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Bitch Slap Those Germs With Some Funny Hand Sanitizer

A few months ago I was reading a funny article about hand sanitizers on Adventures in Estrogen, and the funny post became a reality when I spotted some of the funny bottles in a local store.

Fun conversation starter?  Check.

Effective marketing to sell hand sanitizer?  Check.

Intriguing enough for me to look for the company's website to see what else they have to offer?

You better believe it...

With names like "Cleaner than Shit" and "Thanks for Scooping My Poop," you can have a specific bottle of sanitizer for every situation!

My favorite, by far, has to be the OCD bottle.

Directions:  Open cap.  Sanitize.  Close cap.  Open cap.  Sanitize.  Close cap.  Make sure cap is firmly closed.  Recheck cap.  Are you sure it's closed?

The company also does other novelty items like gum ("I kissed a Democrat/Republican" and other fun designs) and breath spray.

This breath spray will help you look and feel Canadian.  Other sprays will help you instantly have a gay accent, or even make you enjoy your job!

And, because I love all of you, I'm going to do a give-away.

I purchased a bottle of "Wait - Was That Slutty?" hand sanitizer and will be announcing a winner on Monday, May 28th.

How can you enter?

1)  Like me on Facebook (1 entry)
2) Leave a comment here (1 entry)
3) Come up with a new and awesome hand sanitizer catch-phrase.  The top 5 will count as 5 entries!

Ready?  GO!
Please Share it! :)

19 witty retorts:

Leah said...

OMG, the guy on the OCD packaging is the spitting image of my next door neighbour!! Just sayin' xxxxxx

Zombie said...

"I think that homeless guy just touched me..."

Sweety Darlin said...

So I am pretty sure I need this stuff! The Bitch Slap and the OCD! I am sure they are the same, but I would want to make sure I had bitch slapped the germs doubly bad!

I am not really witty enough on the fly to come up with an actual name on my own! I bet it comes to me though at 2:00 AM when insomnia kicks in!

Karen said...

I love the OCD one the best. Awesome!

Got a good one for the ho's out there: "Make sure you're nice and clean...before you go near 'that thing.'

A Beer for the Shower said...

These are glorious. Marketing brilliance.

"Wash away last night's shame, you fornicating harlot."

For conservative Christian parents, mainly.

meandmythinkingcap said...

Slutty hand sanitizers:
Use this contraceptive to prevent germ spawning.
Scrub/Rub it away.
Become a killer of germs.
Condom for your hands.
After pill for Olive Garden trips.
A must to have for all MacDonalds.
Oops, it is morning I am too talking too much about contraceptives, why? yeah, my kid's daycare is closed today.

Tony Van Helsing said...

I'm going to coat myself in Bitchslap.

Hey Monkey Butt said...

bwhahah.... Those are awesome... :)

G said...

OCD! brilliant to get some of that for the wife

AccordingtoJewels said...

whelp I've liked you on facebook for there's that. I'm commenting now...score. While I feel like I used some gems at Lady E's I'll still give this a go.

"For the Dirty Stay Out on the Go!" In my G-mom's honor. ;)

"Cause she even SMELLED like an STD"

"Because you shook my hand after itching your swamp ass"

"Your oozing wounds make me gag"

"Call it a cold sore all you have herpes"'s late and that's all I got. ;)

Anonymous said...

I don't really need hand sanitizer because I like in a bubble, but I like to sniff alcohol. I find it relaxes me.

Adsila said...

It's not just for sanitizing hands anymore...

P.J. said...

Hilarious! I need to start finding stuff like this so I can blog about it, too! Way too funny. I bet this company sells a lot of items. OCD one is my favorite.

Luda said...

I want to be slutty! Make me slutty!

Leila said...

So, does the writer of "Adventures in Estrogen" not mind that your posts are nearly identical? Just sincerely curious. I know many popular bloggers are friends, and that they often work together on these things.

Brandon Lostinidaho said...

Lady E is a respected partner in crime. I let her know I was doing a 'sequel' of sorts and she loved the idea.

Hence the linkage. People who plagiarize usually don't give credit to their victims...

Lady Estrogen said...

Hehee. Yes, most definitely a partner in crime!

What DOES a Canadian smell like? Well, right now, not too fresh, I should say.

LOVE the O.C.D. one too.

Utah L said...

how bout

Cumms Clean

Thank, Q said...

LOL @ Utah L!

I'll give this a try:

New Sanitizer Names:
Better Than Spit
Toilet Water Fresh

"Because we know you didn't wash after peeing!"
"You still should have worn a condom."
"Skeet, skeet. Rub it in."

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