The rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated...

Judgement day has begun...

Or, at least according to my internet.

It has been on and off all weekend, and is now completely dead.  Techs coming tomorrow, but this is why I have been absent from my normal internet shenanigans lately.

In honor of the internet being a big pile of fail, and to continue the Sunday Silliness tradition, I present to you some lols.  Normal programming will resume Monday.

It's not true!!!!  IT'S NOT TRUE!!!

Q???  Is this you???

And of course, no page making fun of the interwebs is complete without this vid...

Mr T says to Treat Your Mother Right! (Sunday Silliness Redux)

My friend just sent me this vid, and it HAS to be shared.  Enjoy, fools....

Sunday Silliness: Office Drama - Fridge Edition

Happy Sunday to all!

Recently, I had my lunch pilfered at work.  It made me grumpy, but as usual, I'm turning lemons into lemonade.

Enjoy these pictures of other office shenanigans, involving community fridges and sticky fingers:

So THAT's why my ovaries feel weird!!

Outdated, yes.  But still funny.

Did anyone else read "Who moved my cheese?" back
in the early 2000's?  I'm reminded of that book...

OMG!  NOT THE MUFFINS!!!!

This is brilliant.  Big props to miss red-ink.

A lot of work for a joke, but well played.

What a nice victim.

I'm sorry Dave.  I can't let you do that...

$5 says a woman posted the white post-it.
Why?  Guys don't care if they're fat.  Just sayin.

Jesus loves you.  Even when you jack his Diet Coke.

Have a great Sunday, and a Happy Mother's Day.  I'm going to be calling my ma later today, as well as doing dinner with the 'mom in law' tonight.

Now, go call your mom and wish her a Happy Mother's Day, dammit!

Sunday Silliness: Tattoos, Taxes, and Dancing Presidents

I don't know what my problem is, but I've wanted a tattoo for over 3 years, but have always found some excuse to not get it.

I fell in love with this design when my life started getting chaotic.  I see this as "within chaos, there becomes order."  After my divorce, and especially after my move, this idea became more and more meaningful to me.  Life around me is getting chaotic, and I will always try to keep my center calm.

Purchased in 2008.  This year,
it WILL end up on me.

One thing I may add to it would be the names of my two boys, placed within the yin-yang pattern.  This would be for two reasons.  They are my center.  They keep me calm.  I do what I do because of them, and for them.  Also, they are yin and yang when it comes to their personalities.  I love them both dearly, but sometimes I wonder if they are truly brothers.

I'm kind of in a grumpy mood today, because I still need to finish my taxes for this year.  I normally don't put them off this late, but here it is, April 10.  I file electronically, and have been doing my own taxes since my first job.  Now I do my girl's taxes as well as my own, because she hates it.  Hers are done and filed.  Mine, not so much.

Part of that is because of my ex.  We purchased a home together right before the split, and she collected a first-time homebuyer's credit for it.  My ssn was linked to that purchase, so when it came time to repay some of that credit (*cough* now...) the tax man reminded me.  I went to file, and was instantly denied.  "Where's our money?  Remember that home you purchased in 2008?  Remember that credit?  It was a loan.  Time to pay some of it back..."

It took me a while on how to do it, but I figured out how to put on my tax forms that I shouldn't have to pay any of it back.  Now, let's see if they agree.  *gulp*

For a lighter side, I want to present this video.  It was passed to me by a Facebook friend, and I instantly fell in love with it.

Firstly, name 3 presidents who have boogied on National Television.  You got Obie here, and Bill Clinton... #3?  Anyone?  I think it's admirable to come on TV and show a lighter side.  Show you're human. Even if you're a horrible dancer.  (Are we sure he's black?  Dude's got NO rhythm... oh wait, that was yesterday's post...)

Secondly, the Rickroll is SOOOO 2 years ago.  Time for it to be revamped, and I nominate this.

