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Twitter War: Brandon vs Beneful

I wrote a post yesterday about a Pet Food company who makes lousy food, but fantastic commercials.

In a tirade, I decided to put "@Beneful" in the title post.  I knew it would be tweeted over and over, and I did it to get under their skin.

It worked.

Fantastically well, in my own opinion.

Halfway through the day, I get a response from Beneful, and so do a good number of people who tweeted my post:

I go on Beneful's twitter site to see this:

51 followers?  How much are you paying your Social Media Manager?!?

So, since I had their attention, I decided to provoke them a little more:

You know you've won an argument when your opponent retreats into their buzzwords and canned responses.

And no, I'm not going to call the customer service hotline to address my concerns.  I'd need to go to St. Louis and smack around some nutritional executives to get anything done, and I don't think an 800 number is going to make that happen.

I have been in the pet industry for 10 years now.  I used to work for a distributor in California who sold Purina products, and who happily kicked them to the curb.  In the 21st century, you get it or you don't.  Giants like Purina, Pedigree, Science Diet and Iams were all giants in the 20th century, but...

I don't have my old cell phone from the 90's anymore.

I don't use my old Apple IIe from the 80's anymore.  (Although, the original Oregon Trail is still pretty awesome)

As technology advanced and improved, I adapted with it.  Well, pet food has done the same.

Holistic.  Grain-Free.  Limited Ingredient Diets.  Raw Foods.  All Natural.  Human Quality Ingredients.  THESE concepts are driving 21st century thinking, and unless these grocery brands can adapt, they're going to whither away.

So, to any Purina representatives reading this.  I have sold your products.  I have sold against your products (and continue to do so... thanks for making my job easy).  I know you, and I know your competition.

I read trade magazines, and have seen sales reports. They're not that good.

You have millions of dollars at your disposal, and can recapture the market.  If you are serious about being a good food for good pets, email me at  I can help you put your money where your mouth is (for a nominal fee, of course) and become what your commercials say you are.

Stop using the smoke and mirrors.  Stop saying corn/byproducts/corn as the first 3 ingredients is "nutritionally complete and balanced" and therefore is good enough!

Stop being a "good enough" food, and start being a good food.  We're in the age of 'pet parents' now, and dogs aren't just animals anymore.  Stop feeding animals, and start feeding people's 'furry children.'

...or whither away and die.  Quickly, so the masses can start looking for something better to feed their animals.

Come at me, Purina.  Come at me.
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25 witty retorts:

Workingdan said...

You go get those bastards. My dog is not just a pet, he is a family member. And he deserves to be treated as such. Would anyone feed their children only the basics to survive! Hell no!

I want chicken, I want liver, meow mix, meow mix please deliver!

lol just had to throw that in there!

Vinny C said...

If this comes down to blows between you & the Purina execs, I expect you at least post a vlog about it. The terms: No holds barred in a vat of kibble.

Melanie said...

AWESOME! I love when the little guy sticks it to The Man. You so totally rock! I can't decide which part of that made me happiest...I know which part didn't...and that has nothing to do with you...

Martina said...

Kibble wasn't even a common "grocery staple" until the 19030's-40s. I've heard it all, from people who think raw feeding is detrimental to people who actually realize that dogs have a natural intolerance/allergy to corn&corn by-products.

We buy Orijen, which is is supposedly the "#1 brand" etc. but even with all it's raw protein & animal meats, there's still flours in it (potato, some wheat) which dogs don't really need. So we supplement to try and make up for the the obvious deficiencies.

Yes dogs are omnivorous, but that doesn't mean they should eat everything just because they will.

Pish Posh said...

Nice! We want healthy affordable options for animals right meow!

AccordingtoJewels said...

Way to take them on! I loved seeing the tweets and the deserve every bit of bad press they get if they can call themselves quality food with no sense of regret. Animals getting cancer, animals overweight and unhealthy doesn't come from nowhere. Take care of your pets and they'll live longer & happier lives taking care of you as well!

Sweety Darlin said...

I have a very old kitty cat (13) and we have realized that she needs better nutrition as well. I need help though! Can you tell me what to buy for Her Royal Highness? I have had her since she was itty bitty, and I don't like grocery store crap that reads Corn By Products

Mooner In The Perti Dish said...

Brandini. Allright, Bro! The Squirt, Yoda and Honor the fucking cat have asked me to thank you on behalf of furry children everywhere.

Kidney failure, liver problems and many other pet maladies can be directly attributed to bad food products manufactured by big corporations.

