Return of the Clean Meter: Time to boost my score

Thank you all for participating in yesterday's Cleanmeter fun.  Not only was it a well-received post, but insanely popular as well.  It was the #1 viewed post of the day, and after just one day it became the post of the week, and the 3rd-most viewed post of the month!

It just goes to show that everyone loves some good *cough* clean fun...

But, how to follow such an awesome post?

Well, why not bring it back, and try to boost my score?  I was mid-yellow as of yesterday, and plan on fixing that little snafu.

Over Memorial Day weekend, I did a post listing off a gaggle of funny vagina names.  It was fun, was widely popular, and I've been wanting to do something similar for a while.  Today is that day.  My followers, I bring to you:

The top 20 euphemisms for male and female masturbation.  I'll be doing 20 of each so sit back, dim the lights, put on some 'mood music' and don't let anyone catch you.

Male:

20. Wasting Paste
19. A date with Pamela Handerson
18. Roughing up the suspect
17. Applying the hand-brake
16. Building upper-body strength
15. Cleaning your rifle
14. Waxing the surfboard
13. Shakin' hands with the unemployed
12. Painting the ceiling
11. The five-knuckle shuffle

10. Hand to gland combat
9. Turning japanese (yes, bad taste, but I laughed a little...)
8. Disobeying the Pope
7. Checking the Oil
6. Arm aerobics
5. Lightsaber Practice with Captain Solo (nerd alert!)
4. Playing with the Pink Power Ranger
3. Sanding your banister
2. Zoot Flute Riot (5-points if you get the reference)
1. Pitching a knuckleball

Female:

20. Sending muffin morse code
19. The two-finger tango
18. Stirring the sauce
17. Makin some soup
16. Tending your own garden
15. Double clicking the mouse
14. Going fishing with the man in the boat
13. Defrosting the fridge
12. Stirring the honey pot
11. Doing your nails
10. Twinkling the little star

9. Visiting the safety deposit box
8. Testing the plumbing
7. Tickling the tuna
6. Making kitty purr
5. Getting a jiffy-lube
4. Doing the two-finger slit rumba
3. Finger-painting
2. Flipping the light switch repeatedly (OCD much?)
1.  Shuffling your iPod



Ok, so let's see what this little post did to my cleanmeter rating, shall we??




...excellent...

If I missed any good ones, please let me know by leaving a comment below.  Thanks for playing!

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