MOPI (me) in a Nutshell

Since I am a judge on Blogger Idol this year, I am going to be getting a lot of new faces on this blog.

And for all of you who have been here for a few months and aren't generally impressed, I'm getting back into the game (slowly).  I'm still trying to find my groove after my dad's death, so please bear with me a little longer (and bare with me if you're hot).

I'll do my best to describe myself as briefly as possible.  With links.  If you want to dig deeper, clicky clicky.

I started this blog when I moved from California to Idaho.  With the move, I now experience 4 real seasons (snow! yay?), xenophobic mormons (who don't believe in dinosaurs) and rednecks galore.  The culture clash (combined with unemployment) lead to me starting this page.  It has evolved to a general humor blog, but I still make fun of Idaho as much as possible.

Things I blog about:

- Bikini bars and sex-starved Idahoans

- Mormons mormons mormons (search 'LDS' on this page and see how they're really closet sex-freaks)

- Taking ex-lax for the very first time

- I travel a lot for work.  When I get bored, this happens.  And this.

- I'm 900 miles from my kids.  I blog about them from time to time, but try to keep things mostly private for their sake.

- Funny laws in Idaho, and what happens when I try to break them.

- Oh, and I painted a picture with my penis once, and I may have masturbated my cat.  So there's that...

- And, of course, funny stories from work.

Feel free to dig around.  I also have a facebook page where I whore myself out

Like this, but without tits.  Cuz I'm a guy.  And I don't have moobs.

and keep the masses entertained.  If you like what you see, feel free to follow my shenanigans and let me entertain you.  Thanks for reading!

Al Larson: Idaho's 'Bluebird Man'

Preface:  This blog is mostly about humor and culture, and I poke fun of Idaho a lot.  A LOT.  However, the Gem State does have a few gems in it.  I was approached to do a guest post about Idaho's "Bluebird Man" and a kickstarter campaign to help produce a documentary.  I did research on this guy and Idaho's state bird, and it absolutely fascinated me.  Apologies for the lack of 'funny' today, but this is actually worth the read.  I'm happy to support a good cause like this, and applaud The Bluebird Man for his efforts.

Idaho is home to a huge diversity of nature landscapes and many spectacular mountain ranges.  One such area that is often overlooked is the Owyhee Mountain range along the Idaho-Oregon border.  This is where the main character of our new documentary film “Bluebird Man” grew up in the 1930s, at the height of the Great Depression.  Al Larson was 12 years old when his mother died and he was sent out to the Owyhees to live with his two older brothers in a small ranching community near Jordan Valley.  Al spent two years attending school at the small one-room schoolhouse in Pleasant Valley, ID before starting work as a ranch hand.  It was on the ranch that he saw his first Mountain Bluebird perched on a fencepost.  This memory would stick in his mind for decades to come and eventually shape the course of his long life.

            By 1978 Al had served in WWII, raised a family in Boise, worked for many years at a sawmill, and helped found Idaho’s first chapter of the Audubon Society.  He was looking for a retirement project when he came across a National Geographic article about precipitous declines in bluebird populations across the continent.  That same year Al put out his first nest boxes designed specifically for bluebirds.

           

Al taught himself everything that he needed to know to monitor and maintain his bluebird boxes and within just a handful of years he was monitoring and maintaining hundreds of boxes and fledging close to 1,000 bluebird chicks each year!  Today, at age 91, Al has over 300 nest boxes that he takes care of and calls his own.  What started as a retirement project has become his life’s work.

            Telling Al’s story is hugely important to us for a number of reasons.  First and foremost, we hope to inspire the next generation of conservationists and bluebird enthusiasts by highlighting Al’s unique role in this conservation effort.  We also hope to show how beneficial Al’s relationship with his bluebirds is for both him and the birds.  While the bluebirds receive additional nesting habitat from Al, from the bluebirds Al has been given the focus and energy that has kept him active and alert into his 90s.

            Become a part of Al’s story by backing “Bluebird Man” on Kickstarter.  You will be ensuring, not just that our film gets made, but that Al’s legacy continues.

