Still recovering from the death of my dad, so expect posts to be half-assed and semi-sporadic for a week or two. My apologies in advance. I'll be back to my regular 'tapdancing monkey' self in no time.
For now, I wanted to share this with you:
But everything pales in comparison to...
The Package is a 3-treat-pack consisting of a 6" bully stick (aka penis) and the scrotum. They're odorless, oven-dried, and dogs go bananas for them.
But... The Package... well, the slogan sums it up: "It Is What It Is."
As a salesman, I have to think of ways to sell this product to customers. I get to walk into retail stores and go 'hey, look at my package' and 'my package is going to make you a LOT of money.'
...do you wanna touch it? Here, touch it...
I have such a 'hard' job...
And the jokes just keep on coming. As a male, I have prepared 32 years for the chance to tell penis jokes and get paid for it, and here I am.
|Side view. I'm sorry.|
(Fun fact: Bully sticks are cut and sold in different sizes. The 'full cane' is usually a 36" long tallywhacker of chewy goodness, and retails anywhere from $17 to $35 depending on quality and thickness. And now you know...)
What's funny is the first thing out of my mouth when I saw this treat was "That's six inches? Are you sure, that looks a little small..." and instantly THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID popped into my brain.
I may make the world of pet supplies look sexy and glamorous, but this product proves it's not all sunshine and unicorn-farts. The Package is serious business, and with luck, will be a good moneymaker for me.
It has come to this... I am selling my package to make a living... for some reason, I'm not that surprised.