Looks Like SOMEONE'S Got a Case of the Mondays!!

No, man...

Shit... no, man....

I believe you'd get your ass kicked sayin' something like that, man...

But that's me.  Recovering from a SERIOUS case of the Monday's.

Why?

Well, my Monday started like this:

I pack and get ready to leave for the week to Salt Lake, Nevada, and parts unknown.  I walk the dog, and take off.  But whoops, forget to load shit into my car.

Strike one.

My car breaks down.  AGAIN.  It died a week ago in Billings.  It took the dealership 3 days (and $700+) to fix the car.  Same exact problem with the radiator blowing.  This time, instead of city limits, I'm in the middle of nowhere.  And my engine seizes.  I'm supposed to be picking someone up at the SLC airport, and now I'm 4 hours delayed.

Strike two.

I get to the dealership, tell them they're going to fix the car at no cost (since the first dealership didn't do it right) and get them to put me into a rental car so I can continue on my trip.  They stick me in a rental with a half-flat tire, hoping I wouldn't notice.  I make them fix it, which delays me another half hour.

I'll count that one as strike 2.5....

The rest of the day isn't bad.  I meet my counterpart, hit up some stops in SLC, and then drive to Elko.  We book at this "vintage" hotel/casino....

• The rooms are haggard
• The carpets are stained.  Badly.
• She sees dried blood on her walls.  I see dried boogers on mine.

• We have Refridgerators instead of refrigerators.  And apparently refridgerators don't refridgerate very well (mine's warm).
• Best of all.  No hot water.  Apparently instead of water heaters the hotel gets hot water from a geothermal area in the city.  And the city is having issues.  

"I'm sorry, sir... you should have hot water by midnight tonight, or sometime tomorrow in the early AM..."

So this is me at the moment... while typing this post.   It was a 14 hour day of frustration and disappointment, mingled in with a little bit of fun and jokes.

For the most part, my blood pressure was spiked.  I wanted to kick a little kitten through the goalpost uprights.  Twice.

I'm starting to calm down a little, but I'm really REALLY hoping Tuesday is a better day than Monday was....

So... on that note... how YOU doin??

Mixing Business With Pleasure

I have been working on and of for the past two weeks on a website.  I have done this before, on occasion.  I've freelanced as a web designer for local small businesses that want a web presence, and I know how to slap one together.

Why is this one any different than the others, you may ask?

This wasn't for a client.  This was for... my girlfriend.

Do what I say, or I'll KIIIILL YOOOU!!!

Granted, she's not an ax-wielding psychopath ALL the time, but this picture seems relevant at the moment.

(babe, don't kill me)

She is going through the process of turning a hobby into a career.  She's a damn-good scrapbooker, and a lot of people have told her she should do this professionally.

See what I mean?  Gorgeous.  And this isn't even her best work...

Over the last year, that thought has grown and grown, and now she has a website.  This Saturday will be her first craft fair, where she is going to sell her wares, and get her name out there for some custom-made stuff (custom, not pre-made, is where the REAL money is, but you have to start somewhere...)

Cards for Sale, along with pre-made books and other stuff.

Don't get me wrong.  I love that she's doing this.  If she can turn her passion into a paying gig, she'll be doing what she loves and making money from it.  Ultimately, that's what everyone wants.

But the website building... well, that was... a peach.  Let's just leave it at that.

When doing websites for a client, they're usually not that bright, web-wise.  So when you use a domain hosting site (I use iPage) and it comes with templates, you use whatever shortcuts you have.  I can do a half-assed job and they'd still be thrilled.

(And believe me, when I use only half my ass, it still looks good.  Full-ass websites are fantastic even if they ARE based from a pre-existing template!)

Not my girl.  She's as much of a geek as I am.  (I met her on WoW, enough said)

She knew the font, the layout, the color scheme, the slideshows, backlinks, crosslinks, etc. that she wanted.  She came with a list.  Which means not only did I need to bring my A-game, but I had to learn a few new things to give her what she wanted.  Thank goodness for Dreamweaver and it's many tutorials.

The design changed 3-4 times.  The color palette changed about as often.  Fonts were tricky.  And all the time, her show this Saturday was looming.  She had already printed business cards, and watermarks on all the books and cards, heralding her new site.