Link to “Bluebird Man” Kickstarter page:  http://kck.st/128GNK1il.com

“Bluebird Man” website:  BluebirdMan.com

Wild Lens website:  WildLensInc.org

“Bluebird Man” facebook page:  facebook.com/BluebirdManFilm

Wild Lens twitter feed:  twitter.com/WildLensInc

St. Patrick's Day FAIL

St. Patrick's Day is quickly approaching.  Along with Mardi Gras and Cinco de Mayo, St. Paddy's is one of the holy trinity of drinking holidays.

And personally, it's my favorite.  Green beer galore, as well as beautiful women wearing 'kiss me, I'm Irish' shirts?  I'm there.

In anticipation for this event, I went to twitter to show my love for this March holiday, as well as show my apprehension.

You see, there are a lot of idiots out there who don't know what the official food is for St. Patrick's Day.

As you and I know, it's corned beef & cabbage.  'Corned' as in peppercorned brisket.  Too many people out there call it 'corn beef & cabbage,' even though I've never seen corn served with the meal...

So I post this on twitter:

  
And then find a dozen or so idiots that have already made the mistake:

My head hurts from the massive amounts of fail, but I move on and go to sleep.

Then, the very next morning, I see THIS downtown:

It's like the gods are mocking me...  The famous North Hiway cafe strikes again.  They're famous for having the sign that reads "Home cook'n when your not home cook'n" so I expect no less from them.

Oh well.  I'm going to go get a head of cabbage, a can of creamed corn and a hamburger patty.  I'm going to celebrate early, and do it fail-style.  Who else wants some corn beef & cabbage??

Review Of The Celt Pub In Idaho Falls

The Celt Pub and Grill is the newest eatery/bar in Idaho Falls, and has been hyped up for the better part of a year.

Finally, FINALLY they opened, and were instantly packed.  So much so they had to limit the amount of people coming in, and received some backlash.

I decided to wait a few weeks before doing, so the crowds can calm down and the restaurant can find their groove.  I'm wondering if I didn't wait long enough??

I checked first, and they recommended reservations.  My girlfriend and I were doing a double-date on Friday night, so I made the reservation for us.  Four people, seven pm.  Easy peasy.  (...right?)

We showed up, the place was packed, and they didn't have a table for us.  The owner/manager (or the oldest host I've ever met) came up to us, welcomed us and basically told us it's a free-for-all, get in where you can.

I told him we made a reservation for a table.  His answer?  "Well, a lot of people make reservations."  After seeing us glare at him, he went to go look for a table.

As we were seated, we noticed two major things:

- No queue area, where you can easily wait to be seated.  It went from door to madness instantly, with about 3 feet of foyer.  The second we stepped inside we were in people's ways.

- HORRIBLE crowd noise.  It's a hardwood floor, hardwood bar and high ceilings, with very poor acoustics.  You could hear everyone's conversation but the people right next to you.

...meh.  We grinned and beared it.

I enjoyed the fact that the men were in slacks and 'Celt' polos, while the women all had to wear Scottish kilts.  (totally not sexist or discriminatory at all).  Jameson Whiskey and Guinness led me to believe this was an Irish pub, but the girls look Scottish to me.  Kilts in Ireland, Wales etc didn't catch on until the 20th century, so I see kilts as a Scottish thing...

The reception was poor (being brushed off as you walk in the door?  NOT cool).  The service was below-average.  The food was good (4 out of 5 stars) but their menu selection was very minimal.  I had a 'Cajun Jameson Burger,' marinated in Jameson Whiskey, covered in cajun spices and topped with kroeger-brand shredded cheddar cheese (big pile in the middle, wafer-shreds on the sides).  The burger tasted good, but the Jameson was the only 'Celtish' thing about it.  I was expecting something more... I dunno... Irish?  Pasties, Stew, Bangers, not burgers and pastrami sandwiches.

The Celt is more bar than bar & grill...  If there's a next time, I'm just going for drinks.

On a bar level, there are better choices in town.  The mixed drinks here are WAY overpriced and the bar atmosphere is a half-assed copy of other places in town.

