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12/1/11

I painted a picture with my penis, and this is the result (warning: buttcheek sighting)

A few weeks ago I wrote a post about a famous artist named Pricasso, and boasted "Well, if HE can do it, so can I."

I asked for ideas to paint, and the randomly selected subject was:  My Girlfriend.

I started with these materials...

Technically those are FINGER paints...
...and this photo for inspiration...

A candid of my girlfriend
I sketched out the basic layout I wanted, deciding the laptop was more of a distraction and could be left out of the painting (that, and I didn't know how much detail work I would be able to do with my "paint brush")


I started painting, and found out a few fun facts when using your penis as a paintbrush...

First off, the texture of the canvas is, well, interesting. Trying to find words is kind of difficult, actually.  The cold smoothness of the paint coupled with the dry coarseness of the canvas... well... yeah.  Interesting.

The penis also has a naturally 'broad' brush stroke.  You can fix this (and add more detail to the picture) by squeezing parts of it to a small tip, then dabbing the paint on a smaller surface.  When doing shadowing (hair, shoulder blades) this technique comes in handy.

Handy... trying to forgo the puns here, but it's hard... (gah! did it again!)

All in all, I think I did fairly well.  I changed the background a little, and couldn't quite capture all the curves I wanted to, but considering this is my first painting (AND WITH MY WANG, NO LESS) I'm pretty pleased.

At first, I wanted to hold an auction for the painting.  If I'm ever a world-famous blogger, this thing could be worth big bucks.  However, my gf likes it too much.  She wants it, and is considering framing it.

Maybe that means I'll have to do another one later, for sale to the public?

Oh... and you don't need to ask.  Like a good artist, I signed my work...

Can you guess HOW I signed it???
I await your harsh criticism.  Today, everyone gets to be an art critic!!
Please Share it! :)