Lastly, with congress finally putting a budget together, and us avoiding a MAJOR government shutdown, this video seems relevant.  I bet the Prez is dancing in the oval office, glad that angry mobs with torches & pitchforks aren't beating down the whitehouse door.  After all, if anything goes wrong in this country, it's HIS fault, right?  (just in case you can't feel the sarcasm, let me point it out)

Anyway, happy Sunday.   If you need me, I'll be finishing up my taxes.

Sunday Silliness: More Groveling, and a Catchy Tune

Today is the last day to vote for the stunner tournament.  Voting polls are above, as well as the submissions for both Mommy Confessions and I.

Help me beat mommy!

No!  Not like this!  I just want more votes than her...

Also, ever since I mentioned my credit woes on a previous post, I have had the song(s) from Free Credit Report dot com stuck in my head.

Because of this, I thought I'd share, so you can suffer along side with me.

Voting ends at midnight eastern tonight!  Hope I didn't just lose your vote by posting this vid...  but seriously... when is the last time you went to FREEEEEEEEE CREDIT... REPORT DOT COM.....

And more importantly, why aren't their commercials on anymore?

Hehehe, happy Sunday everyone.

Sunday Silliness: Self-Reflection and Shocking Songs

I miss my dad, but I don't.

He and my mom divorced about 3 years back, and he became Mr. Grumpypants to the extreme.  But at the same time, he's my dad.  He is an out of work insulator, that probably has mesothelioma because of all the asbestos he's worked with over the years.  I haven't talked to him in over 2 years.

The last time we spoke a lot is when I was driving him to the hospital so he could have his radiation therapy done on some cancerous spots they found in his throat.  That was 2008.  Since then, he's moved in with his parents in AZ, and become a total recluse.  I speak with Grandma and Grandpa at times, but never hear about dad.  Is his cancer gone?  Does he have mesothelioma?  Did he contact those lawyers you see on TV?  Is he still an asshole?

Oh well.  I know he's not dead, because I'm his main beneficiary in his will.  I'd be informed of his death.  So that's good, at least.  I guess...


Ok, onto the lighter side of things.  I have a twitter account (@Spud_Slinger) and my blogging contest competition and I have been going back and forth with jokes and jabs.  We eventually started talking about "The shocker."

Don't knock it til you try it

Q, the MC of the blogging battle, had no idea what that was.  So I, um, popped his cherry by showing him this video.

Enjoy!

Sunday Silliness: SEO and Super Mario

I didn't even have a lot of time to celebrate hitting my 400th follower, because all of a sudden I blinked and was at 403.  This latest milestone made me smile.

A few people ask how I do it.  Simple, I network, and I make sure my blog can easily be found.

I have had dozens find me through google alone.  If you look at my traffic referrals, google is easily my overall #1 source.

One thing that helps a lot are my images.  I make sure to name my image files with clear and easy to find names now.   It took me a while to start doing this.  If you look at my first post, the image files are names 'images' or 'idaho2newlarger.jpeg.'  Not exactly things people search for.

Now, if people look for Charlie Sheen pictures with his army of assassins, or funny meth pictures, or 'derp' faces, I'm there.  Taco trucks, dj's, evil kittehs, I'm there.  And every little bit helps. If you look at more recent stats, you can see specific images that people find, and the broad keyword searches they use to find me.

To my first 400+, I thank you.  I look forward to growing with you, and hope to grow to 1,000 and beyond with your support.

Almost as an afterthought, here is the mandatory goofiness for the weekend.  The song seems appropriate, and this vid combines one of my favorite bands with one of my favorite video games.  Enjoy the show!

Thanks again.  Much love.

Sunday Silliness: Haters Gonna Hate...

I have won the godaddy battle, and am now officially www.lostinidaho.me.  Wooo!

Today, to celebrate the absurd, I present to you two videos.

First is the newest by Charlie Sheen.  He teamed up with Funny or Die to make this hilarious vid.

