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I Dun Goof'd (aka, Nothing on the Internet is Original)

I've had a fun Saturday.

Back in 2011, I wrote a post about silly Vagina names.  It was my first Half-assed weekend post (copyright The Simple Dude, I think, probably not, but maybe) and I just popped out something silly.

I compiled the list from a trending twitter hashtag, and then coming up with some 'original' ones as well (based on what I read).  It probably took about 10 minutes to throw everything together, and it's somehow been viewed almost 13,000 times.  It's my 7th most popular post ever.

It turns out some of those names were used before me on another blog back in 2009.  And this guy apparently owns those phrases, so he commented on my blog.  And then found me on twitter.  He threatened to call the cyber police.

I was shaking in my boots.

But then I noticed something, looking at his twitter account:

This is all he does now.  His blog hasn't had a new post since 2011 (or maybe he's just dating things as 'old?'  I can actually change the 'post date' on this blog post to look like I wrote it in 1980 if I wanted to...) and all he does on Twitter these days is harass other people for "stealing his content."

He ran out of witty things to say, so he's fiercely protecting what little he has.  It's kind of cute, like a starving wild animal hoarding it's last sliver of food...

Blogs, social media, and the internet in general is about sharing.  We see things that amuse us and share with our friends and followers.

But if this guy said it before you did, he gets upset.  You stole his intellectual property and he'll come after you.  Consequences will never be the same. (not my original content, please don't sue me...)

I know for a fact that I'm not the first person in existence to fuck my cat with a q-tip to get her to shut up.  But because I was the first to write about it on the internet, I must have invented it, right?


And to the person on 4chan who made the trollface and all the other memes I use from time to time, I'm sorry for 'stealing' your precious work.  But feel free to assume it's memegenerator that invented those, instead of just mainstreaming them...

What I'm trying to get at is nothing is 'original' on the internet.  Something you do will be shared, often without someone giving credit where credit is due.  Even the things I discuss aren't original.  Someone somewhere at some point has had the same experiences.  I don't claim anything.

But this scrub still boggles my mind.  Imagine if every comic in existence decided to copyright their act, word for word... and every time anyone says anything they'd get sued or threatened.  And every amateur trying to be original did the same...

I would never be able to say "bite me" because some kid in the 1940's said it first.  He owns that phrase, how dare I use it.

Oh well.  Out of respect (and to get him to shut up) I deleted the 3 vagina names he 'owns.'  Now, if you want to call her pussy 'the down south mouth' you have to have him OK it first.  You got that?

...don't fuck with the internet.  You will be backtraced...
Please Share it! :)

7 witty retorts:

Youngman Brown said...

It's tough. I have a bunch of posts mostly written but then another blogger that I follow will post something on the same topic of something I have already written. And then I feel like I am copying from them if I post it later.

married women said...

Brandon some dude really did copy my stuff. Like word for word. And said he wrote them. I oughta sic your guy on him. They are made for each other.

Kat said...

What a douchecanoe (bloody hell I hope he didn't use that term!). With the number of bloggers and people in general on the Interbutz, it's only natural that things are going to be repeated. Most of the time it's not done with malice--or even intentional because I know that I will hear a word, add it to my vocabulary and then forget where it came from so I'm sure that blog posts of mine have elements in them that are elsewhere. I've tried to give credit when I consciously aware that another post inspired me and I want to do my own spin, but geez, I'm getting old and I can't remember all of this shit!

Brandon from said...

THIS. Did I say something he said already? Yep. Does that mean I stole from him? Absolutely not.

It's like a funny joke. It gets passed around and around until the originator comes along and says YOU CAN'T SAY THAT! IT'S MY JOKE!! ME ME ME MINE MINE MINE...

Brandon from said...

My favorite part is he still wants to bitch. I blocked them from commenting here (I don't want his sad little blog backlinking on mine) so he's campaigning on Facebook and pestering me on twitter.

His 'proof?' Google searches. Silly rabbit, there are so many websites out there that google doesn't crawl. People block google specifically (I've considered it myself) and there are other ways to search the infamous 'deep web.'

Oh well. I'm moving on. I don't expect him to, but this isn't the first time I've pissed someone off online. Ob la di, ob la da (I didn't write that, don't sue).

Pickleope said...

I get what you're saying. After having read your particular brand of madness for nearly two years now (yep, it has been that long, sir), that there are ideas in the zeitgeist, similar thoughts colliding, with a certain amount of creative overlap being inevitable.
But I wanted to make sure we delineate the difference between similar ideas and outright intellectual thievery (of which you are obviously not guilty).
There are plenty of original ideas created and espoused on the internet and we should respect those ideas. This is not one of those cases. This dingleberry misguidedly thought silly vagina names were somehow sacred. Booooooo to him.
We should watch out for intellectual thievery, but also for nincompoops hell bent on trademarking general thoughts. Like someone who would trademark rhyming "love" and "above".

Brandon from said...

Asshattery flourishes on the internet.

And no, I didn't steal that from anywhere, but I'm probably not the first to say it.

Well said, my briny friend.

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