"We have bigscreens like a sports bar!"  Yeah, but not many and they were all turned to obscure sports nobody cared about.

"We have a dartboard like a pub!"  Yeah, one.  Other bars in this area have at least three, because some people in town are big on darts.

"We have a pool table!"

Heh....

They seated us at a high-top table next to the pool table.  When I say 'next' we were 2 feet away from the table, meaning anyone playing only had three sides to work from.

Unless you're a rude drunk douchebag...

Meet PWT, who looked a LOT like Christina Aguilera pictured here.  She had big boobs, bleach-blonde hair, and you could tell she had on some Spanx to suck that gut in.

Man oh man, she looked like a can of biscuits ready to burst... and she thought she was the hottest person in the building.

She wants to make a shot, but our table is in the way.  She says "sorry" and tries to work around us.  After a few seconds, she turns around again and says "I said I'm sorry, now are you going to be rude about it or are you gonna move out of my way?"

...what...

Oh no you di'int...

At that point we had all had a few drinks, and Miss PWT was hammered before she walked in the door.

The vibe was getting more and more tense, and I was expecting one of the girls at my table to start a chick fight.  Her date, Mr "Miller High Life" felt the tension too but didn't care.  She keeps talking trash about us, we keep talking about her, and finally we left before hair was pulled and Spanx burst from a pressure overload...

While she was absolutely rude about the situation, I blame The Celt for not planning their layout any better than they did.  Stack a full table of diners next to a pool table, add booze, and it's a recipe for disaster.

Especially since you had such a skewed customer base there... There were well-to-do people eating there, enjoying wine and a (semi) nice meal to the tune of $75+, but you also had drunken hillbilly bar-hoppers trying to start fights.

Bad, bad mix.

All in all, I have to rate The Celt as 'meh.'  2.5, MAYBE 3 stars out of 5.  It's in a historic spot and the food was ok.  My girl and I had a decent meal and 2 beers each, and the ticket (after 20% tip, I don't know why...) was still under $40.  If they expand their menu, maybe make it a little more authentic, and figure a way to keep the diners and the drunkies happy (and separate) they will do a better job.  Otherwise, when the allure of a new hangout fades, their business will too.

As for me, if I want a pub done right I'll head over to the Stone of Accord in Missoula.  Irish food, Irish spirits, and a much much MUCH better experience overall.  Sadly, The Celt doesn't compare to a good Irish pub... but a lot of Eastern Idahoans probably don't know what they're missing.

Here's Your Sign: Idaho Edition

Spotted in Idaho Falls:

...it makes you wonder... are they short a few reader-board letters, or are they short a few brain cells?

Either way, it made me smile... Enjoy your weekend!

The Rise and Fall of The Villa Coffeehouse (and what small businesses can learn from them)

(Edit:  The owner of the Villa has seen this post and responded in a comment.  Be sure to read the entire conversation below to get the full story)


One of my more regular hangouts (when I'm actually in town) is The Villa Coffeehouse.  It's in 'historic' downtown Idaho Falls, and is an independently-owned business with a fantastic environment.

The Villa has been the subject of an early observations post and is where I do a lot of writing.

This means I have seen the flow of traffic over the last 18 months.  I talked to the old owner on a regular basis, and I chat with the new owners from time to time.

I'm considered a 'regular' and have helped them with business-building ideas from time to time.  Like any good entrepreneur, the first bit of advice is always free.

When the new ownership took over, there was a lot of excitement on both sides of the counter.  The customers were excited to see what new life would be injected into the business, and the baristas were hoping for more foot traffic (and more stability in their jobs).

Sadly, business looks on and off to me.  As I am writing this, I am one of 7 customers here, and it's still considered "lunch rush" time.  Traffic is stagnant because they're not drawing in the business.

Conversely, there is now only one barista that has been employed here for more than 60 days.  Three (of their core of four) have left in the last 2 weeks.

One moved to Boise.  Legitimate excuse to leave.

Another left because "it fucking sucks here" and she wants to go back to school.

The third left because financial ends were not being met, and getting a bump in pay wasn't going to happen.  She left for greener pastures, and I wish her well.