I can't tell if he's laughing at himself, and poking fun of his idiocy, or if he truly believes this crap.  Either way, this is gold.


Next up is a classic.  This was inspired by a conversation I had with another blogger.

(this isn't verbatim, but you get the gist)

Her: I didn't get any last night.  I'm sad.  My husband fell asleep on the couch.

Me:  Why not wake him up with a bj?  He wouldn't be sleeping for long.  We men LOVE surprises like that.

Her:  I dunno.  I'm afraid he will pee on me in his sleep, and I don't want that.

...

Warm hand in a bowl of water, sure.  Maybe.  But I don't think I've ever came close to wetting the bed under these circumstances....

So, without naming names... Ms Blogger, this is for you.  <3

Enjoy your Sunday, everyone.

And on the 7th Day, Idaho Rested

I have lived in some interesting places before, but I haven't lived anywhere so deeply rooted in their faith as Idaho.

Granted, there are different faiths up here, but one thing is common for most of them.  Sunday is holy, therefore it's time to close up shop.

Happy Ash Wednesday, btw, to my Catholic friends.  What did you give up for Lent?  Not blogging I hope...

To all the non-biscuit eaters, happy Wednesday.  More specifically, happy hangover day to the Fat Tuesday crowd.

The majority of this area is deeply religious.  Whether LDS, Christian, or any branchoff from there, almost everything gets closed down on Sunday while people go to church.

Genesis 2:2 says "On the seventh day God had finished his work of creation, so he rested from all his work." Therefore we must as well, apparently.

Now, I have a faith, in a way, but I'm not a church goer.  I have been to churches in the past, and bounced from catholicism to christianity, to Jehovah's witnesses, and dabbled a bit.  They're all basically the same, just each branchoff focuses on certain tenets of the bible while ignoring other parts.

I look at it all from a logical standpoint, see the contradictions and the absurdities, read the bible as a reference and not the black-and-white end all be all, and therefore I am "an evil free thinker" in the eyes of many.

I use Sunday to get things done.  Yardwork, chores, shopping, etc.  I catch up on Sundays.  In this town, it's severely frowned-upon.  If I'm mowing the lawn, I get glared at.  If I'm about town and not dressed in my Sunday finest, people keep their distance.  It's actually a little funny.

The closest thing to compare is when I lived in Loma Linda, California.  It was primarily a '7th Day Adventist' town, so it was like this, only Saturday.  Yes, the mail was even delivered on Sunday, not Saturday.  WTF??

A lot of people in this town have the mentality of "This is what I believe, therefore most everyone should believe the same."  Unless you're on one side or the other on the mormon-fence, than it's slightly different.  But still, if people ask me "Are you LDS?" and I say no, they sometimes follow it up with "Ok, what church do you go to in town?"  Um... I have yet to come up with a snappy response for this, so help me out people.

I try not to live a closed minded life.  I want to look at everything from all angles; religion, politics, culture, and make my own decision from there.  Is that so bad?  When I see something that amuses me, I'll crack a joke about it, but at the same time I'll respect your right to practice your own belief system.

In other words, my Mormon friends, just because I don't believe the things you do, and just because some of the things mentioned in your book make me really confused, it doesn't mean that I don't respect your family-centric values, and the good upright life you're trying to lead.

I just have one rule.  Don't press your beliefs on me, and don't belittle me because my practices don't align with yours.  I won't pressure you, and you don't pressure me.  Mutual respect... 

"Oh he doesn't believe what I do, therefore I MUST EDUCATE HIM!" doesn't work for me.  Especially when you're a naive girl in your low 20's who "felt soooo sorry for me" once she learned I was divorced.  Um, it was by choice sister... and it's a good thing.   I promise....

Or else I'll post something like this, just for the pleasure of getting under your skin.

By the way, none of this 'mutual respect' I am talking about applies to the members of the Westboro Baptist Church.  You people are just plain crazy....   Have a great Wednesday everyone!  

