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I Am A Musician Without Musical Talent

In the 4th grade, I was eligible for the music program.  I chose Trumpet, my parents chose flute.

I learned to love it.

Fast forward 10 years, I'm in college, a Music Major, and learning the finer points of musicianship.  Composition.  Arranging.   Transposition.

I was good at my instrument, but I was quickly becoming more and more of a 'musician' instead of just a 'flutist.'

I loved every bit of it, until I had to learn other instruments.  You can't write for an orchestra unless you know the orchestra, right?

Woodwinds were easy.  Brass was stupidly simple.  Strings were ok, but not too difficult.

...then came piano.

For the life of me, I just couldn't master the piano.

I was a virtuoso on the left hand.  Or the right.  But combined - both hands at once - the best I could muster was 'Chopsticks.'

I failed my first piano class, because I couldn't master playing basic scales on both hands.

I tried the class again, and took piano lessons at the same time.  I would not be beat.

But beat I was, again and again.  I just couldn't do it.  And if you can't do it, you can't graduate.

I did everything else with style, bravado and humor.  I arranged the music from Super Mario Bros for a 60 piece wind ensemble, and had everyone laughing out of their chairs.  I was a soloist on more than one instrument.

But the piano made me its bitch.  Those 88 keys owned me.

These days, I still play my flute from time to time.  I scratch down some notes on paper from time to time, and I'd like to start writing more often.  To work out chords and key modulations, a piano would come in handy... but I'm afraid...  If I own a piano, I'll want to conquer it.

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5 witty retorts:

Random Girl said...

I started with piano first, I think that's why I could do other instruments because like you, I struggled with the "both hands doing something different at the same time" thing. I think learning music is the best thing you can do, regardless of which instruments you excel at or are challenged by.

MrsIraheta said...

That's why so many people start with piano. I started when I was 7 and when I got to middle school I made the xylophone, marimba, and various other percussion instruments MY bitches. I liked instruments that I could hit though. None of that blowing or stroking bull shit for me.

Brandon from said...

I'm definitely trying to get back in the game. My ex wife was a musician. I am a musician. Our kids should be learning to read music as they learn to read words.

Chubby Chatterbox said...

I have no musical ability and have always admired people who do. How wonderful it must be to be able to create music.

Pickleope said...

You brave, brave man. That photo killed me. So many memories of wedgies and missed opportunities for naked sexy time with the girl who played the sousaphone (SHE WAS THIN, I SWEAR! Also, beggars can't be choosers.). And all I played was the cymbals for a year before I pot became my best friend.

Also, why do I have Will Ferrell's version of "Aqualung" stuck in my head?

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