Walmart After Dark

I try to stay away from Walmart as often as I can.  They kill small businesses, don't pay their employees a fair wage with benefits, and just feel like douchebags to me.

But this is a story of when I went to Walmart at 1am and the amusement from the trip.

My girlfriend and I were finishing up a 'couples' night with our friends when we realized we needed something.  Tonight.  Couldn't wait.  The only place open that had said thing was Walmart, so off we went.

It was 1am, but the parking lot was a madhouse.  Not only was it packed, but everyone walking/driving around seemed under the influence of something.  I'm not sure if it was alcohol, meth, bath salts or what, but drivers were swervy and angry, and people just seemed... well... stoned off their asses.

Inside the Walmart is a Subway restaurant.  Subway was featuring their new 'Nachos' which consisted of Doritos chips, nacho cheese sauce and jalapeno peppers.

Subway was packed.  All the stoners/drunks were gorging on the nachos, and proclaiming how great they were.  Praises included:

"Badass"

"Boss"

"Like, they're like, um, ...whoa."

And more.

Girlfriend and I got our thing, but were too amused by the sights to just leave.  It was people-watching heaven, so we wandered around.

The back half of the store was much less eventful, with tired people meandering through the aisles, and workers frantically restocking the shelves.

...and that's when I saw it.

We were in the boys section, and a rogue apostrophe found it's way onto one of the signs.  'Boys' turned into 'boy's' in a mere 40 feet...

But that's not all...

Since we have a lot of mormons in town that like to stockpile food, our Walmart has a preparedness center.  You can buy cans of 'instant' food with amazingly long shelf lives, and staples by the canister. The sign above the preparedness center proudly reads "From Our Family to Your's."

...

That rogue apostrophe sure gets around, and this was becoming a game for us.  Upon further inspection, the clothing departments were riddled with them:

Walmart is based in Bentonville, Arkansas.  Arkansas ranks 45th in the nation in overall education.

...

...I'll let that digest a bit.

And if anyone in the Walmart Marketing & Merchandising departments see this, here's a site where you can brush up on your apostrophe use.

Thank's!

Idaho's Finest - Signage Showing Stupidity

If you have been following this blog for a while, you've probably seen multiple posts about signs and banners in my town that make me cringe.

Spelling and/or grammar mistakes galore.  It's an editor's nightmare, but makes writing daily posts for this blog simple.

Oh, and if you're newish, don't worry.  I'll be doing a 'best of the worst' post in the days to come.

The most recent addition is the Kia dealership in town. In front of their lot reads a sign that says "Idaho's TRUCK HeadQuarter's."

I'm not joking.

...in fact, I didn't even know Kia had trucks...

I've rolled past this sign many-a-time without really glancing at it, but one day it just screamed at me.  At first, I only noticed the capital Q.  Then, upon further inspection, my stomach began to turn.

Thank you, Stone's Kia of Idaho Falls.  You make my job as a blogger easy, and you give me one more reason why I'll never buy a Kia.

Your Welcome

I believe you left this over at my place.

It's your 'welcome.'  Here ya go...

Whenever someone in twitter, facebook or texting uses "Your Welcome," pull this image out and see if they get it.  If not, you can:

- Point

- Laugh

- and walk away like this...

Another Grammar Rant - Presidential Edition

Many people are guilty of using bad grammar.  From students to doctors and everyone in between, words like 'acrosst' and 'worthwild' pop out of people's mouths on a semi regular basis.

But where do you draw the line?  Is it ok for your teacher or professor to use incorrect grammar?  Of course not.  It undermines their ability to be a positive example.  What about your boss?  If you're working for a person who can't speak or type well, what does that do to your morale as a worker?

What about... a President?  Can you stomach listening to a presidential speech when the person is using words like 'unpossible' or 'irregardless?'

It's like nails on a chalkboard to me.  Which is why I don't think I can vote for this man:

I consider myself to be a centrist.  I lean left on a lot of issues, and lean right on others.  For example, I like Herman Cain's idea of simplifying the tax code and implementing a flat tax across the board.  I think, of all the GOP nominees left, this guy might actually make a halfway decent President.  But even if he were saying all the right things, I don't think I can vote for him.

You see, he's the consummate businessman.  He used the be the VP of Pillsbury.  He used to be the CEO of Godfather's Pizza.  He has an MBA.  Well educated, well vetted man, right?

Then why was he on a talk show a few day ago, using words like 'unpossible' and 'irregardless?'  I was listening to Fox Radio while driving to this week's work area (only station that had reception) and Sean Hannity was interviewing Mr. Cain.  The conversation was a fairly good one, but this man's grammar, misuse of words, and poor contextualization turned me off as a potential voter.

Any President can hire a good speech writer and speak to the masses.  They can come off as eloquent, educated, and trusting.  But when you hear a dude speak from the cuff, and he can't speak proper English... it reflects poorly on what he stands for.

When I hear 'unpossible' I think of Ralph Wiggum from the Simpsons:

You wouldn't vote for Ralph Wiggum, would you?

Without Further Adieu...

I'm not a grammar nazi, but I CAN'T STAND when people misuse words.  Granted, I overuse and often-abuse the comma, and am guilty of a few run-on sentences, but that's besides the point.

(did you catch that?)

Here are the most misused words/phrases I encounter when reading blogs or living my life:

Regardless vs Irregardless:  Regardless means just that.  Without regard.  When used in a sentence:  "I'm going to eat that Double Double, regardless of the saturated fat content."  The prefix ir- is a negative prefix. Adding it to regardless is making a double negative, so if you're going to use it, use it ironically and let the double negatives flow.

Without further ado vs adieu:   The definition of 'ado' is fluff / hubbub / crap.  Shakespeare's "Much ado about nothing" could easily be rewritten as "A lot of crap about nothing" and it would still have the same feel.  Oh wait, they redid that in the 90's and made Seinfeld.  My bad.  'Adieu' means goodbye.  Does "without further goodbye" make any sense?  I think not.

Compliment vs Complement:  A compliment is something nice someone says about you, like "your ass looks smokin in those jeans."  A complement is something that supplements something else.  Peanut butter complements jelly nicely, but not bacon.

Criteria:  The singular form of criteria is criterion.  If you only have one criteria, you probably say octopuses as well (oh, and spellcheck didn't catch that one... hmm...)

Ensure vs Insure:  One is a drink for old people, and a guarantee of sorts.  Another is so easy a caveman can do it.  Can you tell which is which?

Easy ones like to/too/two and they're/there/their still happen all too commonly.  These mistakes not only happen in blogs, but in major print.  When I'm reading USA Today or even the local paper, I want to go into a rage-fit when I see these mistakes.

Who vs Whom is one of my favorites, and a hard fight to fight.  Ask not for whom the bell tolls.  It tolls for thee.  If you're writing about an object (the bell that tolls) you use whom.  If you're writing about a subject, like The Lone Ranger, you would say "Who was that masked man?"  Get it?  No?  Ugh...

Ok, so maybe I am a little of a grammar nazi.  I'm not perfect by any means, but I paid enough attention in class not to do the blatant.

I bet my composition teacher would smile if she had the chance to read my blog.  I'd probably get a solid B or B+.  I fragment a lot, and type the way I talk, but still do an overall good job.

What grammar mistakes do YOU see often?  Feel free to sound off and comment below...

...and feel free to point out any errors I made in this post...