It HAD to be done on time.

Well, not just on time.  It needed to be done a week early, so she and her friends could test it out, and I can fix any problems/bugs they found.  (THAT list is already growing too...)

On a regular basis, I was reminded it needed to be done.

"Is it done yet?"

"You told me it was gonna be done 3 days ago."

"You KNOW I NEED it to be done ASAP, right??"

This was my face at about 7:30 Saturday night...

The good news is it's done.  She didn't kill me, I didn't kill her, and we have 5 more days for testing and such. She has her crack team of friends, relatives, and scrappy associates playing with it, so I'm sure I'll have plenty more to work on during the week.

So long story short, mixing business with pleasure was... an experience.  The good news is, if this show is successful, and she gets her name out there, it will be smooth sailing for her business plans from here on out.

After all, she has a website now!!

Godaddy? No, daddy.

I'm sorry.  Not even Danica Patrick in a string bikini can save my opinion on this website.  Maybe if she lost the bikini....

I woke up Thursday morning feeling inspired.  I have a little money chilling in paypal, and it's burning a hole in my virtual pocket.  It's not enough to buy anything decent (it's under $20), but it's enough to buy a domain for my blog.

Yes, Pinocchio is trying to turn into a real boy.  I want a real website!

I pick out a name I like, and buy the domain.  I fill out all the forms, pay via paypal, and *ding* I have a website address!

Cool!

I configure all the settings from blogger to my new site, do all the DNS data to get it to switch over, and test it a few times.  It's workin nice...

My good mood turns into a great mood.  I start designing things with the new website address on it.  Cards to leave around internet cafe's?  I've seen in done before, but the 'wtfamidoing' tag seemed too long.

Not any more.

Get it?  Idaho's a red state!  Hahahaha!!

My marketing brain starts to tick.  I've been doing marketing for 6 years in a previous life, so I start thinking about how to get my blog's website better known.

But eh, it's time to go to work.  Oh yeah, I have a day job.  Dammit.  Granted, I like this job, but there are just some days where a 9-5 doesn't thrill you (mainly the days that end in a 'y').

This week has been, well, unique.  I'm only 3 weeks (ish) old at this place, and my boss is out of town on personal business.  She's available by cell/email, but not in the office, not answering the phone, and not helping walk-in people.  The other girl in the department has been off because of a surgery.  That leaves me, the newbie, alone to handle everything on my own.

Eeps.

Oh yeah, add a few interns and a student worker into the mix.  One intern is badass, and knows how to keep herself busy.  She sees what needs to be done, and does it.  The others, not so much.  Handholding is a term I debate using, because even that seems a little understated at times.

So I'm going solo in the office scheme.  But wait!  Today I'm not in the office for the afternoon!  I get to drive 30 miles to the BYU campus, and fish for more interns for the next semester.

(BYU-rant blogpost coming soon.  There's just too much to share, and I've only been there twice.)

Back to the main story.  I'm on campus, where cell reception is nil, and all the 'pop' machines (not soda.  pop.  ugh.) have no caffeine.  Better still, they don't take money.  There are little slots for "Mormon Mastercards" but not cash.  Grrrr.

My good mood is fading.

IT'S MEET THE STUDENTS TIME!!  yaay...

Most of them were cool kids.  Upbeat, sharp, and friendly.  There were one or two who asked me what Ward I belong to (slang for church) and then gave me dirty looks for not being a part of the cool-kids-club.

Mood levels fading even more.

My phone buzzes.

It's godaddy!

Come to tell me that things are going smoothly?

NO!  OF COURSE NOT!

"We don't like the data you gave us, so we're freezing your account.  Your website is now locked, and we're refunding your money."

What?

....what?

...wow.

Little did I know that my blog was still redirecting to the now-frozen site.  It was essentially dead for the majority of the day.

Granted, I was on my blackberry, but you get the idea.

Thanks godaddy.  I have 45 pageviews today (Thursday) instead of my normal count in the 200's.  My viral versus viral contest is borked now, since people can't vote on a site that's dead.  I make $10-20 a day on ad revenue, and today it's only 10 cents.

