  The rental company looked at me, smiled, and said "Happy Father's Day."  I was thrilled.

Later that day, we went out for breakfast.  We had to wait FOREVER due to an unexpected rush of customers.  Because of that, they comped our meal.

...what the shit...

It was then and there that I announced "Well, good things come in 3's.  If number 3 comes, I'm unstoppable.  I'm asking for a threesome, I'm buying lottery tickets, I'm ruling the world!"

My girlfriend just smiled and giggled.

At the end of the day, we were driving home, when she spoke up:

Her:  "Baby?"

Me:  "Yeah?"

"Let's get married..."

"What, like right now??"

"No, just soon.  We'll do the big thing for everyone else later, I just want to get married..."


And like that, I think she proposed to me.  We have talked about marriage plans (we're hosting the bar) for years, as well as kids (we don't want any) and kids' names (Frodo IndianaJones if we had a boy...) so this is no shock.  Just... I thought I was going to be doing the proposing.

The main reason I haven't done it yet is because I want to do this one right.  With my ex wife, I purchased a sad looking ring (similar to the picture) and did a bad job proposing.

We were in the 'lets get stoned all the time' phase, and living with a slutty-virgin roommate that looked like Julia Roberts' younger hotter twin.  When 'Julia' and I weren't busy playing 2-person strip poker (while my ex worked), the 3 of us would smoke pot and wax poetic.

One night, when we were high, Julia goes into her room to scream at her boyfriend on the phone.  Ex and I are sitting around, and I had the ring in my pocket.  With our roomie shouting and cursing, I handed my ex the ring and said "here you go, you don't have to wait any longer..."

Boom.  Mister Romantic, I know.

That's why I wanted this time to be different.  I want a better ring.  I want a better proposal.  I have 3 ideas in my head, and it was just a matter of timing.

...I'm probably still going to do it.  The ring, the romance, the memories.  But I think it may happen after the wedding?

We'll see.  There's no date set (and we haven't discussed it since that night) so I may still have time to do it right.  Besides, if that was #3 in the 'good things come in 3's' trilogy, why haven't I had my threesome yet???
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26 witty retorts:

Just Keepin It Real, Folks! said...

Call up your old pal "Julia" and see if she's cleaned up her act. If not, she might be up for a threesome before you tie the knot.

Brandon Lostinidaho said...

She and I are still Facebook friends, and we never had sex before. Cigarettes are a turn off, and she smokes a lot. Twelve years ago, I would have considered going down that road. Now, not so much.

Yandie, Goddess of Pickles. said...

I don't think there's a maybe here. Congratulations!

Katsidhe said...

So I'm thinking...congratulations?

(I'm so confused!)

((Though in all honesty it doesn't take much to fuck with my head.))

The Management said...

Definitely, definitely still do the proposal. If I was your girlfriend, me saying "let's get married" would mean more "Propose to me soon, idiot" than anything else.

This was her way of telling you she's ready for it- now go to town!

Haven said...

A threesome would be the 4thsome of good things. Also, be careful about that wish. They sound like a lot of fun on paper, but if you're with people you haven't had one with before, they can actually be more awkward than amusing and remember, all the pressure is on you ;)

Haven said...

BTW, Congrats! You're officially maybe engaged =) At least you know she'll say yes if you do go the romantic route.

Brandon Lostinidaho said...

Haha, I've had nightmares about 3somes before. I am very good at pleasuring a woman, but two at once? Oh, the pressure!

However, if you find a good one, it will be 3 people pleasuring each other, not just Superman keeping the bitches happy...

Sweety Darlin said...

OKay so if you are engaged.. congrats. If she was trying to help you get your threesome without a threesome event on her part then maybe she was just covering her bases and it was very self serving.

Otherwise maybe congrats and stuff sort of.

Vinny C said...

I'm guessing it's pretty much a done deal so I'll say congrats too.

"here you go, you don't have to wait any longer..." I wish I could be so smooth.

B. said...

I agree with The Management. Propose anyway. Congratulations!

Autumnforest said...

Sorta, kinda, almost congrats! Hee hee

middle child said...

The sad ring you bought your ex? I like it.
And if you want a threesome, it will have to wait 'till Hunter is ..well...hunting!

Hey Monkey Butt said...

First off, congrats.. I think. Secondly I say go with that The Management said up there!! I have to agree with the girlfriend probably just wants you to propose soon! So get to it :) Ps,, Frodo IndianJones is totally a kick ass name!

squatlo said...

What a difference a day or two can make! I was over here recently and thought I was going to have to drive my happy ass to Ida-damn-ho for a suicide watch, and now you're getting free upgrades for sports cars and comp-ed meals, plus talking about an engagement!

For what it's worth, I definitely like the change in attitude over here.

Congrats, I guess. Management is totally on target, however. If you don't drop down on a knee, organize a flash mob, and hire the cast of Glee to break into song for your proposal you don't have a hair on your butt! The woman wants a romantic, so dazzle her ass...

BTW, still planning on buying your book. My lovely wife couldn't find it on her Kindle, so I brought her in here to show her the link from your site. Just so's you knows, we haven't forgotten you or your book.

Melanie said...

So, congratulations then?

Jessica ( frellathon ) said...

Congrats and I think this is the new way of doing things romance is out and hey you wanna is in ah what the hell do I know I'm single oh and what's wrong with that ring? I don't get the appeal of huge rocks. A guy asked with a huge rock I'd say no take it back buy me a little ring and if you have the money for something like that buy me books, bacon and sexy shoes instead. Now those three I'd say yes to a threesome for.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations? I don't have the guts to kind of propose to anyone. I mean, what do you give the guy? A diamond ring would look silly on a man.

A Daft Scots Lass said...

Trust me. Get the threesum in the bag before you tie the knot.

Lady Estrogen said...

I like that woman of yours ;)

And DSLass - you just made me laugh out loud for realzies.

Adsila said...


Wily Guy said...

So I guess we're congratulating you now? (see what I did there?)

You should play it cool, treat it like going to the grocery store, then one at the courthouse, propose for real.


Pickleope said...

Dude, she proposed to you? That's a down, awesome lady. You accept that proposal and be an enlightened dude and revel in that most excellent of proposals.
Sorry, when I talk about marriage, I somehow revert to Bill & Ted talk. But it doesn't make it any less valid. It sounds like you're clear headed in this case so you should be making the right decision.
Wait, you have farted in front of her, right?

Random Girl said...

Well, I'm going to say congratulations! I am all about non traditional ways of getting things done and this counts for sure. I would say though, you need to fulfill the romantic "do it right" goal you have for yourself and you still can, she will still appreciate the gesture and it will feel more official to both of you. I better get an invite for the know this!

Youngman Brown said...

I'll say "congrats," because that is half of "congratulations." And honestly, who wants ulation anyway?

Thank, Q said...

Half congrats on the almost engagement! I remember proposing to The Mrs. in a car at the spot of our 2nd date. Everything is pretty much a blur after that.

Go figure.

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