That leaves one girl who knows what she's doing, along with a bunch of coffee-newbs.  Customers are noticing this mass-exodus and are considering fleeing as well.  I can't wait to see what happens to this place in the next 3-6 months...

So...  what would I have done differently, and what would I recommend to small businesses everywhere?

Marketing:  It shouldn't be a scary word...

GREAT QUESTION!

First and foremost, I would make sure that there is enough personnel to handle the day-to-day business.

The Villa recently decided to open on Sundays, and are now open evenings on 4 nights (used to be 7-4 Mon-Sat).  This meant the business was open an additional 22(ish) hours, yet their employee count remained the same.

It's always better to have a 'spare' employee when you're working in the foodservice industry.  If one person calls in sick or quits unexpectedly, you can handle it without a spare.  If multiple employees do, you're screwed.

Secondly, if you're going to expand hours of operation, make sure you fill those hours.  On a recent Thursday, I was at The Villa from 3pm until closing at 8.  Besides the one barista working, I was the only one there.  No need to be open those extra hours if nobody is coming.

So let's fill the place, shall we?

Since over 60% of Americans go to Starbucks at least once a month, you are probably aware of the "hot in the morning, cold in the evening" promotion 'Da Bucks' has been doing lately.  Buy a hot coffee in the morning, get a discount on a cold drink in the evening.  It reminds people "Yes, we're open in the evening as well.  Come get a Frappuccino" and it works.  It's good for business.

Evening events at least once a month would be fantastic.  There is a lot of "hang out" space to utilize, so turn this place into a social hot-spot.

Lastly, know your surroundings.  It is 86 degrees outside right now.  Not a good time to be a coffee shop.  Promote iced drinks, italian sodas, blended drinks and the like.  Snowcone booths are open and doing well, which means extra competition.  Now is the time to focus on smoothies (and not soups or steamers).

As a small business owner, you need to be engaged in your business.  Make sure you grow or shrink based on traffic flow.  If business is slow, you need to shave off 'dead' hours or promote promote promote.  Marketing can't be a 4-letter word.  Most importantly, retain your good employees.  If you don't treat your employees right, another employer will.  One of the girls that left was the best latte maker of the bunch.  Without being too unreasonable, I would have tried to keep her if I could.  A coffee shop is only as good as their coffee, and their coffee is only as good as the baristas serving it.  $1-2 an hour more to keep someone who pulls perfect shot after perfect shot of espresso sounds like a bargain to me.

Good luck, Villa.  You still have my business while your doors remain open, but the empty echo in here is beginning to get on my nerves....  I hope to see this place packed to the gills with happy patrons soon!

Local Business Spotlight - Pie Hole Pizza

I was having a twitter conversation with Sare a week ago, where we were discussing her Idaho exploits and some neat things in the area that I have missed.

She mentioned a pizza place in nearby Pocatello Idaho, called Pie Hole Pizza.

And I instantly fall in love.  I HAVE to go check this place out, simply based on their awesome name.

Well I did, and I have to say, I was fairly impressed.

...mostly.

When I first arrived, I liked the overall look of the exterior.  It had the 'hole in the wall' vibe going on without looking too trashy:

Three things I noticed right away:

- The "we are open late" sign, followed by
- The large amount of bars in the area (coincidence??)
- The $1 Pabst Blue Ribbon cans, all day every day.  (Have I just walked into a hipster pizza joint?)

Inside, you can tell this place is a college hangout.  Idaho State University is in town, and Pie Hole is definitely catering to that crowd.  Snowboards line the walls as decorations.  There is a chalk-written menu.  Odd art on the walls.  Electric stoner-funk playing though the speakers.

Me, at 31, felt a little old in this place.  But I really liked the atmosphere.

*click to enlarge*

The menu here is plain and simple.

- Pizza
- Soda
- Beer
- Repeat

They had 'create your own' options as well as house specials.  The one catching my eye the most was their Potato & Bacon pizza.  It uses alfredo sauce instead of marinara, and then, well, potatoes and bacon.

Sounds odd, doesn't it?  Well, when I was there, 3 out of 5 people were ordering that...

