Yes I am a Man, No I'm Not Going to Rape You

Rape is a serious matter.  I am no expert, so don't come to me for statistics or case studies.  I'm not going to pretend I know everything about rape, rapists or behavior towards rape.

What I would like to address, however, are the idiots out there who think they are experts.

"If women didn't dress provocatively, maybe there would be less rape..."

"I'm afraid to take out the trash after sunset because I might be raped."

"The BBC exec was a rapist and molester... maybe we should have more female execs, since you never hear about women rapists..."

"I should be able to wear whatever I want; If men can't be trusted, maybe they should be blindfolded!"

Between statements like that and people I know painting with some broad (and odd) brush-strokes, I'm ready to throw my hands up in the air.

Nobody deserves to be sexually harassed or assaulted.  Nobody is 'asking for it.'  But just because the majority of reported cases are men assaulting women, doesn't mean:

- Only men are rapists, or
- All men are rapists.

One of my closest college friends worked his way through school, and had a female boss.  The boss harassed him, flirted with him, touched him in unwarranted and unwelcomed ways, and eventually fired him because he wouldn't put out.

When he reported the harassment and assault (before AND after his firing) he was laughed at.  "Women don't do that" is what he was told.  Others said "Nice.  She's hot.  Why don't you just bang her?  You're lucky..."

Just because it's not 50/50 doesn't mean it doesn't go both ways...

And as a male, I think about sex.  A lot.  If you're attractive, curvy, have a nice personality, or were just plain friendly with me, I have probably imagined you in some sort of sexual way (consciously or subconsciously).  Does that mean I want to have sex with you?  Not necessarily.  Does that mean I'm going to rape you??  Absolutely not.  It means I'm a human with hormones and a vivid imagination.

I guarantee there are other men that have sexual thoughts about friends/coworkers/strangers/etc from time to time, if not subconsciously.  I guarantee there are plenty of women that do this too, from time to time.  We're human.  We're primal, sexual beings.  But we're also civilized enough to not act on these thoughts.

Hell, I think about flying all the time too.  How cool would it be to have the ability to levitate and just 'fly' somewhere you want to go?  Have I jumped off the roof in my attempts to fly?  No.  Why?  Because I'm not dumb.

Rape and other forms of sexual assault aren't laughing matters, but the internet is a dark place.  People make fun of anything and everything, and even the thick-skinned can get offended from time to time.  People also use humor as a coping mechanism (I'm WAY guilty of that) and sometime that can result in hurt feelings and pissed-off people.

But the internet is also filled with people on soapboxes, claiming to know everything.  This is why congressmen think pregnancy via rape can be 'shut down' by a woman's body, and why people fear sexual assault more than they need to.  Yes, there are bad people out there, but please don't label me as one of them.

I am a white male.  I am not a racist, sexist, bigot or rapist.  Are most child molesters, most rapists, most corrupt-politicians, most peophiles, most etc etc etc while males?  Probably, depending on what internet statistic you believe, but just because a square is a rectangle doesn't make a rectangle a square.

I am me.  When I dress nicely, it's because I want to be noticed.  When I dress professionally I want to be seen as a professional.  When I dress for the club, I dress to be attractive and to be desired.  I want you drooling for a piece of me.  Do you do the same thing?  I don't know.  I'm me, you're you.

With that said, if you're desirable you're probably going to be desired.  If you're attractive people are bound to be attracted to you.  That doesn't mean you're going to be raped, that doesn't mean you are seen simply as a sexual object, and most importantly, THAT DOESN'T MAKE YOU MORE OR LESS OF A HUMAN BEING.  Male or female.  Be smart, be safe, but stop being so judgmental and paranoid.

Hot Dogs Cause BUTT CANCER (among other things)

I was aghast (and amused) when I read a recent news article about hot dogs and butt cancer.

You see, PCRM is mentioning a study where processed meats can increase colorectal cancer risk.  However, putting BUTT CANCER in big bold letters on a Chicago billboard is much more fun.

My favorite paragraph of the article says "Janet Riley, president of the hot dog council (ha!!) said in a statement that hot dogs are 'part of a healthy, balanced diet.'...."

First off, a hot dog council sounds epic.  Secondly, part of a healthy, balanced diet?  Could you imagine hot dog commercials using that as a tag line?  I know cereal companies do, but hot dogs?!?  SOMEONE NEEDS TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN.

Depending on which side you are on, this is either showing people the truth about processed meats, or this is just propaganda from a PETA-esque company.  Either or, it makes for some good humor.

Besides butt cancer, hot dogs are also known to:

Turn Men On (when used properly)

Turn Men Off (when used improperly)

Bring your mind into the gutter...

Cost you a run for the US Presidency...

Create internet lol's galore...

