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10/10/12

Everybody Loves Brandon (But The Feeling Is NOT Mutual!)

My life feels like an episode of 'Everybody Loves Raymond' lately.

Remember his parents who would just show up, sometimes with notice, most times without?

Meet my inlaws as of late.  They have always done it from time to time since we moved to Idaho, but this week has been especially bothersome.

You see, we are living in my girlfriend's grandmas's house.  We moved to Idaho as a last resort, because we were being evicted from our apartment in California.  This place was available, and we were offered the chance to live here rent-free while we got on our feet.

Once we got on our feet, we started paying rent.  Too much for this little place, and we agreed to have our rent raised too...  (We saw it as a 'catching up' form of payment:  Paying rent and a little extra for past favors...)

Our rent was paying for grandma's bills.  Mortgage, taxes, utilities, and her care at the old folks home, as well as some spending cash.  When the assisted living center raised their rates, our rent got raised as well.

They did us a favor, so we did it back by paying too much for too little.

But why does having family as your landlords BLOW??

They show up unannounced, at random times during the day.  My girlfriend and I sleep in the nude and sometimes have sex spontaneously and in odd areas of the house.  We walk around in the buff from time to time.

But the inlaws will show up randomly, knock on the door, and if it's unlocked just waltz on in.  If the door is locked, they'll peer in and go "HELLO..."

Good grief, people...

I'm surprised my mother-in-law hasn't seen 'The Full Brandon' yet...

This week has been even worse, as we are getting ready to sell this house.  Grandma needs some cash, so the house is going up on the market.

I may have bitched about this once before, but this place has wall-to-wall carpet.  INCLUDING THE BATHROOM AND THE KITCHEN.  Finally mom-in-law agreed to have the bathroom redone, so we went from shag carpeting to cheap vinyl.  But this (and other spruce-ups) mean people showing up at random hours.

"We'll be there at 2pm on Saturday" means you better be prepared for a knock on the door at 8:30am.  I was at the gym, but my girlfriend thankfully got dressed at 8:25.  If she was still nude, her stepdad would have just came in and saw her in all her glory...

Tuesday was the first day in four days where they didn't just show up.  We always knew they were coming, but they would never show up when planned... either hours early or hours late.

It's making me glad we're moving.  We're tempted to get a PO box and not tell them where we live...  Regardless, it will be nice to be in a place where they don't have instant access and can show up in a moment's notice.

These last 7(ish) days are making me very 'anti-people.'  I don't know if it's because they are getting on my nerves or if it's because everyone else in this town is an asshole, but I am feeling very anti-social.

If you need me, I'll be in the corner, in the dark, plotting the demise of douchebags everywhere.
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