Service was friendly, beer was cheap, and they served pizza by the slice.  If I'm a poor college student or a hungry stoner, this place seems like a great fit.

But what about a traveling salesman, just looking for some good road food?

(Notice how I haven't talked about the food yet?)

A pizza place lives and dies by their pizza, and the pies at Pie Hole are just...

...meh.

You know those mall pizza places?  (Sbarro, I think?)  Yeah, the pizza looks and tastes like that. Flimsy thin crust, gigantic pepperoni slices that your teeth can't cut though, so you get the whole damn thing, and grease grease grease.

But, I paid $4.40 for a slice and a soda.  Overall, I think I got what I paid for...

If this were a newspaper-esque restaurant review, I would give an overall rating of 4 stars out of 5.  GREAT marks on ambiance, service and price, but the food brings the rating down.  It's not bad, not bad at all, but not as high-quality as some other pizza joints.

But, alas, Pie Hole also has locations in the Boise market.  I'll probably be back, so shove more pie down my piehole...

Idaho's Finest - Signage Showing Stupidity

If you have been following this blog for a while, you've probably seen multiple posts about signs and banners in my town that make me cringe.

Spelling and/or grammar mistakes galore.  It's an editor's nightmare, but makes writing daily posts for this blog simple.

Oh, and if you're newish, don't worry.  I'll be doing a 'best of the worst' post in the days to come.

The most recent addition is the Kia dealership in town. In front of their lot reads a sign that says "Idaho's TRUCK HeadQuarter's."

I'm not joking.

...in fact, I didn't even know Kia had trucks...

I've rolled past this sign many-a-time without really glancing at it, but one day it just screamed at me.  At first, I only noticed the capital Q.  Then, upon further inspection, my stomach began to turn.

Thank you, Stone's Kia of Idaho Falls.  You make my job as a blogger easy, and you give me one more reason why I'll never buy a Kia.

Idaho Loves Ron Paul! (Idaho Mormons Love Mitt Romney)

Ron Paul, bros!

As in, Idaho loves him.

(Except for Idaho's Mormon population, who obviously love Mitt Romney)

The potato state is showing more support and signage for Paul than any other candidate, and voting time is drawing near.  (Idaho's caucus is March 6)

Like Out of Barnes mentioned on my post yesterday:

And it's true.  If you look at the recent dozen presidential elections, Idaho, Utah and Montana are always heavily red.  And by heavy, I mean in the 90% range.  It's insane.  I can't think of any blue state that is as blue as these states are red.

So... how crazy "enthusiastic" are Idahoans for Ron Paul?  See for yourself.

Spotted in Idaho Falls, this dude covered (COVERED) his car in Ron Paul bumper stickers.  He has stickers in his rear window.  And he jacked a Papa John's delivery car-hat-thingy and covered THAT in Ron Paul love as well.

Dude is DECKED OUT.

Now, question... If Paul doesn't get the Republican nomination, how pissed off will this guy be?  Bumper stickers are a pain to get off.  One is bad enough, but dozens???

Sh*t Mormons Say

Today is going to be brief, because it's going to be a long day for me.  Busy with work, busy with travel, and by the end of the day I hope to be 700 miles from here.

So today I present to you a compilation of videos, some made by actual Mormons, some made by mocking observers.

Either way, they're funny as hell.  That is, if you believe in hell.

I present.... Shit Mormons say.  Walk around an Eastern Idaho mall on a Saturday, and you'll hear at least 60% of these 'isms' within an hour.

"I bless this donut... to strengthen and nourish my body..."

Driving In Idaho? Beware '1J' Drivers.

In Idaho, you can typically tell where a person is from by their license plate.  The plates are coded by county.  For example, '1A' is for Ada county residents, which include the city of Boise.

If you are interested (why?) you can find a full listing of plate codes by county here.

1J stands for Jefferson county, which covers a few small towns in Eastern Idaho.  I don't know what it is about residents of this county, but all the crazy drivers on the roads seem to have '1J' plates.

