Wordless Wednesday - Something for the Vegans

I'll let this picture speak for itself...

Enjoy your day!  If I find the time to actually write something worthwhile, you may have another update before Friday...

Cats In Heat are Just Plain Wrong

I have two cats:  Weeble and Dora.  Both female, both fixed.

However, Weebs got fixed after her first round of being in heat.  We waited too long, and IT started before her spaying appointment.

OH. MY. GOD.

Photographing Kitty Porn???  PERVERT!!

As if the yowling wasn't enough, she went after the only male in the house (ahem) and begged to be fucked.  It was disturbing.  Ass in the air, or backing into me and dry-humping whatever she could get.

We couldn't throw her outside, because a half-dozen alley cats were outside.  They KNEW there was a female in heat, and they wanted a piece of her...  6-month old innocent virgin... that has to be the holy grail for male cats...

After days of anguish, I finally called the vet.  "I know we can't get her fixed til she's done, doc..." I asked,  "but what can we do in the meantime?"

So the vet tells me a trick:  If I take a cotton swab and rub her in just the right way, it'll get her off and give me a day or so of peace.

...what...

I went to the medicine cabinet....

I grabbed a Q-Tip, and looked at it.  Confused and mortified.

I swallowed my pride, took the swab, and sat down on the couch.  Within seconds she's on my lap, yowling and humping the air as usual.  "Fuck me, daddy!  Fuck me good and put me out of my misery!"

So fuck her I did.  I did just as the vet said:  I pinned her down like a male cat would.  She yowled and hissed and struggled, but it was all a part of the act.  Her rear raised slowly, as if saying:

HELP!  I'M BEING RAPED!  HELP!  (stick it in, daddy)


I took the tip of the swab (heh, just the tip...) and rubbed it where the vet told me to.  She let out moans of ecstasy I have never heard before (shut up) and after about 30 seconds, pretty much passed out on me.

She was spent.

And I felt unclean.  So unclean...  I showered and scrubbed, but I felt so dirty.  So used...

I went through three Q-Tips during that ordeal.  I still have horrible flashbacks whenever I hear a cat yowling for sex...

Years later when I adopted Dora, she got fixed as soon as fucking possible.  There was NO WAY I would go through that disturbing 'kitty porn' scenario again...

And that, my friends, is the story of when I fucked my cat.  She begged me to do it, honest!

Ending 2011 With Freaky Mormons Looking for Sex

2011 is quickly coming to a close, and I'd like to end my first year as a blogger with a bang.

I thought long and hard, and then couldn't think of anything.

But then...

"Bang..."

"Long and Hard...."

Why not a sex-themed post?

After hours of searching around the internet, I found myself on the 'Casual Encounters' section on Craigslist.  I found an interesting post for an LDS couple looking for another LDS couple for some swinging and swapping:

I smirked.  And laughed.  And then searched for more LDS-themed sex post.  I found these...

Surprisingly there was a lot of 'm4m' posts, especially in the Salt Lake Market.  Penises galore.

(If you want to see them, go search for yourself)

I'm ending 2011 with a new-found respect for Mormons.  Seems like they can get their freak-on too... now if only they would quit it with their "holier than thou" attitude in public...

Happy 2012, everyone!

Freaky Friday: Non-pornographic Pornography

Welcome to the internet.  If you didn't already know, the internet is for porn (thank you, Avenue Q).  And the interwebs are FILLED with it.

I should know... I'm a dude...

If you search "Freaky Friday" on my blog, you will see a wide variety of weird things that people are into.  I've covered amputee fetishes, balloons in the bedroom, online trysts, and even stuffed-animal loving.

Good times.

Today I'm going to share my favorite yet.  Why?  Because this is the first one I've found that I'm actually somewhat into.

Non-pornographic porn.  Specifically the type found at Beautiful Agony.  BA specializes in vids people record of them getting themselves off.  But there's a twist.

No nudity.  No graphic images.  You typically see the person (they have both men and women) from the shoulders up.

Like this.

No nipples, no penises, no X rating at all.  Just facial expressions, moans and the like.  You get to see people at their purest, having a no-frills and no-nonsense orgasm.

Most smut online is graphic.  Extremely graphic.  The reason I like this concept is because it's a little classier than the normal fare.  You get to see people doing their thing, and an orgasm is a beautiful thing.

I love having them.  I love giving them to others.  Orgasms rock.

Bonus points, for guys who watch way too many pornos, you get to see what an actual climax looks like.  This isn't a faked "oh baby, give it to me harder" ordeal.  This is the quivering, the gasping, the facial expressions and the release that make it feel oh so good.

It can also be educational for the sexually inexperienced.  No two O's are the same.  They're like sexual snowflakes.  Just because you don't hear "oh god, oh God, OH GOD" doesn't mean the bubble didn't burst.

I'm trying to keep this post semi-safe for work (as I do for most Freaky Friday posts) but if you want to see an actual video of this, click here.  The site is ultra-NSFW, so click at your own discretion.

The first time I saw it, I didn't blink.  And for someone who looks at dirty vids from time to time, that's saying something.

It's tame.  It's not X rated.  But it's still pornography, and it's outside what could be called the norm.  While not a true blue fetish, I think it classifies. Barely.

What say you?  Weird?  Hot?  Bland?

Idaho Radio: Singing About Sex Is Forbidden... But Cocaine is OK!

There are two radio stations I listen to in town.  One is a top 40 station, and the other is a Generation X "no DJ" station.

Both are heavily censored.  When Bruno Mars is talking about having a girl over and having "some really nice sex" they delete it out.  When Katy Perry gets hammered and talked about streaking and threesomes, it gets censored out.  You like Buckcherry?  They won't play Crazy Bitch, but Lit Up is ok...  Here's the song:

Sublime can Smoke Two Joints, but Lady Gaga can't take a ride on a disco stick?

Why is drug use allowed in Idaho, but sex is taboo?

In honor of that wonderful double standard, I present these fun cocaine memes for your enjoyment.

classic

a lostinidaho.me original

this explains SO much, Alice...

If this were my cat, it would explain so much...

Using Teletubbies to Teach Your Kids About Sex

You see, when La-la and Po decided they loved each other very much...

...no wait, let me start over...

You see, Dipsy has a different part than Tinky-Winky, and...

...um....

crap.

Here, let me illustrate...

Does that make any sense?