Ads 468x60px

Subscribe:

7/27/12

Walmart After Dark

I try to stay away from Walmart as often as I can.  They kill small businesses, don't pay their employees a fair wage with benefits, and just feel like douchebags to me.

But this is a story of when I went to Walmart at 1am and the amusement from the trip.

My girlfriend and I were finishing up a 'couples' night with our friends when we realized we needed something.  Tonight.  Couldn't wait.  The only place open that had said thing was Walmart, so off we went.

It was 1am, but the parking lot was a madhouse.  Not only was it packed, but everyone walking/driving around seemed under the influence of something.  I'm not sure if it was alcohol, meth, bath salts or what, but drivers were swervy and angry, and people just seemed... well... stoned off their asses.

Inside the Walmart is a Subway restaurant.  Subway was featuring their new 'Nachos' which consisted of Doritos chips, nacho cheese sauce and jalapeno peppers.

Subway was packed.  All the stoners/drunks were gorging on the nachos, and proclaiming how great they were.  Praises included:

"Badass"

"Boss"

"Like, they're like, um, ...whoa."

And more.

Girlfriend and I got our thing, but were too amused by the sights to just leave.  It was people-watching heaven, so we wandered around.

The back half of the store was much less eventful, with tired people meandering through the aisles, and workers frantically restocking the shelves.

...and that's when I saw it.


We were in the boys section, and a rogue apostrophe found it's way onto one of the signs.  'Boys' turned into 'boy's' in a mere 40 feet...

But that's not all...


Since we have a lot of mormons in town that like to stockpile food, our Walmart has a preparedness center.  You can buy cans of 'instant' food with amazingly long shelf lives, and staples by the canister. The sign above the preparedness center proudly reads "From Our Family to Your's."

...

That rogue apostrophe sure gets around, and this was becoming a game for us.  Upon further inspection, the clothing departments were riddled with them:


Walmart is based in Bentonville, Arkansas.  Arkansas ranks 45th in the nation in overall education.

...

...I'll let that digest a bit.

And if anyone in the Walmart Marketing & Merchandising departments see this, here's a site where you can brush up on your apostrophe use.

Thank's!
Please Share it! :)

20 witty retorts:

Mynx said...

you are going to have me looking closer at the signs at my local shopping centre now. Sometimes I wish we had Walmart here simply for the entertainment factor

Addman said...

Rogue apostrophe's? I hope someone burn's that place down.

Joking aside, what is that preparedness centre all about? As I'm from a part of the world with relatively few Mormons, it seems a bit strange to me.

Al Penwasser said...

A Walmart Apostrohpe: Akin to a Rogue Mullet.

Michael G DAgostino said...

I read that website and that's just way too many rules to remember.

Hey Monkey Butt said...

Yea, we have very very few Mormons here as well. We do see them biking/walking down the roads with their outfits on sometimes though. Not in a while, guess they graduated to ..... what? I've read your blog for a while, the Mormons have to have their shelves prepared, right? We were at Walmart last night.. yea. It was...awful.

L-Kat said...

HA. The sad thing is I just expect these grammatical mistakes from Walmart, so I don't even notice them. :)

Zombie said...

Someone at Walmart does not know how to use proper punctuation! lol

AccordingtoJewels said...

Oh my goodness. That would drive me insane! I have to start paying more attention. I wonder is shops around me have the same mistakes. Damn it...I'm going to turn into a signage Nazi now.

Brandon Lostinidaho said...

@Addman, Mormons believe you should have at least a year's food supply stockpiled, just in case the end of the world (or the zombie apocalypse) comes to be. Think the boy scout motto, but ramped up a bit.

Lady Estrogen said...

Hahaha, gawd, you are good at spotting these signs - or maybe they're just a lot more common in the places you travel. lol

Out of Barnes said...

They're everywhere not just Walmart.

Thank, Q said...

That's humiliating to have mistakes at that level. You would think that they would have someone policing that.

Something Authorly said...

Some of these are conceivably correct. The "boy's" section is correct if one is thinking of it as possessive (think your parent's room). The confusion is that almost every other label in large stores doesn't use this method. You have the chips aisle or the bakery section. And there is no explanation for having it used both ways within 40 feet of each other.

jp said...

I should work at Walmart because I have struggled blindly with apostrophes. Useful link, now I is cured of all grammatical ill's :P

JHJohnson said...

I'm also curious about this preparedness center. I think you should do another post and delve into this one a bit more ...

Brandon Lostinidaho said...

Always important to look at links... :)

http://www.lostinidaho.me/2012/02/correlation-between-extreme-couponing.html

This link is just below the preparedness picture. It explains the concept, in a way.

Emme Rogers said...

That's funny. And I'm completely with you on Walmart.

NellieVaughn said...

I don't mind stupidity because it never fails to be funny.

Aimee Giese said...

That is hilarious, but hate to say it - you have a rouge apostrophe in your "it's" up there with boy's. ;)

Unless that was on purpose's?

Brandon Lostinidaho said...

Haha, yes it was... I was wondering if anyone would notice it...

Post a Comment

Comments are always appreciated. Sometimes they end up being better than the initial post! Come join in on the fun... (and remember, you can post anonymously)

And if you like the post, feel free to share! Stumble, Digg, Tweet, go bananas!