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3/14/12

Hot Dogs Cause BUTT CANCER (among other things)

I was aghast (and amused) when I read a recent news article about hot dogs and butt cancer.

You see, PCRM is mentioning a study where processed meats can increase colorectal cancer risk.  However, putting BUTT CANCER in big bold letters on a Chicago billboard is much more fun.

My favorite paragraph of the article says "Janet Riley, president of the hot dog council (ha!!) said in a statement that hot dogs are 'part of a healthy, balanced diet.'...."

First off, a hot dog council sounds epic.  Secondly, part of a healthy, balanced diet?  Could you imagine hot dog commercials using that as a tag line?  I know cereal companies do, but hot dogs?!?  SOMEONE NEEDS TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN.

Depending on which side you are on, this is either showing people the truth about processed meats, or this is just propaganda from a PETA-esque company.  Either or, it makes for some good humor.

Besides butt cancer, hot dogs are also known to:

Turn Men On (when used properly)

Turn Men Off (when used improperly)

Bring your mind into the gutter...

Cost you a run for the US Presidency...

Create internet lol's galore...

And, every now and then, just look kind of gay.
(See?  Even Michelle is confused by Barack's... um... enthusiasm.)
So yes, hot dogs are extremely versatile, cause butt cancer, are a part of a complete and balanced diet, and WILL DRIVE YOU INSANE.


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