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The Day I Woke Up As A T-Rex

Yes, that was me earlier this week.

I fell asleep as a man, and woke up as a T-Rex.

As in... my arms were completely useless to me.

You see, I have trouble sleeping on the road.  I don't know if it's the strange bed, strange environment or what.  I toss, I turn, and I get on-and-off insomnia.

The other night, I took some melatonin with a beer chaser.  It knocked me out.  I fell asleep with my arms above my head, and stayed in that position all night.

When I woke up, my arms were completely numb.

(And it took me a few seconds to fully wake up enough to realize it..)

I use my phone as an alarm clock, and it has a 'slide to turn off' function.

Alarm goes off.

I roll towards the phone.  I try to turn it off, and my arms flail.

I reach, I paw, I try to turn off the alarm, and I just can't do it.  My alarm also has a 'get louder gradually' function, and it was getting louder and louder.

And, as the blood started flowing back into my limbs, I started to hurt.  IT STUNG.

Arms still flailing, I finally turn off the alarm.

With my nose.

About a minute later, my arms are back to normal (a little tingly, but normal enough) and I go about my day.

I am very very glad I was alone and on the road when that happened.  If my girlfriend was there and witnessed my struggles, I'd never live it down.
Please Share it! :)

21 witty retorts:

Vinny C said...

I think I see the problem. You shouldn't sleep on the road. It's very cold, hard and undoubtedly bad for circulation.

Lady Estrogen said...

I, too, would've found great enjoyment witnessing that. I mean........ sorry, that sucks. said...

LMAO! That was so funny B! Trust me if I was there with you I would NEVER let you forget that. This was the best laugh of the morning. Thanks B for a funny post.

Zombie said...

I've woken up a few mornings with completely dead arms and I totally feel like those wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube men. lol.

meandmythinkingcap said...

I love your dinosaur reference

Random Girl said...

This is the 3rd t-rex related post I've seen today... did I miss a dinosaur memo?? I'm sure you were quite "alarmed" at your lack of arm use but it happens to the best of us... or not...but I'm trying to make you feel better (as I laugh at the mental picture of your flailing around with a super loud alarm amping you up!)

Brandon Lostinidaho said...

To get a better mental image, this is my wake-up ringtone:

Does that help? Or just make it more ridiculous?

Adsila said...

Damn, sounds like my mornings. I wake up feeling like a 90 year old woman, stiff and achy.

Mooner Johnson said...

Brandini. The next thing to go numb when road sleeping will be your pecker. Try not to hold it while sleeping and be sure to wear only loose-fitting clothes, if you sleep with clothes.

If you have trouble waking it up, call me. I could write a book.

Annabelle said...

THAT is funny shit.

Anonymous said...

Totally cracked me up - and then I laughed all over again when I heard the alarm ring tone!

My brother once rolled over in his sleep with a numb arm that he had been sleeping on. When he rolled over the arm flew and landed on his chest with a dead thud. It felt like a foreign object to him - and his mind jumped to it being a rat. So he quickly grabbed it and threw it as far from him as he could. The result was that he almost dislocated the shoulder of the numb arm lol.

Leah said...

LMAO!!! That's so funny. Thanks for sharing. I can relate to it actually because I too sleep with my arms above my head. The aches are in my shoulders, as if they've been locked in position. Many "Oooooh's" and "Owwww's" later, they finaly make it into place and I can get up.......and walk like a stiff penguin in the direction of the bathroom :-))

A Daft Scots Lass said...

Glad you have the use of your arms back.

Not the Hero said...

I had a similar thing happen to me except it was my legs (sleeping in a back seat of a car) and I tried to walk. Didn't work out so well.

D4 said...

I kinda wish your girlfriend had seen it. Might have given stronger laughs, y'kno!

Ash-Matic said...

This sounds like something that should be done for fun!
I'm totally going to fall asleep like that, and then attempt complex tasks like making toast!
My evening is planned.

The Reckmonster said...

How do you feel about recording yourself while you sleep? You can either identify a sleep apnea or have some really awesome blog fodder.

Crack You Whip said...

You could have video-taped that for us to enjoy.

Oh, yeah, the arms and hands...


Sweety Darlin said...

So you post it on the internet for all of us to see, so that we can help you NEVER LIVE IT DOWN!!!

Your Nose?!?!? Why brain do you not have some amazing retort for this? Nosing into alarms now huh? God that sucked!

I will figure one out in about 3 hours and then have to come back! BHAHAHAHA

Thank, Q said...

That's just weird. I've had numbness in my arms before, but not to that extent. That would have caused me to panic and run around the hotel room with my arms down by my side.

Emme Rogers said...

Guessing that was a little disconcerting.

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