And, every now and then, just look kind of gay.
(See?  Even Michelle is confused by Barack's... um... enthusiasm.)

So yes, hot dogs are extremely versatile, cause butt cancer, are a part of a complete and balanced diet, and WILL DRIVE YOU INSANE.

Off-the-grid Weekend

I am a tech head.  My phone is always at my side, I spend waaaay too much time on the internet, and I'm the personal 'geek squad' for my neighborhood and friends.

And for this past weekend, I was without all of it.

I was off the grid.

My girlfriend and I decided we were spending more time with our tech than we were with each other, so we decided to do a tech-free weekend.  No phones, no computers, no internet, just each other.

A good idea, in theory, but it was going to be rough.

We read books.  We cleaned the house.  We took a walk.  We did other things as well.  All without playing games on our phones, me checking my blog, or her chatting with her scrap-booky friends all over the world.

We had a productive weekend, and got a lot of things done.  It felt good.

Mostly.

This weekend showed me two things:

1 - If you cut out all the time you waste online or playing with your phone, you have a TON of free time to do productive things.  I scratched more off my 'to do' list this weekend than I have in the last three months.

2 - I'm addicted to my tech.  There were times at 2am where I wanted to sneak out to my laptop and check my facebook.  Or play Words With Friends.  It was hard to give up tech for a full 60 hours, but I did it.

Mostly.

She granted one pardon, for the Super Bowl.  Honestly, the game was less than spectacular and most of the commercials were 'meh.'  I could have probably gone without.

Have you ever gone 'off the grid' like this, just to see if you could, or to see what the result would be?

The rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated...

Judgement day has begun...

Or, at least according to my internet.

It has been on and off all weekend, and is now completely dead.  Techs coming tomorrow, but this is why I have been absent from my normal internet shenanigans lately.

In honor of the internet being a big pile of fail, and to continue the Sunday Silliness tradition, I present to you some lols.  Normal programming will resume Monday.

It's not true!!!!  IT'S NOT TRUE!!!

Q???  Is this you???

And of course, no page making fun of the interwebs is complete without this vid...

Observations: The Library Computer Lab

So I have been spending a lot of time at the local library, because I have been catching up on my reading.  I am also new to the blogging scene, and enjoy looking up material to help 'hone my craft.'

Every now and then, I decide to wander and observe the library-dwellers in their natural habitat.

The computer lab, in my opinion, is the most entertaining.

First off, it smells like a combination of cheese, feet, cigarette smoke and despair.  There are 4 rows of computers, about 10 machines deep.  You can be on the 'outside' area, where essentially noone can see you from behind, or you can be on the 'inside' area, where you are back to back with other users, and people in other rows can peek at your screens.

I decided one day to sit down, surf the net a little, and spend some time being nosy.

For one, there are a lot of kids there.  Teens and tweens, getting acclimated to the intertubes, and looking at Justin Bieber fansites or pokemon forums.  They usually travel in packs, sit next to each other, and talk (somewhat loudly) to each other about how they just found THE COOLEST THING EVER!!

 

Not that a good LOL is a bad thing, but when Nazi-Librarians SHOOSH you at every chance they get, it becomes annoying.

I stared at one guy for about two minutes.  He was in this "deep thought" pose, not clicking or scrolling at all.  I couldn't look close enough, but I'm not even sure his eyes were moving like he was reading.  Just staring... glaring... like he challenged the whole internet to a stare-down, and was determined to win.

The most amusing person was directly across from me.  Our screens were back-to-back, so I couldn't see what she was doing, or even her face, but the noises spoke for themselves.  One minute, she was sniffling and typing away, letting out a dramatic *sob* every few seconds, and then....

 

*TYPPITY TYPPITY TYPPITY* she goes, clacking and smacking the keyboard with her mad-80wpm-skillz, fuming with rage and pissed at whomever was making her cry in the first place.

A few screens that I could peek at made me grin.  Older ladies on 'speed dating' sites, where their profile picture was a woman at least 20 years younger and a whole lot hotter.  Man, if she ever finds a date on that site, the dude is in for some SERIOUS surprises...

There were also a few of the 'angry redneck' types, reading news articles and blaming Obama for the Egypt crisis, the Chicago blizzard, the Bears not making the Super Bowl, and Charlie Sheen's drug problems.  Again, they travel in packs, sit next to each other, and point out different websites to share and gripe about.

MOAR SHOOSHING FROM THE LIBRARIAN!!!

One guy never clicked.  Never typed.  Just scrolled and scrolled.  I know search engines like Bing and Google have ways of just scrolling through results now (especially image results).  Maybe he was looking at dirty pictures?  Maybe naughty shooshing librarians?  I dunno...

A bad thing about comp time at the library is you get 60 minutes and you're done.  I could people-watch all day, but I was shooshed away after an hour.