Maybe it's due to the fact there aren't any major cities in Jefferson county?  It, like many parts of Idaho, is full of small towns and a lot of open farm roads.   Not a lot of traffic, and you can usually drive like a kook without a lot of consequence.

Coincidentally, Idahoans love their Walmart.  The closest Walmart to Jefferson county is on the eastern fringe of my town.  The same area is where the mall is, as well as most major shops.

If you want to go to the movies, you get to brave the 1J crowd.

If you are going to the mall and the roads are icy, beware the 1J-ers... they slide.  A lot.

Even when I'm 250+ miles west, and driving around in Boise, a stray 1J-er will appear on the road, changing lanes aggressively without signaling, and often chatting/texting on their phone.

(which is legal in the state of Idaho...)

1J-ers are usually overly-aggressive or a little unaware of their surroundings.  If you spot a 1J vehicle, be sure to give a lot of extra room, and keep your distance.  Eye contact only enrages them, so make sure to avoid provocation of any kind.

Are there any crazies where you live?  How do they make themselves known?  Please share by commenting below, and make sure to beware any Idaho plate with a 1J moniker....

Idaho Radio Station to Listeners - "Don't Trust."

In Eastern Idaho, good radio is hard to come by.  If you're looking for "The Hits" you're going to find one or two heavily censored stations playing the family-friendliest Top 40 they can find.

If sex, drugs, or any type of shenanigans are involved, expect to be blocked.

For example, Bruno Mars' "Lazy Song" has a lyric of "Met a really nice girl, have some really nice sex."  Most radio stations play the lyric in full.  Some of the more cautious stations will cover up the word 'sex.'  Idaho's #1 Hits Station (pictured to the left) takes out "really nice sex" because they not only want to block the idea of sex from your mind, but also block the fact that sex can be GOOD.

Remember folks, I live in an area where most kids wait until marriage.  Not kicking the tires before you drive the car sometimes leaves you with a lemon, and I wouldn't be surprised if a large number of people here see sex as a 'chore' instead of something designed to, you know, actually FEEL GOOD.

I was prompted to write this post because of their rendition of 3OH!3's "Don't Trust Me."  The lyrics for the chorus go:

"Don't trust a ho / never trust a ho / won't trust a ho cause the ho won't trust me."

The radio's version?

"Don't trust. (music)  Never trust. (music)  Don't trust. (music music)  Trust me."

Wow, subliminal enough for ya???  No wonder so many of the locals are xenophobic...

Word.

Don't get me wrong.  This is a public radio station, and there are influential kids listening to this, because their parents don't mind them listening to Lady Gaga and what she likes to do with a Disco Stick.

By all means.  Take out swear words.  Take out phrases like "sex you up" or "let's get high," but some of their cut-outs are just ridiculous.

Maroon 5 mentioning getting naked?  Cut it out.  People may be born naked, but it's not natural... *cough*

Trying to take a song like "Suga Suga" by Baby Bash, which is half about getting high, and trying to make it family friendly?  Don't even bother.

Playing Rihanna's 'S&M' and taking out all the references to actual S&M leave you with a 3 minute instrumental.  Yet you try.

Best of all, during the weekend they go to syndication and play Ryan Seacrest's Weekly Top 40.  The heavily censored songs are now less-heavily-censored, undermining EVERYTHING they do Monday thru Friday...

Oh well... *turns iPod on*

50 Cent Loves Idaho Falls

Yes, you heard right.  The town I live in, the town with well over 90% whites, the town where Mormons rule.

50 Cent is reppin Idaho Falls.

In his new music video "Waiting For Tonight" you can see Mr. Cent sporting a hat from a local minor league baseball team, the Idaho Falls Chukars.

What's funny about it?  I bought the same exact hat for my 3yo son earlier this year.

And that's the only thing my son and 'fiddy' have in common.

Here's the music video:

And here's a screenshot from the video:

Yup yup, I.F. is in tha house.

It's a badass lookin bird, but I'd love to find out why he picked this hat.  Is it because it's a minor league team for the Royals?  Is he a KC fan?

Is it because it's an angry looking bird?

Is it a shout out to his peeps in Eastern Idaho?  All seven of us?

Either way, I found this extremely entertaining.

