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7/30/12

Six Things Better Than #YOLO (and they all rhyme!)

Unless you've been living under an internet-free rock, you have probably seen the term YOLO bouncing around online, especially in social media.

Whether you blame Drake, Zach Efron, The Strokes or any of the other YOLO users over the last few years, YOLO is a popular term, meaning You Only Live Once.

It especially resonates with kids trying to look badass.  As Jack Black said, "I am fairly certain that 'YOLO' is 'Carpe Diem' for stupid people."

(now, with that correlation, imagine Robin Williams and the Dead Poets Society running around yelling "YOLO!  YOLO!"  I smell a remake...)

For those of you (like me) who think of YOLO as a lame acronym for people trying too hard, I present to you six things (that rhyme!) that are cooler than YOLO:

1)  Bolo Yeung, aka Chong Li from Bloodsport


Bolo is a martial arts badass, and plays the main antagonist in Bloodsport, the most awesomest horrible movie you'll ever see on network tv.  I grew up watching Bloodsport on Saturday afternoons, when no other programming was available (it usually started after Soul Train).  Chong Li is a scary mofo, and Bolo Yeung's face is one that will remain with me to my deathbed (that, and Jean Claude Van Damme's warcry:  BYAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!)

2)  Solo, as in the famous Red Solo Cup


Oh memories...  from picnics to keggers, most everyone has used one of these bad boys in their lifetime.  It wasn't until recently that people noticed the measurement marks on the cup: ideal for pouring booze at just the right amounts.

Toby Keith, after running out of ideas for songs, decided to sing about this cup.  My guess is he was hammered.  But those cups are good for that, aren't they?

3)  Rolos


Chocolate.  Caramel.  Times ten.  Win.

4)  Olympic Athlete Lolo Jones


She's ripped.  She's an olympian.  She jumps hurdles like you wouldn't believe.  And she's a virgin.  As of August 5th, she'll be a 30 year old virgin (10 more years and they'll make a movie out of you, Lolo!).  Personally, I think this is cheating.  Think Lance Armstrong only having one testicle, thus being more aerodynamic.  Her hymen gives her an unfair advantage against the other sluts on the track.  Go Lolo!

5) Polo

It's a fun sport, whether on the field or in the pool, and it's a cologne that most people know.


I prefer Polo Explorer.  It's different enough where people don't go "oh, you wear Polo?" but has that same Polo "ooh, you smell yummy" reaction from the ladies.  A bro-lo shouting YOLO will only make the eyes roll (...o).

Barely making the cut is...

6)  Han Solo

I mean, everyone knows Han Solo is the quintessential badass from the Star Wars trilogy, and true fans know in their heart of hearts that Han Shot First.

I mean, who else would get away with answering an "I love you" with "I know?"  If I did that, my girlfriend would sack-tap me and try it again until I answered correctly...

The reason Han is #6 on this list and barely made the cut is because of George Lucas.  First, he made Han NOT shoot first.  Then he allowed THIS to be made...


Sorry Han, your man card has now been REVOKED.  But with that said, you're still cooler than Drake or YOLO.

Did I miss any?  Are there any other 'olo's' out there to be considered?  Or are you a part of Generation YOLO?  Feel free to share, leave a comment, and join in on the fun!

(PS - This post was inspired by this next entrant.  They're not on the list, because obviously...)


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18 witty retorts:

A Beer for the Shower said...

I want to make a smart ass remark, but that Solo picture just blew my mind. I never knew that's why those lines existed. Though 5 ounces of wine... psssh, please.

Also, as a writer, I really hope that YOLO is one of those phrases that just happens to fall through the cracks and isn't somehow embedded in history.

Just Keepin It Real, Folks! said...

I pity the fool who deflowers Lolo. She is gonna rip him apart with those muscles.

Zombie said...

That whole han solo song may be the only reason I would want to buy a kinect. lol.

Brandon Lostinidaho said...

Whomever 'conquers the Lolo' better be a Marathon man... she may be a sprinter but she looks like she can go for hours!

Lady Estrogen said...

DO THE TRASH COMPACTOR! OMG, why, of why does that exisit?! It's funny in the most sadly horrific way possible. Especially since he just turned 70 ;(

Vinny C said...

I'd almost fforgotten that Han Solo Kinect dance but you just *had* to bring it back up again. Didn't you? Now it's going to be playing in my head for the rest off the day.

L-Kat said...

I guess I've been hiding under a rock, because I haven't heard this term. I'm not too upset by this. I am upset that it's taken me this long to understand solo cups. Um, why don't they just print labels like Booze, Wine, Beer directly onto the cup?

Adsila said...

Thanks for the education on the red solo cups lines. It will make drinking easier.

J.Day said...

I can't unsee that video. Whose bright idea what THAT horrible monstrosity??

Becky said...

Ah I hate the Yolo thing. It's just an excuse to do whatever the hell you want. Guess what? You don't need a douchtastic phrase to do that.

Amy said...

Red Solo Cup plays whenever my redneck brother in law calls. I never dreamed we'd find a theme song for him so perfect. Thank you, Toby Keith.

JHJohnson said...

"It especially resonates with kids trying to look badass. As Jack Black said, "I am fairly certain that 'YOLO' is 'Carpe Diem' for stupid people.""

Love it.

Christian at Point Counter-Point Point Point said...

Oh man I think I have been using those red solo cups wrong. I thought the line right above the beer line was for liquor.

Workingdan said...

I always thought yolo came from a kids movie, Megamind, in which the blue villain answers the phone with a "Yolo?"

I must live under a rock!

Hannah said...

I had no idea that those lines on the solo cup had a purpose! Brilliant! But I have to agree with A Beer For the Shower. 5 oz of wine?! That's like an appetizer. But then again, who drinks wine from a solo cup? Or liquor for that matter? It seems like a pretty big cup for 1 little teeny tiny ounce of liquor.

And I'm cracking up after reading Workingdan's comment! That was such a funny line from that movie!

Crack You Whip said...

Rolo. Yes, I can do that one. No problemo.

G said...

yep Rolo would be my choice over YOLO

Thank, Q said...

I am definitely down with Lolo! She can get it. for a full four minutes, too. Anyhoo, Bolo was my favorite kung fu bad guy in every movie he played in. He's like 1,000 years old, but he was the truth.

YOLO's concept is stupid as it's portrayed by the rappers/singers. It basically means, act a fool and hope the charges get thrown out of court.

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