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7/27/12

Walmart After Dark

I try to stay away from Walmart as often as I can.  They kill small businesses, don't pay their employees a fair wage with benefits, and just feel like douchebags to me.

But this is a story of when I went to Walmart at 1am and the amusement from the trip.

My girlfriend and I were finishing up a 'couples' night with our friends when we realized we needed something.  Tonight.  Couldn't wait.  The only place open that had said thing was Walmart, so off we went.

It was 1am, but the parking lot was a madhouse.  Not only was it packed, but everyone walking/driving around seemed under the influence of something.  I'm not sure if it was alcohol, meth, bath salts or what, but drivers were swervy and angry, and people just seemed... well... stoned off their asses.

Inside the Walmart is a Subway restaurant.  Subway was featuring their new 'Nachos' which consisted of Doritos chips, nacho cheese sauce and jalapeno peppers.

Subway was packed.  All the stoners/drunks were gorging on the nachos, and proclaiming how great they were.  Praises included:

"Badass"

"Boss"

"Like, they're like, um, ...whoa."

And more.

Girlfriend and I got our thing, but were too amused by the sights to just leave.  It was people-watching heaven, so we wandered around.

The back half of the store was much less eventful, with tired people meandering through the aisles, and workers frantically restocking the shelves.

...and that's when I saw it.


We were in the boys section, and a rogue apostrophe found it's way onto one of the signs.  'Boys' turned into 'boy's' in a mere 40 feet...

But that's not all...


Since we have a lot of mormons in town that like to stockpile food, our Walmart has a preparedness center.  You can buy cans of 'instant' food with amazingly long shelf lives, and staples by the canister. The sign above the preparedness center proudly reads "From Our Family to Your's."

...

That rogue apostrophe sure gets around, and this was becoming a game for us.  Upon further inspection, the clothing departments were riddled with them:


Walmart is based in Bentonville, Arkansas.  Arkansas ranks 45th in the nation in overall education.

...

...I'll let that digest a bit.

And if anyone in the Walmart Marketing & Merchandising departments see this, here's a site where you can brush up on your apostrophe use.

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