Grrrr.  I need a drink.  And bewbs.  And a bj or something.  Or maybe another domain host.  iPage, here I come!

Today's blog post is sponsored by....

**DISCLAIMER**
This story is in no way meant to offend or ridicule people with disabilities.  I help the aging and disabled community every day at my dayjob.  This is merely a story of frustration, and meant for (somewhat) entertaining purposes only.

As always, read the comments as well as the post.  Sometimes the discussion afterwards is funnier than the initial post.

****************

Sonic!

Yes, Sonic, the wonderful drive-in.

Now, you may be saying... "Dude!  But Sonic isn't just an Idaho thing!  They're practically everywhere!"

Yes, but this one is special.   And when I say special, I mean it more than one way.

Short-bus special, for instance...

So last night my girlfriend said "Let's pick up some Sonic for dinner."  Now, as a man, my goal is to get there, get grub, and get back as quickly as I can.

I get over there, and there is a huge line at the drive-thru.  This happens sometimes, so I didn't worry too much about it.

But as I placed my order, I started to wonder about the drive-thru dude taking my order.  He sounded like he was mockingly doing an impression of Ed Sullivan or a cheezy radio DJ.

"mmmmmmmmmWelcome to Sonic... My name... is Brad.  mmmmmmmmmWhat can I get you today?"

mmmm...yeah.  Really?

I placed my order, then creeped ahead in line.  Slowly.  Very slowly.

I finally get to the window, and am greeted by mister announcer dude.  Turns out he, in fact, is not Ed Sullivan.  He's disabled, and speaking isn't one of his strengths.

I try to be friendly, but it's now making sense why it took me about 15 minutes to get to this point in the drive-thru process, where it normally only takes 3-5...

"mmmmmmmmmYour total today.... is...$12.03."

I try to hand him a twenty.

"....for two Chicken Nugget Meals..... one with fries.... one with tots..."

He's not taking the twenty.

"...a coke with no ice... and an unsweet tea...."

I'm waving the twenty.  Strippers 200 miles away can sense a waving $20 bill... It's like dog-whistles to a German Shepherd... but he doesn't seem to notice.

"mmmmIs that correct, sir?"

I say yes, and ALL OF A SUDDEN he sees the money!

"Out of twenty?  mmmmmmmmmOk"

Now, I'm not trying to make fun of the kid.  I know he has a condition, and I applaud him for trying to overcome it.  I'm trying to be tolerant and mindful of the situation.   My lil bro has aspergers and some other developmental disabilities, so I can empathize a little... but seriously?

Yes, I know you have a script to follow.  Yes, I know you have to repeat the order back to me.  Yes, I know you have to count the change back to ensure it's correct.

But when the whole damn process takes longer than me humming Bohemian Rhapsody in my head, IN ITS ENTIRETY, there's a problem.

Side note, when I got to the 'Wayne's World' section (after the operetta, before the guitar riffs...) I almost started headbanging.  THAT is how disjointed I am at this point.

Beelzebub... has a devil put aside for me.... for meeee... for MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

When I worked at Macy's, I knew my weaknesses.  I probably wasn't going to do well as a salesman for ladies underwear.  Macy's recognized that too, and utilized my strengths.

Sonic, please do the same.  Help him build his character, help him achieve his goal of becoming a productive worker and becoming more independent, but please remember that customers like me just want to get In and Out as quickly as possible.

Speaking of, I wish there was an In and Out nearby.... Sonic is good, but a Double Double is better.

Fucking Idaho....

Sunday Sillyness: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

So my laptop is dead.  DEAD.   It won't start up.  The fans come on, and the initial 'click' of the drives happen, but the BIOS or starting screen won't pop up.  I've troubleshooted online, and it says it could be a memory issue, motherboard or CPU.  I'm worried it could be one of those, plus a nasty virus.  I reformatted my comp about a month ago, and my antivirus software has miraculously found nothing since then.  No spyware, no viruses.  Awfully fishy.

So I'm dead in the water right now.  I'm borrowing my gf's laptop to post this, since we have 2 machines in the house.  @#$%^&^$#@@#$%^&

Anyway, here are two vids that cheered me up a little, and I hope they will bring a smile to your face too.  Two ridiculous videos from two awesome bands.  Enjoy!