I'm wondering if it could be profitable... I may buy a few hats from the clubhouse and see if they have any value on ebay as 50 cent memorabilia?

Next up?  Pictures of Kanye West at Idaho's 'Famous Potatoes' museum.  If only...

Hotel Fun: Proofreading the Lol's

In a hotel.

Again.

Like always.

And I'm looking for entertainment.

I found myself randomly reading the information sheet on the inside of the door.  It lets you know the layout of your floor (where the ice machine is, etc.) and instructs you on proper disaster measures.

This particular La Quinta had a fun typo.  I'm overlooking the 'pop' machine, since it should be soda (ugh... pop...) but I'm focusing more on the fire safety, if a fire is actually in your room.

What would YOU do if there was a fire inside your hotel room and you weren't able to safely distinguish it??

dis·tin·guish  (d-stnggwsh)

v. dis·tin·guished, dis·tin·guish·ing, dis·tin·guish·es

v.tr.

1. To perceive as being different or distinct.

2. To perceive distinctly; discern: distinguished the masts of ships on the horizon.

3. To make noticeable or different; set apart.

4. To cause (oneself) to be eminent or recognized: They have distinguished themselves as dedicated social workers.

v.intr.

To perceive or indicate differences; discriminate: distinguish between right and wrong.

ex·tin·guish  (k-stnggwsh)

tr.v. ex·tin·guished, ex·tin·guish·ing, ex·tin·guish·es

1. To put out (a fire, for example); quench.

2. To put an end to (hopes, for example); destroy. See Synonyms at abolish.

3. To obscure; eclipse.

Is It White Christmas Time Yet?

Mid-December, 2010:

Mid-December, 2011:

I'm grateful the roads are clear, since I drive for a living.  I'm grateful I haven't spent countless hours shoveling sidewalks and driveways until I'm out of breath.

But still... I live in Idaho.  Can I at least have a white Christmas?

I know, I know... you can't have your cake and eat it too.  But I wouldn't mind a little blizzard in the next few days...

...just sayin....

BYU Idaho Bans Skinny Jeans (But Doesn't) - Mormon Hipsters Cry Out in Protest

Skinny Jeans.  Form-fitting denim making hot girls hotter and hipster boys look weird.

And now, subject of another Mormon controversy.

Recently, BYU-Idaho in Rexburg has banned skinny jeans on their campus.

But they haven't.

But they have.

You see, all BYU students have to agree to an Honor Code that tells you how not to dress, how not to act, and what you're not allowed to do while attending their school.  If you break the Honor Code, you're out.  (Example:  BYU Basketball player has sex and gets suspended)

Some rules in the Honor Code include:

• Use Clean Language (...yeah, fucker...)
• Abstain from alcohol, tobacco, coffee, tea, and substance abuse  (TEA?)
• Live a chase and virtuous life (aka: NO SEX)
• Observe the Dress and Grooming Standards, which includes a ban on form fitting clothing and short skirts.

Posted at the BYU-I Campus

Form Fitting clothing?  Yep, that's skinny jeans.  So, in fact, they've always been a major no-no.

Once again, BYU is in the news because of their Honor Code.  It seems excessive, yes, but if you go to school there, you agree to those rules.

If you don't know what you're getting into, poor Mormon students, IT'S YOUR OWN DAMN FAULT.

(oops, I said 'damn...')

A few months ago, the BYU scandal was a major sports player getting in trouble for (GASP!) having sex.  Now, it's about skinny jeans being vulgar.  I give the major media outlets until February to jump on "STUDENT SUSPENDED FOR HAVING A STARBUCKS CUP IN CLASS" just to keep the Mormon taboo in the news.

To the outside world, these rules look silly.  And, in my opinion, they are.  Go to college and NOT have sex?  Men aren't allowed to have long hair?  Women aren't allowed to have more than one piercing in their ear?  TEA is banned?  TEA?

But these kids know what they're getting into when they enroll at BYU.  And they agree to these silly rules.  They, in essence, should know better.

Sadly, Mormon Hipsters everywhere are up in arms...

Poor mormon hipsters...