I guess that's not all that different than for we furry human parents.

Jackie Jordan said...

I like your style. Controversy is the spice of life. However, as far as the pet food - not interested here, due to a vacant doghouse in the back yard. My final pet passed a couple of years ago, and I'm done with the little critters.

Brandon Lostinidaho said...

@Jackie - Thanks for the compliment. Don't fret too much on the pet food story... normal poking fun of Idaho will resume tomorrow, and in a big way.

@Sweety - I'll be emailing this to you too, but I wanted to share my response with anyone else asking a similar question:

Cats are carnivores, pure and simple. Even after 100+ generations of forcing them to eat corn, soy, etc. their bodies still can't handle grains. Their physiology just won't digest it. If you've ever seen radioactive orange poop in the cat box, it's all the grain and stuff passing through them (and stinking up the house).

Look for a grain-free diet. My favorite 3 on the market are Taste of the Wild, Earthborn Holistic, or Orijen. Orijen is a bit pricey, and I believe there is a threshold of 'great.' The quality difference between Earthborn and Orijen is minimal, but the price difference is big, but it's up to you.

Slowly transition your cat to the new diet (and the new feeding amounts) and give it about 6 months. What you're going to see is a detox phase followed by an overall healthier cat.

If there are major problems (kidney problems, crystals, etc) consult with a vet, but don't let their "OMG FEED SCIENCE DIET" jargon deter you. Vets go to school for a long time, but they aren't taught about nutrition. Vets sell science diet, and are making money being salesmen. They also benefit when your cat comes in often... (do the math)

All of the brands mentioned above can be googled easily for research, and they all have 'store locator' pages to find a dealer in your area. I hope this helps.

Hey Monkey Butt said...

Very cool post, as I said on the other one. I will def be checking out our labels from now on. There is no reason our doggie shouldn't eat as well as us and our daughter. Whewt! :) Get em Idaho!!!

The Simple Dude said...

I saw your posts and all the tweets and wondered if they would eventually respond.

Seriously... 51 followers? I could start a Twitter account for my left nut and get at least 100.


Anonymous said...

Wow! I saw your initial blog yesterday and didn't realize it had come to this.

Way to go! I will admit that my fur-kids are a very important part of my family, and you having brought this to everyone's attention should rate a high five, at least, if not a boat load of new followers.

Random Girl said...

I had a feeling that when you started calling them out by brand in your tweets that they would get back to you in some way. Good for you! I want SD to start a twitter account for his left nut, I would follow immediately!

D4 said...

Dude, those are some balls you're packing there. I hope this goes further, I hope you get under their skin and make them lose a percent of sales.

Brandon Lostinidaho said...

@SD: They're down to 49 followers now. If I helped drop their twitter followers by 4%, I can only hope to reduce their revenues by 4% as well.

That'd be at least 7 figures... I'd squee.

The Simple Dude said...

I'm drawing a blank (must be alcohol withdrawal) about the brand of dog food that we buy, but it's not Beneful. Or any Purina brand. I know it's all natural, grain-free food.

We just got dog about 3 months ago and took the advice of a clerk at a specialty dog food store that grain free was the way to go - especially since she's an older dog. I'm happy to see you confirming that for us!


G said...

you're so right about sacking their social media should write to their CEO and offer your services

meandmythinkingcap said...

This is awesome. Please do something about LG. I bought a lemon tv from them for 1300 which broke around 4th month during holidays and I got such a poor response. and they came to my home four times and one time with broken part - display panel. With no compensation at all. I have taken oath from my kids that they should never buy LG again in their life.

Simon black said...

Lol, nice post loved it.

Youngman Brown said...

What an ingenious ploy!

I will be sure to give you credit when I undoubtedly steal this idea for a cause I believe in.

Zombie said...

I loved your little analogy about the vitamin packet in a bag of tortilla chips. lol.

Sweety Darlin said...

Thanks for all your help! I love the roid rage kitty! I think I know that cat, it lives next door and is generally a real kitch! (that is a kitty bitch if you didn't know)

Granny Ook said...

Adopted a cat from an assisted living facility (her owner died suddenly) three years ago. When I got her she was a fat, sluggish hairball factory. She had been eating Science Diet. I switched her to Kirkland hairball/weight control dry food, and she's now (at 8 years old) sleek, shiny and playful, and hasn't hacked up a hairball in years. And no "radioactive bombs" in the catbox, either. Kirkland's main ingredient is meat, no corn.

Thank, Q said...

They finally hit me with a canned response on yesterday. You really got under their fur!

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