Edit:  Ok, within the course of an hour I have received a LOT of angry emails from people.  Apparently I'm allowed to poke fun of mormons all I want, but if I pick on some of the larger 'mainstream' religions I'm evil?

Yeah, that makes perfect sense.  About as much sense as someone who has read ANY of the New Testament using any sentence that starts with "God hates...."

I do not abhor religion.  I abhor the people that use religion as a shield, as a crutch, as an answer to all questions they don't know or refuse to learn about.

If you are praying that you get the job, I have news for you.  About half of the other applicants are probably doing the same thing.  This isn't 'Prayer Idol' with Ryan Seacrest tallying up the prayer-votes to see who wins.  If a higher power does indeed exist, he isn't making sure you brush your teeth every morning.  He didn't make you stub your toe on the chair.  He didn't make your car stall this morning.  

Your goldfish didn't die because God willed it, Timmy.  He died because you didn't feed him...

I admire a few things about religion.  It helped control society by giving people a set of rules to guide their life.  It teaches us to be good people.  It helped progress human culture in a lot of positive ways.  But there are a lot of bad things about religion too.  Wars, for example.  God is always on your side, yet, the other side believes the same thing.  Does God really want you to slaughter your fellow man?  And for what?  Oil?  Land?  Political power?  Really?

Substitute the word "God" for any higher deity.  No matter what you call Him, the principles stay the same.

Followers, I like you all.  But I don't like you because you are XYZ religion.  I like you for who you are as a person.  Does your belief system influence who you are?  Absolutely.  But your belief system isn't the definition of who you are.  In my eyes, you are not a Christian.  You are not a Muslim.  You are not an Atheist.  You are not a pastafarian.  You are a man.  You are a woman.  You are a friend.  If that is too much for you to fathom, I am sorry.

Sunday Sillyness: Tyra... you so crazy...

As a teenager in the 90's, I had a fun array of celebrities and models to, um, "inspire" me.

One of my favorite models, BY FAR, was Tyra Banks.

The eyes, the hair, the skin, the CURVES... Tyra was a goddess to me.  I bought her Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue in 1997, and wore that magazine OUT.

When they started showing Victoria's Secret shows on TV, I'd lock myself in my bedroom and practically go blind...

So naturally, when I heard she was getting her own show in 2003, I watched.  America's Next Top Model was my guilty pleasure.

Season 1 aired, and it made me fall for Tyra even more.  Not only is she GORGEOUS, but she's down-to-Earth too.  She has a sense of humor, and is more 'real' than I thought.

But as the show continued from season to season....

Tyra started to lose her appeal to me...

This bitch is just plain crazy...

When she spawned 'The Tyra Show,' I was no longer attracted to her.

I'm sorry, I don't care how good you look, or if your boobs are God's gift to men everywhere.  The second you go psycho, my peepee shrivels.

Sorry Tyra. 10 years ago, I would have done EVERYTHING to you.  Now, I'm just worried for you... Maybe it has to do with her hair color?  Too much bleach is rotting her brain?  Or is she turning into the stereotypical blonde?  Either way, run and hide...

Sunday Sillyness: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

So my laptop is dead.  DEAD.   It won't start up.  The fans come on, and the initial 'click' of the drives happen, but the BIOS or starting screen won't pop up.  I've troubleshooted online, and it says it could be a memory issue, motherboard or CPU.  I'm worried it could be one of those, plus a nasty virus.  I reformatted my comp about a month ago, and my antivirus software has miraculously found nothing since then.  No spyware, no viruses.  Awfully fishy.

So I'm dead in the water right now.  I'm borrowing my gf's laptop to post this, since we have 2 machines in the house.  @#$%^&^$#@@#$%^&

Anyway, here are two vids that cheered me up a little, and I hope they will bring a smile to your face too.  Two ridiculous videos from two awesome bands.  Enjoy!