Muslim Women Banned from Eating Bananas, Carrots, and Other Phallic Food

Bananas.  The phallic fruit.  Used in sex ed classes, and loved by men everywhere when a woman peels one and shoves it in her mouth.

And now, according to news stories hitting the web, banned in Islam.

According to news reports coming from the middle east, an unnamed Islamic cleric is now discouraging women from eating bananas, cucumbers, carrots, and other fruit shaped in a penis-like way.

The reasoning?  This may tempt Muslim women to become sexually active, or put sexual thoughts into their head.

If your Muslim woman loves carrots and bananas, there is still a way for them to enjoy these nutritional (and tasty) foods:

A man (husband, brother, father) is to retire to a place where the woman cannot see, and cut the food into pieces that do not resemble the original phallic shape.

In other words, if it's shaped like a pee-pee, it's not allowed.

Someone sarcastically asked the cleric how they would control their women in the marketplace, where bananas and other 'forbidden' foods are in abundance.  His response?  "That is between them and their Lord."

Since I live in the land of Modesty (thanks to the LDS majority in town), this news report made me smirk.  I can see the mormon church adopting this stance, just because you wouldn't want to taint or corrupt the minds of young women everywhere...

I mean, skinny jeans are banned.... why not carrots and corn dogs?  You'll never see a Starbucks within two miles of a BYU Campus... but come to think of it, you don't see any Weinerschnitzel's either...

What is your opinion on this law?

Is it silly, or can you see the intent behind this decree?

I know a handful of women who have used cucumbers or other foods as sexual objects, when they were young and couldn't buy toys.

Is this the fault of the person or the food?

How long before we see mockers and crazy people taking bananas and carrots to Mosques, and trying to hand them out to Muslim women?

How long before some porn company makes the Ultimate Taboo flick:  A Muslim woman in a Burka, eating a corn dog, surrounded by bananas?

And how long did you stare at that cucumber??

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