Hot Dogs Cause BUTT CANCER (among other things)

I was aghast (and amused) when I read a recent news article about hot dogs and butt cancer.

You see, PCRM is mentioning a study where processed meats can increase colorectal cancer risk.  However, putting BUTT CANCER in big bold letters on a Chicago billboard is much more fun.

My favorite paragraph of the article says "Janet Riley, president of the hot dog council (ha!!) said in a statement that hot dogs are 'part of a healthy, balanced diet.'...."

First off, a hot dog council sounds epic.  Secondly, part of a healthy, balanced diet?  Could you imagine hot dog commercials using that as a tag line?  I know cereal companies do, but hot dogs?!?  SOMEONE NEEDS TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN.

Depending on which side you are on, this is either showing people the truth about processed meats, or this is just propaganda from a PETA-esque company.  Either or, it makes for some good humor.

Besides butt cancer, hot dogs are also known to:

Turn Men On (when used properly)

Turn Men Off (when used improperly)

Bring your mind into the gutter...

Cost you a run for the US Presidency...

Create internet lol's galore...

And, every now and then, just look kind of gay.
(See?  Even Michelle is confused by Barack's... um... enthusiasm.)

So yes, hot dogs are extremely versatile, cause butt cancer, are a part of a complete and balanced diet, and WILL DRIVE YOU INSANE.

Sunday Silliness: Self-Reflection and Shocking Songs

I miss my dad, but I don't.

He and my mom divorced about 3 years back, and he became Mr. Grumpypants to the extreme.  But at the same time, he's my dad.  He is an out of work insulator, that probably has mesothelioma because of all the asbestos he's worked with over the years.  I haven't talked to him in over 2 years.

The last time we spoke a lot is when I was driving him to the hospital so he could have his radiation therapy done on some cancerous spots they found in his throat.  That was 2008.  Since then, he's moved in with his parents in AZ, and become a total recluse.  I speak with Grandma and Grandpa at times, but never hear about dad.  Is his cancer gone?  Does he have mesothelioma?  Did he contact those lawyers you see on TV?  Is he still an asshole?

Oh well.  I know he's not dead, because I'm his main beneficiary in his will.  I'd be informed of his death.  So that's good, at least.  I guess...


Ok, onto the lighter side of things.  I have a twitter account (@Spud_Slinger) and my blogging contest competition and I have been going back and forth with jokes and jabs.  We eventually started talking about "The shocker."

Don't knock it til you try it

Q, the MC of the blogging battle, had no idea what that was.  So I, um, popped his cherry by showing him this video.

Enjoy!